"Remember our motto: 'You won't lose your nuts with us'"~ (Squirrel Bank, NA, is a member of the ITRA (International Tree Rodents Association.)(Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"A perfect paradise is Mount Olympus Doobye. And any mammal can live here -- so long as he's got a Golden Parachute, tons of oil stock, and a taste for the best the world has to offer. What's that? You can't have sex on the beach? Well, muzzle me and call me a chump. I'm going back to New Jersey!" (Photo by Beth J.)

"This island looks like the perfect place for me to hide my few remaining assets -- so long as I can remember where all the bones are buried." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I hear you made most of your fortune by short-pawing on The Street, Mr. Pugs."/"All part of my mystique, buddy. By the way, dug up any bones that aren't yours lately?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"By Dog! This is a heavenly place, Euphemia!"/"Oh, Lester, now I'm so glad you stole millions from all those widows and orphans." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Alas...for the very few something appears to be missing." (Photo by Stephanie J.)

"Occasionally I wish we hadn't ruined Wall Street, Mr. Hound."/"Guess you never know what you've got 'til it's gone, old son." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"As Halloween approaches, Lincoln Park prepares for the worst...." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"You want to start another panic at the Poochie Love Grooming Parlor this Halloween?"/"Yeah, yeah. But this time let's dress up as French Poodles first. I figure two clever coyotes like us can clear out the entire place in under five~" (Cartoon by A.G. Oscard)

"So Goldilocks says: 'Here's 700 billion for eating your porridge, breaking your chair, and soiling your sheets.' She says it real snotty-like, too, and we don't care for that. Anyhow, we killed her and ate her, even her bones. Dumb, dumb Goldilocks. Some people never learn." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"My uber progressive, blazingly SOTA media empire is in ruins! Only Polly Perky and Vladimir the Siberian can still rake in the bowsers for me!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"If things are that bad, Bert, why not accept a job offer from my new best friend, Empress Sophie?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"And work for a female? I have my standards, madam!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

Meanwhile...."You mindless mutts want to save Lincoln Park? Let's start off with martial law, and next you invade Georgia!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

INVADE GEORGIA? Any of you squirrel-brained Yankees want to try that one again, and we'll paw you your grits and your nuts for breakfast!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I deeply resent that damn remark by some mush-munching Dixie Dinmont!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"So do I, the ever clever Dash Rightpaw. I just found out Vladimir's making more bowsers than I am!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Oh me, oh my. I hope I gave Vladimir the Siberian the right advice about going into Talk Radio. But then of course I did! I'm Polly Perky and I'm never wrong! Invest in financials! No, no! I'm just testing you." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)