"And now another word from one of our unrepentantly materialistic sponsors!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Hello! I'm Clark Kennel, a mild-mannered spaniel, with a question for you. Are packs of yapping dogs on cell phones causing an uproar at your place of business? Do you feel there's no escape from the intolerable racket and no longer any privacy? Well then, you probably could use a Phido Phone Booth -- or perhaps two, three, or even a half dozen of them!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I'm Lois Pawpath, Clark's partner, and I just can't stop barking about the wonderful Phido Phone Booth! It comes padded and unpadded, and has so many uses. The best news is, your poochie patrons can howl themselves silly on their cell phones without driving anyone else up a tree!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Right you are, Lois! And I feel an overwhelming urge to use a Phido Phone Booth this very minute!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"There goes that whack job in the cape again! At least he's stopped ripping off his harness in hollow trees and abandoned cars!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Call now for more information about the Phido Phone Booth! Call 1-800-Phido-Phone-Booth, or you can contact us online at Herephido.net." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"The world is mad!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

Previously on LDHD: "Greetings, viewers! Once again it's time for LDHD's WEEK IN REVIEW!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Do we have to keep doing this? Last week really sucked!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"The hawk nail your mouse again, darling?" (Photo by Steph J.)

"I heard tell it was a roving tom named Buckshot! On with the news!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Dakota Sierra South here! According to NASA scientists, the Man in the Moon is out of reach. Uh-huh. Like what guy isn't? Anyway, how do they know it's not a dog up there on the moon? How do they know it's not a female? Bite my dew claw, NASA! Anyway, that's the only interesting thing that happened all week. Oh, and I found a bone I buried six months ago! Happy tails~" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"That sucks too!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"But it's not true! There is no Man in the Moon! The Man in the Moon is a dog!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"The Dog in the Moon is a Golden Retriever whose name is Cheese Man!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"She's totally delusional!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Tree-shaking nuts!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"She is? By Jove...that means she's ready for TV network prime-time news!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"The world is barking mad!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)