"Sadie, if you become the love slave of a northern Asian dictator, you'll lose any credibility as a serious journalist!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Since when do journalists need credibility? My crazed little marmoset and I are more coveted by the channels than a solvent banker by a financial district hooker!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Oh, how my heart cries out for the good old days!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Sadie's on the bowsers! We're already signed up for a spot on the Huzzah Network right after cage fighting!" (Cartoon by A.G. Oscard)

"Life can be so frustrating! My reality series with Bo Obama got canceled at the last minute and Bo's back in the doghouse at the White House. Now what am I supposed to do? LuLu won't let me report for her blog! And what kind of celebrity walks the streets? I need some help here!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Don't despair, Sadie! It's just possible that a crazed marmoset dictator from northern Asia might be able to help you out!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I want Lily back as my love slave! They say she vanished at Reichenbark Falls, but I don't believe them! They are keeping her from me, the psychiatrists with their clever games. But if they don't get her here at once, I'm going to bomb Tokyo! I mean it this time! I might also bomb Hong Kong, and maybe even take out Raffles Hotel in Singapore! I'm off the leash and off my meds!" (Cartoon by A.G. Oscard)

"Lily's currently not available, but I am...and what a great idea for a new reality series: an insane dictator meets a lovable mutt with the broad-shouldered approach of a young Joan Crawford!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)