"Here's some good news for two-leggers! According to a recent survey, the US smoking rate is under twenty percent for the first time on record." (Photo by Beth J.)

"Smoking's an appalling habit. It's hard to believe the things some people will stick in their mouths." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I think it's good news. Most people need to lead healthier lifestyles." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Call for Philip Morris!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Now that we're back on The Street, Mr. Hound, where do you plan to invest your bowsers?"/"Where they can do the most good, old son. We must do what we can to help our ailing brethren." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"J.P. Morgan once said: 'A man always has two reasons for doing anything -- a good reason and the real reason' -- which makes tremendous sense to a cat." (Photo by S. Jayne)

"It doesn't do much for a plain old working dog, however." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"At least we don't have to worry about the collapse of the auto industry, Lily. All we need is somebody to push this contraption."/"Right, Pugsley -- or a sail and a strong wind!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Gosh, Lily, I guess they didn't have Viagra in those days?"/"Don't sit so close to me, OK?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Isn't that pug your old boyfriend -- the one who's still invested in General Motors, LuLu?"/"No, Sadie-dear, that's YOUR old boyfriend, the one who's still invested in AIG." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"A dude named Shakespeare once wrote: 'Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.'" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

Take, for example, the exotic world of politics: "Sure I'll vote for larger dog parks, honey. Just stuff a billion bowsers in my pooper bag before you skedaddle through the pet door." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)