Kitty Illuminati? Chantilly Khat wants to be far, far more than a run-of-the-mousetrap superstar. (Photo by J.M. Hilton)
posted by LuLu @ 5:56 PM
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Kitty Illuminati? Chantilly Khat wants to be far, far more than a run-of-the-mousetrap superstar. (Photo by J.M. Hilton)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
About Me
- Name: LuLu
I am a single five-year-old female Beagle, shown here by myself, while my mix-up of a sister sings the praises of mutts on my blog. Well, let her. I have a most intriguing (one might even say lascivious) past, at least according to my autobiography. In a former lifetime I was Queen Elizabeth the Ist of England, and later on (among others) I was Nell Gwynn, Pauline Borghese, Louise Brooks, and eventually just lovable, neurotic, adorable ME. I have a perfectly charming, albeit very annoying, sister named Sadie. She's rarely plagued by conscience, possibly because she's a Sagittarius. To date she has attempted to steal most of my boyfriends, meaning we're quite used to fighting over bones. Sadie and I are the same age, although she's the adopted one. We do have a fair amount of things in common. For example, she was once Mary Queen of Scots, and later on both Barbara Villiers and Marlene Dietrich. Amazingly we get along -- at least when we're before the public~
Previous Posts
- Sister Bleu Girl is concerned when LuLu disappears...
- Lily searches for Spencer...but where has he gone?...
- Tonight... Dr. Daisy speaks her mind and a bunny d...
- Now that Moxie has become the Duke of Rothschild a...
- And what will Lily's reaction be? (Photo by J.M. H...
- All honeyed days of buzzing bees and cloudless ski...
- ...lead at last to bittersweet memories of sunlit ...
- Tonight...LuLu says good-bye to Rockie. (Photo by ...
- Another angry bunny puts in his three eggs worth. ...
- Never attempt to outsmart a cat, for you will only...
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Compliments of the Fly on the Wall...
Lester Lemming was in his cage -- curled up on his bed of headache-bush twigs, the curtains drawn tight, in his dank burrow beneath the front porch of the main house at his Cayman Islands compound.
Upstairs, his fair companion, Chantilly Khat, relished her leisure on silk sheets -- while mice bands entertained her, hoping to be spared the worst.
She sipped champagne and enjoyed all the perks of being a rich rodent's mistress -- although Lester spent less and less time with her these days, for bad dreams haunted him.
Last night he'd awakened thinking an ermine was loose in his burrow.
"I'm a German shepherd, I'm a German shepherd," he repeated to himself, just as his psychiatrist had suggested.
It hadn't worked.
Terrified, he'd alerted the canine guards, who snickered. He KNEW they'd snickered, although outwardly they groveled at his paws. He was petrified of ermines, as were all sensible lemmings.
"But Lester," Chantilly had purred, "I doubt you'll find too many of them hanging around the Caymans."
And she had almost sneered. He KNEW she'd been about to sneer. But she was a cat and kept her queenly cool -- always.
"Where is Lester?" Gwendolyn Monk, once known as Wendy the Chipmunk, asked Chantilly (AKA quite a few things once upon a time), as the two old friends reveled in a rare meeting of thieves.
"Downstairs, cowering in terror," the feline beauty replied. "Without his huge fortune, his army, his powerful friends, his access to nuclear weapons, his psychiatrist, and his ambition -- Lester really is a pathetic little putz."
She unsheathed her claws and tore a fine gauze curtain to pieces.
"Keeping in practice?" asked Gwendolyn, while filling her cheeks with gum balls and half a juicy beetle.
Chantilly yawned. "It frightens the mice. Keeps them in line."
"You always had a way with underlings," the chipmunk observed.
"You were born to rule the world, Chantilly."
"Well, I am a cat," the superstar commented, "and I'm so glad you're here, Wendy. It reminds me of the bad old days back in Belgrade."
Story continued below...
Story continued...
Gwendolyn tittered. "Oh, hardly! In those days we were running from the law. Now we are the law. Almost, I mean."
"Never fear," Chantilly assured her. "I have a paw in every pie and have promised Lester's army a T-bone in every bowl. And she who commands the army wins the goodies."
She tossed a catnip mouse into the air and swatted it across the room.
"My favorite toy," said she. "I call it Lester."
Gwendolyn tittered again.
Down in his burrow, Lester thought about how well the Boxer army was faring against King Rockie's forces out in some desolate part of the American West. Rockie was a fair-minded, decent king and Lester hated him for that. A good civil war ought to topple Good King Rockie from his throne -- and then, and then -- Lester's fevered brain danced with visions of invading armies and crumbling animal rights, of world domination, and of a little rodent wearing a golden crown.
He smiled. He was one lemming who had a lot to do before he jumped off a cliff.
Outside an elderly spaniel wearing a bonnet and granny glasses sniffed in the garden next to the porch. She had already caught sight of Chantilly and Gwendolyn, celebrating a coup they had yet to pull off.
Aunt Lucinda promptly turned herself into an ermine and moved inexorably toward Lester's burrow...
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