RERUNS! RERUNS! "The Maltese Chew Toy," one of our golden oldies, begins here. (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

PARIS HILTON'S MENTOR? Socialite Paris Hilton and canine supermodel Lily Hilton would seem to share more than just a last name. Paris got out of jail for "rash behavior," and Lily has escaped a few choke collars on even flimsier excuses. Remember her addiction to whale meat? And when life truly becomes too much, our Lily usually gets kidnapped. Keep reading, Paris. Lily is there for you, feeling your pain and scratching your itch, so to speak, er, bark -- in our archives~ (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Don't forget all about us," says Mr. Muggs. "LDHD is on summer hiatus, but we'll be rerunning some of your favorite stories, starting with the MALTESE CHEW TOY above~ (Photo by J.M. Hilton)