Elizabeth Beagle. Attractive, clever, and a shade punctilious. (Photo by J.M. Hilton) 

PRIDE AND POOP by Jane Airedale

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that an unneutered male dog in possesion of a few bowsers, must be in want of a bitch.

The male himself, upon entering a neighborhood and sniffing out rigs and ricks, fence posts and doorsteps, may be unaware of the flutterings going on inside barns, stables and kennels, all caused by his very presence. But the above truth is so well fixed in the minds of all the local canines, that in some cases, he has been marked and claimed by a bitch whose private parts he has not yet been able to view, let alone sniff.

"My dear Ben," said Mrs. Beagle to her mate of long-standing one day, "have you heard that the Duchess of Avalon is soon to pay a visit to her dear cousin, Sir Bernard Dogorrel, our guardian and protector, possibly within the next few days?"

Her mate, who was busy gnawing upon a bone, replied that he had not.

"But she is," Mrs. Beagle, whose given name was Marjorie, persisted, "and she plans to bring along her top-of-the-line; mark! I said the very top-of-the line, my dear, pack of champion beagles. Can you not guess the reason why?"

"I assume they need a good run," responded her mate, without looking up from the ham bone he was masticating. "Since they live almost at the halfway point between here and Bath, those dogs ought to be ready to drop from exhaustion by the time they arrive in our yard."

Mrs. Beagle hopped off the bench upon which she had been resting her haunches, and began to impatiently paw at bits of straw, which were strewn across the stable floor. "Don't be so tiresome, Ben," she admonished. "You know quite as well as I do that we have between us three perfectly lovely and decidedly purebred beagle bitches. Well, how could they be anything but beagles, considering that we are of that breed, but what I meant to say was..."

STORY CONTINUED UNDER COMMENTS BELOW~

Jane Beagle. Sweet, considerate, modest, and horny. (Photo by J.M. Hilton) 

Lydia, the youngest of the Beagle girls. For some reason her dance card is always full. (Photo by J.M. Hilton) 

Despite her nervous disposition, Ben Beagle realizes that his mate is still a hottie. (Photo by J.M. Hilton) 

The Sade assures us that Morey the mutt's column will continue over the summer. But will things go well for Morey and his sidekick Woodrow? Only SHE knows. (Photo by Sarah Luttrell) 

Moxie the cavapoo, the new face of Sushi-Siam Dog Food. Buy a can at your supermarket today. Be sure to ask about the whale meat and wild rice special! (Photo by J.M. Hilton)