On a dark and stormy night, brilliant canine symbologist and part-time Bonemart photo-counter clerk, Robert Labrador (shown above), makes a startling discovery. (Photo by Beth J.)

When viewed through 3-D movie glasses from the 1950's, this charming picture of a one-time celebrity named Lily turns into....(Photo by J.M. Hilton)

....THIS! (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Great Dog!" declares Robert. "It's the All-Seeing Eye from the one-dollar bill! Lily is either the reincarnation of Mary Magdalene's pet marmoset, Willie, or she's the Anticanine!" (Photo by Beth J.)

Meanwhile: "I've got to get my teeth whitened and my ears permed before I start on the talk-show circuit again." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Greetings, swooning fans. Noah Blackstone here to bark hail and farewell!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Yes, it's true, my adoring public. I've been given a huge, albeit well-deserved, promotion. From now on Lincoln Park's favorite son will be reporting on major world events from THE Doghouse in the nation's capital. Now I ask you, am I too all that to gnaw my own bones, or what?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Noah's leaving? Oh, joy! The world is back on its axis! I'll be the star of the blog again!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Hello there! I'm Sally King-Charles, the hot-looking spaniel who's replacing Noah Blackstone on the local news." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"You hear about Lily? She's back in the clinic again!"/"Great pound puppies! What ghastly adversity has befallen the hapless creature this time?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Guess we'll have to watch the local news with Sally King-Charles to find out!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)