Lovers LuLu and King Rockie reconnect in snowy Lincoln Park~ (Photo by J.M. Hilton) 
posted by LuLu @ 11:35 PM
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
Friday, February 23, 2007
Lovers LuLu and King Rockie reconnect in snowy Lincoln Park~ (Photo by J.M. Hilton)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
About Me
- Name: LuLu
I am a single five-year-old female Beagle, shown here by myself, while my mix-up of a sister sings the praises of mutts on my blog. Well, let her. I have a most intriguing (one might even say lascivious) past, at least according to my autobiography. In a former lifetime I was Queen Elizabeth the Ist of England, and later on (among others) I was Nell Gwynn, Pauline Borghese, Louise Brooks, and eventually just lovable, neurotic, adorable ME. I have a perfectly charming, albeit very annoying, sister named Sadie. She's rarely plagued by conscience, possibly because she's a Sagittarius. To date she has attempted to steal most of my boyfriends, meaning we're quite used to fighting over bones. Sadie and I are the same age, although she's the adopted one. We do have a fair amount of things in common. For example, she was once Mary Queen of Scots, and later on both Barbara Villiers and Marlene Dietrich. Amazingly we get along -- at least when we're before the public~
Previous Posts
- Read the latest installment of Morey the Mutt. So...
- Moxie waits for a shuttle bus at Port Lincoln Par...
- Suzy Wong Chan arrives in Lincoln Park in time to...
- ...and friend Itza Hogg says -- "Just consider me...
- Sammy Chan's grandmother adds some unwelcome stre...
- Pretty blue-eyed Sydney arrives in town to help h...
- ...but will Senator Paco be joining her? (Photo b...
- Exorcised, bathed, and groomed -- what more does ...
- LuLu also wonders who's going to hold her paw. (P...
- Tonight! Morey and his friends continue to enjoy ...
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Dateline Lincoln Park:
Well! And we thought the party was over. But it would seem that longtime loves LuLu and King Rockie are back at it! That codependent pair of patrician hounds was once again the most visible set of lovers in Lincoln Park this afternoon -- roaming through the snowdrifts together, nipping, sniffing, licking -- and Rockie has discovered a way to give new meaning to the old term "neck."
Pals Maggie Cocker, Shamus O'Toole, and Benji Brown were all agog as the king and his lady threw caution to the sleet and got down and dirty in the white stuff.
Even the local mallards and a visiting goose from the north were impressed. "Our dogs up in Canada are far more conservative," observed the goose (actually a gander), who said he was from Montreal. "And that's in spite of the French connection."
Developing...
Good for Rockie and Lu! I saw them over in the park today, and they were thrilled to see each another.
Must be a fire sale for me to be the first up on the blog. That is an old picture of Rockie and Lulu. Are they really together again?
They probably are. They always seemed very devoted to each other. For real.
It's nice to know they aren't typical fitional characters.
Oh, I assure you that Rockie and Lulu are real, Jean. I live in Lincoln Park and know both of them.
They are two beautiful dogs who seem to be very caring toward each other. Lily and Spencer are also real, and they are cratemates.Only "some" of this is made up.
All this time you thought Lulu and Rockie were fictional, Jean? Are you sure you aren't fictional?
Whatever she is, looks like Jean has a date, J. Do u?
Guess he does.
I'm free, Sandy.
I charge.
How much?
You'll have to marry me, Jumbret.
But only if you get him pregnant, Bret. HAHAHA.
To getting Yogi pregnant?
It's not bad out, Mollie. It was pretty terrible this morning, but now everything is melting.
The picture of Moxie is hilarious.
We are about to get clobbered here in RI. KKB, Moxie looks miserable! He looks like he's lost in the Yukon.
I agree with KKB. I bet Moxie rubbed his face in the snow the way dogs do, and he was surprised cause it was so cold. My dogs do that. He was having fun when this pix was taken.
And then he crapped in the middle of his snow angel?
You're a born romantic, aren't you, Jay?
