Private eye Snots Cluzo. Does he really have a clue? (Photo by J.M. Hilton) 

Blog hostess LuLu stars as the three very different Beagle sisters in her own version of Jane Airedale's lurid classic PRIDE&POOP. Read a new installment on 10/22. To enjoy our story in its entirety, please see 9/07/2006 and 17/09/2006 in our archives. (Photo by J.M. Hilton) 

PRIDE&POOP (cont'd)......

"Gardiner," called out Mr. Darcy, as the sun began to sink below the tops of the trees in the nearby woods, "with all due respect to the charming Miss Beagle, I do believe that a postponement might be in order."

"Oi 'ope so," piped up Mrs. Squiggle, the sow, underscoring her comment with a loud oink. "Oi'm all outta slops, an' it's lookin' ter rain."

"Jane appears exhausted," remarked Lizzie to Mr. Darcy. "Thank you for your consideration."

He perked his ears and gave her a disdainful glance. "I assure you, ma'am, I am not so much thinking of your sister's physical discomfort as I am my cousin's discomfit. He offered for the bitch, she accepted, and now she keeps him standing by the mating pen for hours while her humans are off doing Dog knows what, and to exacerbate matters even further, her tart of a sister has run off."

Lizzie swung about and bared her teeth. "How dare you?" she snarled. "What sort of insensitive hound are you, Mr. Darcy? As if Jane has any dominion over the actions of the humans up at the Hall! As for my younger sister -- she, whom you so easily disparage with a vile label, do you suppose we should be callous enough to simply dismiss her from our thoughts on an occasion like this one? You may have no feelings for your own sisters, but this is not, thank Dog, the case here." And with her head held high and her tail even higher, Jane pushed past him.

Story continued under "comments."