Way Previously on LDHD: "This is LuLu's Blogger News, and I'm Caitlin Chan. We have received word that Alicia Powderpaws, the innocent kitten who vanished shortly before Mother's Day and was presumed to have been viciously murdered by a duplicitous fiend, has been found safe somewhere in the Smoky Mountain Range. She admitted that she ran off with her boyfriend, a Siamese cat named Cadence, and dumped the blame on the aforementioned duplicitous fiend, better known as the cat who turned himself into a snipe, simply because she wanted to get her own TV reality show." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Pretty much what I figured, but who believes a cat burglar?" (Photo by Steph J.)

"Mizz Powderpaws further confessed to implicating the cat who caused the local snipe scare in her bizarre but understandable scheme, mainly as it gave the story a better PR uptick. 'He fell right into my paws,' she purred. Ms. Powderpaws reality show is expected to air sometime this fall on the Sluggo Network." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Oh, that ought to be at least as interesting as Mrs. Beagle's zircon collar studs." (Photo by Steph J.)

"Now, here with an update about that bad, bad puddy tat is NCBDXQY-Network reporter Monica Montez. I'm Caitlin Chan." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Thank you, Caitlin. I'm Monica Montez. The cat who turned himself into a snipe, and later into a diverse series of creatures, also surrendered to authorities today, explaining that he did what he did because he plans to run for office and wants voters to realize how adaptable he can be. 'There aren't enough parties to elect all of me,' he told reporters minutes before he was released into the wild. His lawyer said criminal charges were unlikely, at least until he serves a term in Congress." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Look at me! I'm a monkey's uncle!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"And now it's over to one of our affiliates for a vaguely related story, while I grab a biscuit and knock back a couple shots of dogwood juice." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Thank you, Monica. Valentino Vercingetorix here with a related story about a young chit who chirps....." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I want to sell my virginity on a TV show in order to pay off my student loans and make an international laughingstock of myself!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"You go, girl! As Napoleon once said -- 'Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever.'" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Or maybe that was ZsaZsa Gabor." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"This is LuLu's Blogger News, and I'm Thyvernia Woofingham. The hunt goes on at this hour for the cat who disguised himself first as a snipe, then as a rogue elephant, and was last seen chasing a mouse across Lincoln Park in a gorilla costume. Wherever and whatever he is tonight, the cat is the main mammal of interest in the disappearance of innocent kitten Alicia Powderpaws, who vanished from her home shortly before Mother's Day. The cat is not declawed and is assumed to have 'tude -- which sounds pretty much like most cats to me. Police dogs are warning the public to run like hell if they sniff anything suspicious." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Now that I'm disguised as a painfully cute puppy, I'm off to hunt down that twit Alicia. Being a murder suspect so doesn't fit with my curriculum vitae." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)