"I used to be the star of this blog! Everybody adored me! My name was a doghouse word, and the pack couldn't sniff enough of me!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"But ever since the Incident at Reichenbark Falls, my name has turned to cat barf. Some cur even started a vile rumor alleging I murdered my clone! When will this nightmare end? I want to feel the love of the pack again!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Hi-there, folks! Noah Blackstone here, handsome and irrepressible as ever! Say, want to have a good time and maybe bump off your clone in the process? Then phone Lily at 1-900-I-don't-care-what-you-say-about-me!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"He has GOT to go!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

Previously on LDHD: Hey, folks! Your old buddy Spencer here to...Say! Have you noticed how everybody's calling everyone else 'folks' these days? It's 'folks' this and 'folks' that..." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Forsooth...I think it sucks!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Forsooth? I won't say that again for a buck!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I always liked the late Milton Berle's line: 'Good evening, ladies and germs. Well, you know who you are.' You DO, right?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

The contestant who can chase down the most imaginary quarry and make a dog's breakfast out of his clients' investments in the shortest period of time will win the position of CEO at a government-takeover bank for a whole year! He or she will also get all their credit-card debts canceled up to a thousand bowsers -- and as an extra bonus prize, the lucky dog will receive a free Phido Phone Booth for his or her home, office, or prison cell. Where you gonna get a better deal than that, folks? I ask you!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Egad! Maybe from the government?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Hi-there, folks. Noah Blackstone here. No, wait a minute. Hi-there, FOLKS. Noah Blackstone here. Wait! Wait! Maybe I should make it a little less Lassie and more Richard Burton? Hi-there, folks. Noah Blackstone here...to be or not to be the hot new anchor for the local news? Dog! I am the best ME possible, no matter what I do. Does anyone have a paw mirror handy?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Well, that's a load off my stifles!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Mine, too!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)