"Life is an old man carrying flowers on his head."
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Thank you, Firbawl. Your opinion means a great deal to me. What was your name again?
Dateline Lincoln Park:
So it was Oscar night in Tinsel Town. Oscar, Schmosker. In Lincoln Park the real action took place at a pre-Oscar party thrown by none other than former Hollywood uber agent, Gwendolyn Monk, spouse of Spencer Hilton.
Estranged spouse from the bark of it.
When his onetime cratemate and longtime love, supermodel Lily Hilton, showed up outside Poppa Poochie's, a fave hangout for local celebs, wannabes, and a motley crew of yippy mutts, Spencer left his Chipmunk chippie stranded in the snow, while he bolted across the parking lot and Dr. Zhivagoed Lily just as she was padding out of her limousine.
"You are The Queen of my heart!" he declared, and went for her neck.
Lily's adopted son, Digby the demon, held off panting and gawking mobs of sightseers (along with two of Lily's hefty Rottweiler bodyguards), while Spencer gave the beautiful bitch a neck bite to be remembered From Here to Eternity.
He then cast himself at her paws, and howled the theme from the Dogfather.
"I've never seen anything like it," remarked Princess Doily, a four-month-old Jack Russell. "Of course, at sixteen weeks, I haven't had a lot of hot carnal experience. But I have seen Gone With the Wind, and that neck bite revved my motor almost as much as Rhett Beagle's march up the staircase with Scarlett Otterhound in his forepaws."
"I've never HEARD anything like it," commented Aki, a five-month-old Lab. "He sounded like Melissa Etheridge with laryngitis."
"I thought Spencer's grand gesture was lovely," opined Buck, a Rottweiler mix. "I'm a sentimental kind of guy, and I'd like to see that dog get his bitch back. My favorite movie of all time is An Affair to Remember. It didn't win an Oscar for best picture, but it should have. Cary Greyhound was wonderful as the reformed playpup, and I yelped my eyes out when Deborah Cur got whacked by a car in front of the Empire State Building."
Story continued below....
Story continued...
"Lily leads such a fascinating life," gushed Mindy, a three-year-old Dachshund. "She gets kidnapped by royalty, possessed by a handsome demon, and now she's got Spencer vowing his undying love for her. I wish my life could be more like that."
"What do you mean?" asked her companion, a slightly older hound blend named Candy. "Remember the time you got stalked by your Cousin Vinny's weird friend?"
"The one with the retractable leash fetish? Oh, right. Like he was a real Oscar winner!"
Leaving the party at Poppa Poochie's behind them, Lily and Spencer got into her limo, and without so much as a backward snuffle, drove off into the sunset.
"It's so beautiful...so Hollywood," sighed Princess Doily, nipping a startled Buck, who nonetheless got into the play position pronto.
Time to run the credits?
Well, yeah, save for the little matter of a spurned chipmunk, seen, as it happens, shortly thereafter, skittering across the snow, heading for the airport.
"No planes are taking off tonight," Ms. Monk was informed by PLPI personnel, but Ms. Monk would not take no for an answer.
"She made a call on her cell, and then took off on the back of Hyacinth the Goose," an airport official told us, as we thumped into the terminal in our snowshoes. "The attorney general has sent the Lincoln Park Air Force after her."
WHAT?!
"Something to do with pear blossoms," she said.
Wow. Gwendolyn Monk must be feeling as low as Leonardo DiCaprio about now.
You think?
Developing.....
(By the way, thank you, Hollywood, for everything~)
Great Pix! Moxie is having a great time in the snow! We are proud that U R our kind of dogs! Let it snow! All right?
I liked your tribute to Hollywood and I thot about Lily when I watched the Oscars last night. I almost expected to see her there!
Lily wasn't there?
Yes, she was sitting right behind Beyonce. Lol=L.
I saw her! I saw her! Spencer was with her, right? Holding her little paw.
Right, and Ellen had her picture taken with both of them.
Hooray for Doggywood~
Lily is a wonderful actress. How good she is being in that snow picture. I nominate Lily for an Academy Award.
