"Happy Xmas, Mr. Scrooge. In life I was your mistress, Jayleen Marley..." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"This isn't the way I remember A Christmas Carol!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Here's a news flash! Tiny Tim is leaving the cast to run for senator from Illinois." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Here's the smell of goose poop still: all the dog shampoos of the Bark-In-Bubbles grooming salon will not sweeten these little paws!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton) Our apologies to William Shakespeare~

"Can it, Lady MacBeth! Santa, Inc., just filed for bankruptcy, and we're switching to A Christmas Carol in order to raise money for the reindeer." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"I understand Rudolph does a mean Melancholy Baby on his little tin drum." (Photo by S. Jayne)

"Just show me the lettuce." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

....and discovered you can't replace lettuce with plastic!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

"Oh, come on, Wall Street! I was right in the middle of salmon fishing! I'm phoning my part in this time. Really. I've had it!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)