"My wife put all my stock market assets into American financials? I am one distraught discharged dictator!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Isn't it amazing how we're always on paw to help the less fortunate, Mr. Hound?"/"I'd say it well and truly borders on the miraculous, old boy." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I've never seen a golden parachute before!"/"Uh-ho. Who's the guy with the pellet gun?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Hi, there! I'm Buffy Buffett, Warren's wife's dog -- and I want to sell my doghouse. Oh, no need to panic or anything. It's not like I NEED to sell it -- but doghouses are just so not there these days. I've also got some great designer label outfits like this little pink dress by Versnapie, and some almost new chew toys with my personal drool on them. If interested, please contact me via this cheap blog. And don't panic! Please! Poppy would be so miffed." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"That's it! Time for a run on the pet store!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Those are MY PediPaws the mutt below is hawking, by the way, and they're NAIL TRIMMERS. Unfortunately for my person, only the VET trims my nails. He's tall and hot looking, with warm brown eyes and somewhat floppy ears for a human. He holds my paw just right, scratches my ears, and tells me how patient I am. The nail trimmers are fine, but so cold and impersonal. I dunno...maybe if you're a guard dog or something. Still, at 15 bucks, this deal is a steal, and I wasn't given candy or anything to say that." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Excuse me for breaking in on the story, such as it is, but I can't get on EBay, probably because I'm a dog, and I've got some PediPaws clippers to sell. How does $15 (American) sound? Just email me, Morey, at this site. Uh, I've also got a few naked shots of Fredonia, the French Poodle, but maybe I'll save those for another time." (Photo by Javens, Inc.)

"I see the plot to this sorry tale continues to thicken like a bad Hollandaise sauce." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Well, well, former husband, forever alien to my heart, what on earth do you want with pretty Polly Perky?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton; concept by Lynda Hilton)

"I need your body, Captain Amoreda, and I need it BAD! Almost as badly as the Libertarian party needs a viable candidate!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton; concept by Lynda Hilton)

"Whoa! Awesome! I'm suddenly gorgeous little me again! But how do I get out of this alligator-infested swamp?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Want a piece of me NOW, Vladimir -- you pugnacious Siberian suzerain, you?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Great Peter the Great! My clever and cunning wife has outmaneuvered me on the Russian stock market. I've been hoisted by my own retractable!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I'm so glad we had our little chat about Vladimir, LuLu. You know, my favorite historic character has always been Catherine the Great."/"Really? Mine's always been Dag Hammarskjold." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"To hell with it! I'm going back to fundraising for Greenpeace! And while I've got your attention, would anybody out there be interested in Bear Stearns memorabilia?" (Cartoon by A.G. Oscard)