And now, an utterance from the dreaded Dow Bear: "Enjoy your weekend, suckahs!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"See! He's not all bad! In fact, I hear his PR rep is a lovable little panda who lives in China." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"It's Happy Hour aboard the pleasure craft, Oriental Princess~" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Oh, look, Michelle! All those little boats are flying the Jolly Roger. It must be some sort of reenactment." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Whoa! Rocket-propelled grenades? What kind of reenactment is that?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Sailing, Sailing...Over the Bounty Way..." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Winning a romantic cruise on the Oriental Princess was such a stroke of luck. I've got a feeling I'm finally going to meet Mr. Right!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I understand there are wenches aboard yon unprotected vessel heading in our direction, Captain Claw." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Did you say winches?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"WENCHES, sir! The old sea dog said WENCHES." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Oiii, Dog! This is going to be one long sea voyage." (Photo by Beth J.)

Meanwhile...."Then Red Riding Hood said to the Big Bad Wolf: 'OOOO, what a large bailout you got'....." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Heeeey there, boys and girls! Welcome to the Holiday Season, 2008. You may be feeling very sad right now because you no longer have a house to live in. Your family needs money BAD, and I'm here to help you. Have you ever thought about becoming a professional pickpocket? You choose the hours and you keep the cash! Just send $25 (much less than Daddy currently blows on booze and other mind-altering substances) to 'Santa's Little Helper,' ELF #87880, The North Pole, and I'll send you a 150-page instruction manual. From now until Thanksgiving, to prove the holiday spirit ain't as dead as Detroit, I'll even throw in a couple of bargain-basement copies of 'Oliver Twist' and 'The Christmas Carol.' That Scrooge now -- what a mark he would have made! Love ya~" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"This guy's about as inspirational as Gordon Gekko." (Photo by S. Jayne)

LDHD presents: A Moment In History -- "In November of 1620 a weary gaggle of wretched pilgrims landed on the cold shores of Plymouth, Massachusetts, because they were getting low on beer." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"A good thing they landed in Plymouth, then. There must be more Irish pubs in that burg than there are in the whole of County Cork." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Uhm, yeah. Rocks my Plymouth." (Photo by J.M. Hilton) Thank you for ignoring A Moment In History.