Meanwhile...."I'm not really a pirate or a terrorist; I'm just a flighty old actor bird." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"But considering what's going on in the world, we're canceling our current play, The Pittsburgh Pirates of Penzance, because we feel it's just not appropriate right now." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Still, we like to leave you laughing, so tonight we're opening a new play...." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

".....called MacBeth." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Is this a limping squirrel which I see before me?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"You idiot! This is Act I, Scene I...not Act II! Jeesh, amateurs!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Damn! I just knew we needed a dress rehearsal!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"What do you want from me? I got stuck in the parking lot at Wal-Mart." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"The last time I heard an excuse that lame was when Birnam Woods came to Dunsinane." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Am I too late to be one of the bitches?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"That's witches!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Same difference, old thane." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Howdy do! I'm the League of Dogs hostage negotiator, and you must be Captain Claw..." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Who says I have a flaw? And I've never met Jude Law." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Please excuse, gracious wagging-the-tail person, but our pirate captain is a little hard of hearing..." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I'd say you've got that right. This guy doesn't know wenches from winches. At least most parrots read lips! (Cartoon by A.G. Oscard)

"A ghastly Thanksgiving Day mishap rumpled his feathers and turned him against his fellow creatures." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Aye! He used to be a turkey instead of a vulture, but then he had plastic surgery done." (Photo by S. Jayne)

"I don't know about you, but I'm going the vegan route on Thanksgiving." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

Meanwhile...."Great Pyrenees! That hostage ship is the one my ex-wife Syd is on! She must be petrified!" (Photo by Beth J.)

"I bet Fletcher Christian is the cutest pirate since Johnny Depp got his ears pierced! I hope he notices my new collar from the Gilded Paw...as well as my conciliatory attitude~" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I can't stand it! This time I'm going to mutiny!" (Photo by Beth J.)

While back at the kennel..."Oh, Dog! Oh, Dog! What a bailout!" Gasp! Shudder! "Oh, baby, baby, roll me over in another 700 billion!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Hey, look! Isn't that the new Citigroup mascot?"/"Nah! It's just some girly dog." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)