.JPG)
Now that Moxie has become the Duke of Rothschild and Roquefort, will he change his ways? (Photo by Erin Scott-Hayne)
posted by LuLu @ 10:57 PM
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Now that Moxie has become the Duke of Rothschild and Roquefort, will he change his ways? (Photo by Erin Scott-Hayne)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
About Me
- Name: LuLu
I am a single five-year-old female Beagle, shown here by myself, while my mix-up of a sister sings the praises of mutts on my blog. Well, let her. I have a most intriguing (one might even say lascivious) past, at least according to my autobiography. In a former lifetime I was Queen Elizabeth the Ist of England, and later on (among others) I was Nell Gwynn, Pauline Borghese, Louise Brooks, and eventually just lovable, neurotic, adorable ME. I have a perfectly charming, albeit very annoying, sister named Sadie. She's rarely plagued by conscience, possibly because she's a Sagittarius. To date she has attempted to steal most of my boyfriends, meaning we're quite used to fighting over bones. Sadie and I are the same age, although she's the adopted one. We do have a fair amount of things in common. For example, she was once Mary Queen of Scots, and later on both Barbara Villiers and Marlene Dietrich. Amazingly we get along -- at least when we're before the public~
Previous Posts
- And what will Lily's reaction be? (Photo by J.M. H...
- All honeyed days of buzzing bees and cloudless ski...
- ...lead at last to bittersweet memories of sunlit ...
- Tonight...LuLu says good-bye to Rockie. (Photo by ...
- Another angry bunny puts in his three eggs worth. ...
- Never attempt to outsmart a cat, for you will only...
- Arfing Eeek! What has this radio talk show host pr...
- LuLu finally has her sister Bleu Girl exactly wher...
- Meanwhile, Sammy Chan sews things up~ (Photo by J....
- A desperate Aunt Lucinda holds her niece hostage. ...
Subscribe to
Posts [Atom]
4 Comments:
Great Dane Jade Jardine sends an e-mail to her adoptive mother, Lily Hilton...
Belle Mere,
It is wonderful to be able to communicate with you again! First of all, I want to assure you that I am safe and well, and in France with my "brother," Moxie. In fact, it was he who rescued me from the savage army of Borzois who were sent out to kill me. He is such a wonderful dog, Mother. You should be proud to have such an awesome son!
I still cannot imagine that it was Aunt Lucinda Spaniel who tried to have me murdered. I have since heard that she also tried to kill you, her own niece. Incredible! And we never even sniffed it coming!
Granted, she was always a little odd, especially for a bitch of her great age. But murder, mayhem, planning a revolution? Evidently there was a lot more going on behind those granny glasses than we ever suspected.
I have some sad news to report, Belle Mere. Moxie's father, the Duke of Rothschild and Roquefort, is no more. Mere moments after Moxie's plane landed on its private landing strip outside of Paris, we were set upon by the rapacious hounds of the press.
"How does it feel to be a duke, Your Grace?" one of the reporters barked at Moxie, but since he speaks no French, he hadn't a clue what was going on. ("I don't know any Grace," he howled. "And don't tell me she was underage!")
I, on the other paw, caught the scent right away.
"Moxie," I said, "I think your father has died. Please accept my condolences."
He stared up at me. "You mean, I'm now the Duke of Rothschild and Roquefort?"
"It looks that way," I told him. "This must come as quite a shock."
"I'm really a DUKE? Wow. One step higher and I'd be a king, right?"
I pawed him on the shoulder. "Maybe a little less tail-wagging while the cameras are on you?" I suggested.
Story continued below...
Story continued...
Another country was suddenly heard from in the form of Daphne, the Yorkie flight attendant. "I have all the ghastly details," she yipped, darting rudely between my legs to reach my overwhelmed brother.
"His Grace was chasing his lawyer, that Monique du Wheaton, along a TGV track after a wild night of drinking wine and vomiting truffles," she related gleefully. "The train came speeding along the track, and..."
I winced. "Those trains can reach speeds of two-hundred miles per hour!"
"At least it was fast," said Moxie. "Holy Honkers! I'm really a duke, huh?"
"Oh, His Grace wasn't struck by the train, Your Grace," the forward bitch protested. "He jumped off the track in time to avoid it -- and found himself facing down Monique's OTHER lover."
"Well," said Moxie, "I've got to paw it to the old dog. He was eight if he was a day. Guess it had to do with him being French."
"Monique was seeing an Alsatian military dog on the side," Daphne explained, her very topknot twitching with self-important delight.
"A what?" Moxie asked her.
"A German Shepherd," I translated.
"It's always the bloody Germans!" Daphne snarled, and looked me over from muzzle to tail. "Wait a moment! Aren't the Danes and the Germans closely related?"
Story continued below...
Story continued...
I put my forepaw on her silky little tail and kept it there. "We'll have no more of your insinuations, my girl. Now get back to the plane and see to our passenger, or I'll give you a shaking you won't soon forget!"
She was outraged. "You want ME to care for that gormless rodent?"
"Marsupial," I corrected her, "and, yes, I do. NOW."
She flounced off, and Moxie rubbed his head against my knees. "You are quite a ballsy bitch when you want to be, Jade, and you bark in fluent French, don't you?"
I nodded. "Je parle la langue..." I caught his blank expression and switched back to English. "I bark the language like a native poodle," I assured him. "I used to work at a perfume factory in Grasse."
"In the grass?"
I sighed. We had serious work to do!
"Moxie," I said, "since I bark such good French and I am a member of your immediate family, why don't I sort of hang around for a while and help you get the hang of this duke thing?"
He blinked, wagged his tail, gave the high sign to the reporters, and led me to a waiting limo.
"Cool idea, Jade," he said. "You know, you kind of have the look of a genuine duchess."
I believe I actually blushed!
While I am here, Belle Mere, I will revisit the perfume factory in Grasse and find some lovely new scents for you. My nose is all better and I am eager to get back to work!
In the meantime, much love from two of your puppies, and I personally send my love on to Digby, wherever he might be.
Jade~
Story continued below...
Story continued...
Lily Hilton stared into her computer screen, and felt a howl of hot despair build up inside her.
She had been so young when she'd had her brief fling with the handsome Duke of Rothschild and Roquefort.
She hadn't wanted the puppy who was born as a result of that affair, and she'd given him to the gypsies to raise.
Now Jade and Moxie were gone -- and so was her adopted son, Digby, who just happened to be a demon.
Lily was all alone.
She had even rejected the love of her life.
She had rejected Spencer!
Lady Dixie Simba looked up from the set of books she was cooking.
"Going out, Lily?" she asked, but her business partner ignored her.
Lily's head was spinning and her paws felt like rubber...but one thought consumed her.
She HAD to find him.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home