My favorite movie was Four Whelpings and a Field Trial.
There is always Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf. Too easy?
There's always The Cairn Mutiny, but it didn't win an Oscar. How about The Silence of the Lhasas?
Better yet, how about we shelf this nonsense?
I'm glad that chipmunk is gone.
She will be back, Jean. It will Happen One Night.
Why do I feel like a Cat On a Hot Tin Roof?
Are you a cat on a hot tin roof, Honker? You must not live in the midsection of the country if you are.
Doesn't Yogibare have a cat named Honker? I am starting a campaign to PLEASE BRING BACK SHAMUS. Please!
Maybe you need to talk to somebody, Cathy.
I am talking to someone! While we're at it, where is Monica. She made a brief reappearance but now she's gone.
It's a story, Cathy, and the characters will come and go. But don't worry. Monica is a good character, meaning she's bound to show up again sometime soon.
Shamus used to be my favorite character, but now I find Jade Jardine interesting and some of the other newer ones.
I like Dr. Daisy.
Dr. Daisy! They are all fun. I know Lulu and she is a pretty beagle.
Lily is the star of the blog.
I am my favorite character on the blog.
Like that's a big surprise!
Who's your favorite character, Jean?
That was a wasted effort.
It's probably the Sade.
Isn't that your favorite character, Bare?
No, Ken is.
Bare, you need a long vacation.
We need a contest to see who is most popular.
No, we don't.
I had to laugh at Yogi's posting. Ken is a character!
Isn't he calling himself Peyton now?
Kingsley, wasn't it?
Is Ken the crazy man?
That is one way to put it.
Ken is a Jack Russell terrier who ate too much of his owner's stash.
From what I understand, he's on a number of blogs, saying goofy things.
That could be almost anybody.
Does Ken's dog 'Feloney' follow him from blog to blog?
Isn't his dog's name Carlot?
Ken has two dogs. There is Feloney and there is Carlot.
I feel like a starlit.
Don't let it go to your head.
Dateline Lincoln Park:
Poppa Poochie's was full-up tonight, as March roared in like a lion cub, and a world-famous set of whiskers, connected to the muzzle of a top celebrity dog, caught the attention of one of the barmaids, a 'bitch incognito' for LuLu's blog...
"Hi, bang 'em and shag 'em," I said, plopping my tush down on a stool next to the one Moxie Rothschild and Roquefort was spinning himself around on. "I was waiting for the dog of my dreams, but you blew him right off the blanket."
"That's a terrible pickup line," Moxie informed me. "Besides, you're too cute to be the pickerupper instead of the pickeree, or you would be if you got a decent haircut. It's not often that you see a Bichon Frise with a mohawk."
"I'm not exactly a slave to fashion," I admitted. "You here alone?"
"He came here to meet me," said a deep canine voice, and I turned to find myself facing the bedroom eyes of Spencer Hilton, former cratemate of Lily, and the current husband of Hollywood agent and Lincoln Park fugitive, Gwendolyn Monk.
"Sorry," I apologized. "I didn't realize you two had a thing going. Believe me, I won't say a word to the National Nose, not even if the editor of that tabloid offers me a million bowsers."
"We're not having an affair," snapped Spencer. "Moxie is my stepson, in a manner of barking."
"So sorry," I apologized again with all the sincerity of an Oscar winner reading from her notes, and padded down to the end of the bar, where I shamelessly eavesdropped on the rest of their conversation.
"So you're the mutt my mother used to live with?" said Moxie. "You don't look like much to me."
"And you're Lily's whelp by a French duke?" growled Spencer. "I might say the same for you, kid."
They both ordered dogwood juice and tonic water. No ice cubes. Al dente.
Story continued below....
Story continued...
"Let's not argue," said Moxie, after a few potent sips. "Have you got any idea why my mother hates me so much?"
"I don't think she hates you at all," Spencer told him. "She never even mentions you."
Moxie lapped his dogwood juice. "That's even worse."
