LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)

LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Lily searches for Spencer...but where has he gone? (Photo by J.M. Hilton)

posted by LuLu @ 11:47 PM 

3 Comments:

Blogger LuLu said...

The Eye On The Park...

Dateline Lincoln Park:

"Chester!" howled Lily, as she dashed past his fishy restaurant. "Chester, you're one of Spencer's spy buddies. Have you seen him lately?"

The handsome Russian lapped a soupcon of caviar out of a bowl he'd been sniffing while appearing to give the matter some thought.

"Not bad, not bad. But one sturgeon does not a menu make."

"Chester!" Lily thumped her feathery tail.

"Oh, forgive me, Lily, but I'm afraid I've got problems of my own."

"Where is SPENCER?"

"My beauteous bitch, I haven't the slightest idea. However, I understand that war is about to be declared, and since that crazy cavalier is still in the spy game, an educated guess tells me he's probably at the palace consulting with Sammy Chan."

"Sammy Chan? Why is he at the palace? He's only the attorney general."

"He's been promoted," woofed Chester. "He's currently prince pro temp. Silly the way the world works, isn't it?"

"Is it?" Lily wrinkled her furry brow for a brief moment, before recalling the dangers of her face freezing that way. "What happened to Good King Rockie?"

Chester lapped up a bit of caviar from another bowl. "Hmmm. Too salty," he pronounced, "but it will have to do."

Reluctantly, he cut his eyes back to Lily. "Didn't you hear what I said? We're going to war. The king has already left for the front."

"We are? He has?" Lily shook her delicate little head. "Oh, I keep forgetting to read MAMMAL magazine, and no dog under ten reads the newspapers these days. Has LuLu mentioned the war thingie on her blog? I mean, she and Rockie have always been as tight as the last Preakness Race -- or Donald Trump's toupee."

"I've noticed," commented Chester, who certainly had, and he allowed himself a sigh of sheer relief when Lily turned around and padded off toward the palace.

She was beautiful, but a little too "ditzy tsarina" for his tastes.

Maybe, he thought, it was time he paid the lovely LuLu a visit.

Story continued below...

1:21 AM  
Blogger LuLu said...

Story continued...

Meanwhile, Lily was thinking only about how lonely she was and how much she missed her former crate mate -- but when she got to the palace, Spencer was nowhere to be found.

"He's not here, honey," said Maddie Schnauzadoo, a local freelance hack, who was waiting patiently for a chance to tear the veracity of Prince Sammy's well-rehearsed remarks to shreds.

"Well, where is he then? Oh, I hate it when I have to wait for anything! I don't handle not getting my needs met at all well," Lily explained.

Maddie consulted her notes. "Let's see. Spencer gave me a brief interview this morning for an article I'm doing for the New Terrier Times. Right about now he should be boarding a government bird at Lincoln Park International. He's flying to the front to see King Rockie, or so he barked."

"Get me a limousine!" yelped Lily. "I've got to get to the airport before that bird takes off!"

Maddie consulted her paw watch. "Honey, you'll never make it."

"But I have to!" howled Lily. "You don't understand! Digby's gone, and so are Jade and Moxie. Aunt Lucinda's soul is still hanging around somewhere -- but who wants that? The Aunt Lucinda, who's really not Aunt Lucinda, took those two ghastly hyena cubs I adopted purely for the PR off with her -- and while I'm really happy they're gone, it means I'm all alone except for Dixie, and I trust her about as much as Taiwan trusts China -- or Disney World trusts their employees. You see, I..."

Maddie pawed her a cell phone.

"What's this for?"

"It's Spencer. Just arf hello and spare us both any further grief."

Story continued below...

1:35 AM  
Blogger LuLu said...

Story continued...

Lily barked into the phone. "Spencer? Spence? Oh, I'm so sorry for treating you like goose poop and not forgiving you for getting leash-locked to a chipmunk. I didn't know you were a spy, which makes you pretty hot, I guess, since bitches love outlaws. In fact, you're so hot, I'm willing to overlook your fetish for gold lame, which you must admit is kind of weird. Anyway, I love you, Spencer. Hello? Hello? Why is there so much static on this dumb, sucky, cheap phone? Hello, AT&T? Where are you?"

Maddie took her cell phone back. "I'm sorry, Lily, but I think he's already boarded the bird."

Lily began to howl with grief and rage, and finally she threw a full-scale hissy fit. Two Rottweiler guards picked her up and carried her outside, where they deposited her -- none too gently -- on the curb. "Call you a cab, ma'am?" one of them asked her.

"I've been called worse," Lily confessed, "but if you don't apologize this minute, I'll hold my breath until I pass out."

"Whoa!" woofed a passing rat terrier. "Will you look at that bird overhead? Is he going to try to land here?"

"Cover your heads!" barked the Rottwielers, darting for shelter. "The fallout's going to be on every car window in town!"

Lily watched as the bird gracefully landed in the middle of the huge courtyard just outside the palace -- and a red-haired spaniel climbed down off his back.

"Lily?"

"Spencer?"

The bird took off and the Rottweilers ran for cover again.

"Lily?"

"Spencer?"

"Oh, for Dog's sake, sniff her!" barked the rat terrier, who was a romantic at heart.

"I can go you one better," Spencer told him...and did.

Developing....

Maddie Schnauzadoo contributed to this story.

1:48 AM  

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