"Whoa! What's this? The conclusion of The Maltese Chew Toy Mystery? Sam, we wuz jus' gettin' to know ya!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

Are Sam Spencer's wild, wild ways behind him? It's all up to a certain San Francisco spaniel with a loathing for gunsels and a taste for adventure. (Photo by J.M. Hilton) To read our story from the beginning, click on 03/06/2007 in our archives~

"SCANDAL SPANIEL! THE MALTESE CHEW TOY! A living doggie drollery, I vow and swear~" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

SCANDAL SPANIEL: Starring Fiona Chippendale as Flare Astoria, the bitch apparent to rule the Upper West Side dog park. PS, she just slept with your crate-mate. (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

Also starring Perth Melbourne as Sierra van Winkle, the "good girl." She slept with Flare's crate-mate, but then came down with amnesia, which makes it all better. (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

Featuring Presley ("I'm-just-a-gigolo") Dean as Harvard Yale, the dog with more biscuits than brains, and a past more checkered than a houndstooth collar. (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

Also featuring Lily Hilton as Xanthippe Astoria -- the booze-lapping, crate-hopping, into-leather-straps-and-Dobies-with-masks MOTHER of Flare. "Is that you I hear approaching, Kennel Club Master?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

When last we heard from Lily, she barked:"Finally, my acting career is back on track. I've aced the part of Flare Astoria, the coke-and-caviar pup who rules New York's hottest dog park on the new TV rave, SCANDAL SPANIEL~" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

But the unidentified SCANDAL SPANIEL responded:"Dear Lily only THINKS she's nailed the role of Flare, my poor muttish readers who can't afford $895 for starter ear blings. Those of us who live on the Upper West Side know our botox bitches from our pubescent pups. Lily's little choo choo is about to get derailed." (Photo by Javagwah Nemo)

And LuLu observed:"Oh, Dog! I hope Lily got some part on that semi-salacious but thoroughly worth-watching show. Otherwise, I'll have to bury my BlackBerry and hope she's forgotten how to send email." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)