"Maid Marian has run off with a forest ranger? Maybe I can convince Lily to give her all for her country." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Maid Marian took off two months ago with a forest ranger named Shirley. What's your beef, pal?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I, Spencer, vow to not let Lily -- with her touted IQ of 300 -- bother me in the least this year!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I, LuLu, resolve to stop pining for King Rockie the First, and look for a warm tongue and cold nose at the end of another leash!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I, Sadie, resolve to get in touch with King Rockie the First ASAP. I want a picture of that cold nose on my BlackBerry! It will turn my sister rabid! Hmmm. Maybe I can even work out a way to become an upscale camp follower!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"All right! All right! I'll enter a twelve-paw program...tomorrow. I promise! Hey! I can stop lapping whenever I want, you know?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I'm sorry, but I've resolved to take holy orders in February!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Same resolution as last year, Mr. Hound?"/"The public be damned, old son. The public be damned!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"A New Year's resolution? I can't imagine! Well, maybe to lead a less staid social life. Then again, I was recently held hostage by pirates. My love life's kind of boring, although the last dog I dated turned out to be a space alien. Why don't I just resolve to work for world peace? Does that sound OK?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I never make New Year's resolutions! But I am thinking of switching over to low-rider jeans and a tube top!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I resolve to become the plaything of a pair of vicious female jackals. Of course, who wouldn't want that, right?" (Photo by S. Jayne)

"Nuts! What? No, I don't think you understand. My resolve is nuts! Same damn thing every single year. It's nuts!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I hope our designated walker isn't the guy in the corner trying to do a Krypto the Superdog impersonation!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Chitters and twitters, compadres! In the spirit of diversity and the fact I own the only solvent bank in idyllic Lincoln Park, I, Nux Medici, have been chosen to wish everybody a Happy New Year from LuLu's Desperate House Dogs. So Happy New Year, and a can of mixed nuts from Squirrel Bank to one and all! PS: This blog is in arrears." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"'Auld Lang Syne' is a poem written by the great Scottish bard, Robert Burns. In actuality, it was written by his Scottish Terrier, Heather, and initially contained a lot more stuff about gnawing bones and going after game. You know, the important things! 'Auld Lang Syne' (in English) means 'long, long ago' -- as in: 'long, long ago an annoying squirrel pushed me to the edge. But on a lovely New Year's Eve, I nailed him near a hedge.' May all your bones be fine in 2009!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I guess it should come as no surprise to anyone that the hit movie of the holiday season is a film about a dog!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"What's surprising is that I'm not STARRING in it!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"And they say CATS are vain!" (Photo by S. Jayne)

"Wait a minute! Doesn't Lily have an IQ of 300? Why isn't she working on saving the world or finding a cure for bloat?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Don't be ridiculous! Give any female, however brilliant, the option of being Marie Curie or Nicole Kidman, and she'll opt for glamor over substance every single time." (Photo by Beth J.)

"Philistine! I've got a high IQ and don't feel that way at all. Of course, I also don't have a date for New Year's Eve, but that's beside the point." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)