The bowser is lower than the yen. Lily must be responsible!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"The Kibble Market is down 800 points! Can it be Lily's doing?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"What rubbish and nonsense!"/"So long as we hold the reins of commerce, bro, what does it matter who gets to neigh?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Sometimes I don't like Lincoln Park that much!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Amen." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Time does not flow at a fixed rate, nor do I. Hello, my name is Lily. Don't dream of considering me the average dog next door." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Try being all things to all mammals, Lily. But wait! My bad! We already have three political candidates doing just that. My advice? Go ahead and play the cute card. DIFFERENT gets noticed." (Photo by Stephanie J.)

"I need a hero." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"We all do, precious, but Balto the Wonder Dog is long gone, and I doubt his like will pass this way again. ARF! SOB!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Well, barf my biscuits! With encouragement like that, few potential heroes are gonna die trying, babe." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"The Frisbee of life spins round and round, and I've got a feeling one day Balto will be back." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Get no respect? Then why not try being a hero today? Adopt a lonely cat or dog from a shelter, sponsor a pet, or just drop off a bag of toys. Granted, not everybody will find a pet as adorable as I am, but then, how many of you will wind up dating a movie star or winning the lottery? Aim for the possible and work your way up!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Your pardon, sexy blonde gringa --- Raoul Castro would like a word." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"To quote an idiot savant from the 1960s: 'When the moon wanes, the minnows suffer.' Now there's a slogan to look for on a dog-food can!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Here's an update from 2008, the economy sucks, and pets are suffering. Well, I'm not; I have a trust fund. But you get the drift. Please help!" (Photo by Stephanie J.)

"More and more pets are losing their homes and being sent to shelters. Consider adopting a newly orphaned cat or dog from your local humane society, or ask about sponsoring a pet. Granted, you can't take the pet as a tax write-off, but you just might win a few badly needed karmic points for your efforts, and if you're a member of the Boomer Generation, you got to know by now that the devil's keeping a tally." (Photo by Beth Javens)

"I just read that a Virgin Atlantic jumbo jet is being fueled by nuts. I don't know whether to be outraged or titillated." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I guess we've finally reached the point where the news is more entertaining than the movies." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Lily's back from Scotland without her army, but she doesn't seem like the same girl." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I'm taking over this rat-puke planet, and then I'm going to destroy it!" (Photo by J.M Hilton)

"Oh, come on, sweetie! Everybody gets stuck flying coach once in a while." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I believe we've finally located Captain Amoreda." (Photo by Stephanie J.)

"Jail? I'm being sent to jail? Egad! Who ratted me out to King Rockie as the voice of revolution?" (Photo by Stephanie C.)

"Who do you think, you big lug? And don't expect me to bail out your curly tush this time around!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)