"Ah, woe is me!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I wouldn't grouse about it too much if I were you, Vartag. Consider my plight... (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

...I was exiled to a planet where gorgeous mastiff sentinels like this one guard me closely day and night...(Photo by J.M. Hilton)

...but the hellish part is, I've been turned into a rabbit in a world without lettuce or carrot patches -- or any eager does." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"He's right, you know? There's nothing much up here but a kudzu type of ground cover and trillions of gallons of oil." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Be still our hearts." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Wait a minute! Didn't you two get your start pushing snipe hunts on cable?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"What do you mean, will I take passengers?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"You're the Bluebird of Happiness? But you're an absolute mess!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Yeah? Well, you try being a %%!!***! bluebird these days, pal. I spent half the afternoon trying to talk three stockbrokers out of suicide. Sorry to be peckish about it, but I've had a @@@!!! of a time." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Jeesh! What a lousy gig. I'm glad I stuck it out at the seminary." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"If I kill you and eat you, will I get laughing gas?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)