"Well, how about me?" arfed Spencer. "I'm nuts about Lily. I realize I've done some pretty stupid things to screw up our relationship, like getting a sex-change operation, although that was only pretend - running off to become a movie star, and not emailing her for over a year. But we're all entitled to a few mistakes."
"Aren't you tether-tied to Gwendolyn Monk?" Moxie asked him.
Spencer inhaled his bowl of dogwood juice and ordered another one. "I'm going to try to get out of that mess as fast as possible. She's a chipmunk, for Dog's sake! I don't know what came over me. Anyway, she's fled the area. With any luck, I'll find her name on a road-kill list."
"You're a sensitive kind of spaniel, aren't you?"
"Listen, kid, I've seen too much in my time to be sensitive. I poured my heart out to your mother the other night, but when we got back to her place, she kicked me out of the pen. She's not willing to forgive me, you see?"
"You she won't forgive and me she can't remember," sighed Moxie.
For a moment I lost the thread of their conversation, because the fat mutt who's the new bartender tried to look up under my tail and I snapped at him.
"That'll cost you in tips, girlie."
"Not if I tell everyone who reads LuLu's blog that you're a deer tick carrier, creep."
He growled but padded off to mangle a martini bone.
The door opened and that cute Sammy Chan, Lincoln Park's new attorney general, padded in looking lower than Wednesday's stock market.
"I'll have two of what these gentlemen are having," Sammy told the fat mutt.
"You looked like a whipped human," observed Moxie.
"My grandmother's in town," said Sammy.
Spencer looked him over curiously. "So what's wrong with that? Grannys are fun to hang out with aren't they?"
Sammy Chan rolled his large, dark Pekingese eyes. "I would rather spend time with the Maine Monster Dog."
"Hey!" I barked. "You're in luck. The Maine Monster Dog's got his muzzle plastered on You Tube." (OK, I know; I look for love in all the wrong places.)
The three males ignored me.
The fat mutt sidled over. "I'm telling you, doll dog, a bitch wears her hair like you do and has a prong collar tattooed on her rump, she ain't gonna get a lotta offers from yippie males."
"Eat cat puke and die," I tell him. Like I'm going to get a tattoo of a gentle lead or something?
Developing --- maybe something with Sammy Chan? A Bichon and a Pekingese? Not a bad combo. And I MIGHT let my hair grow out a little.
Moxie is starting to seduce me!
Well tell him to stop it. LOL
Moxie is adorable. He shares Lily's colors.
Do you think Moxie would look at a police dog?
Why not? Although he seems to have his share of problems. Can dogs have baggage?
Why not? Dogs have little tote bags.
He got too much in his pet carrier?
Poor Moxie. Girls don't seem to like a dog with baggage.
I don't know. What if it's Hermes?
What do they see in u?
A pentdoghouse in Chicago and a quaint burrow in New Mexico.
The hounds on this blog are so full of it!
I'm all set to see Spencer!
Spencer looked so cute!
I wish I'd seen him. Hey, Jumbret, I'll believe your penthouse and your all that. Did u win some money from the kennel clearing house? LOL.
Congratulations, Spencer. We were on TV here last year for our outfits. It was fun!
Spencer was on television?
I saw Spencer. It was a picture that had been up on the blog.
Spencer is going from being a blog star to being a TV star?
So it would seem. Maybe he will get his own cable show.
No! We don't want to see Lily become another Anna Nicole.
I hear she is being buried in pink.
Lily?
Oh, don't be such a dipstick!
I was going to say douche bag!
Thanks, ladies. I get called the nicest things.
It's because they love u so.
Yeah, I'm an icon.
I'd say more like a menace, or is that Ken's job?
Hey, bro -- sometimes you seem cool and then you go off. It's cool if your on meds or drunk, but I'm worried it's your personality.
I'm worried that Yogibare might be on E-Harmony.
You think he might be your match?
You're either deep or dipping your tongue in antifreeze, See.
The star is here.
Well, twinkle, twinkle.
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