From Polly Perky's advice column in Mammal Magazine: "Dear Tormented Endangered Species, I have several suggestions for you which may or may not involve eventual suicide. You could hire a PR mole to glorify your parched image, or you might consider going back to Russia with Vladimir the Siberian. You possess most of the vices he admires, and in a giving moment he could make you president of an oppressed province filled with babes and vodka. If all else fails, I would suggest that you steal somebody's identity and become part of the upcoming diplomatic mission demanded by Queen Ava of the Gummy Bear Galaxy. You strike me as vicious enough to keep her amused for a time, and who knows how far you can climb, especially without Vinnie and his cans of nerve gas? Best of luck always, Polly Perky"~