Chester Samoyed is charming, accomplished and musical. But just who is this Russian guy?(Photo by J.M. Hilton)
posted by LuLu @ 12:00 AM
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Chester Samoyed is charming, accomplished and musical. But just who is this Russian guy?(Photo by J.M. Hilton)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
About Me
- Name: LuLu
I am a single five-year-old female Beagle, shown here by myself, while my mix-up of a sister sings the praises of mutts on my blog. Well, let her. I have a most intriguing (one might even say lascivious) past, at least according to my autobiography. In a former lifetime I was Queen Elizabeth the Ist of England, and later on (among others) I was Nell Gwynn, Pauline Borghese, Louise Brooks, and eventually just lovable, neurotic, adorable ME. I have a perfectly charming, albeit very annoying, sister named Sadie. She's rarely plagued by conscience, possibly because she's a Sagittarius. To date she has attempted to steal most of my boyfriends, meaning we're quite used to fighting over bones. Sadie and I are the same age, although she's the adopted one. We do have a fair amount of things in common. For example, she was once Mary Queen of Scots, and later on both Barbara Villiers and Marlene Dietrich. Amazingly we get along -- at least when we're before the public~
Previous Posts
- "It's still you, babe!" Rockie and LuLu make a ho...
- Sammy Chan smells something fishy! (Photo by J.M. ...
- Spencer finally returns to Lincoln Park, bringing ...
- Morey's back on a new night! Catch his column ever...
- Jade Jardine finally gets to meet the family. (Pho...
- Now that she's back from Nepal (via Paris) will li...
- As winter begins in Lincoln Park, Chester Samoyed,...
- Rush and Randhi are also back in Lincoln Park and ...
- And LuLu might be about to find herself stuck betw...
- Moxie is named the "Sexiest Dog Alive" by Mammal M...
Subscribe to
Posts [Atom]
88 Comments:
The Eye On The Park...
Dateline Lincoln Park:
Half the park turned out for the grand opening on New Year's Day of Chester's Gulag, a new Siberian-style restaurant owned and managed by handsome Russian newcomer, Chester Samoyed, who is also an accomplished musician.
While the other half stared and drooled, Lincoln Park's solvent elite slurped and gulped their way through a feast fit for a best-of-show winner at Westminster. And dogs and cats alike raved about the cuisine.
On the menu: fish, fish, fish -- and more fish. "Oh, it's just deeleesh!" purrclaimed Mariah Abyssinian, owner of Glitter Retractables, a feline nail boutique. "Let me tell you, the imported Russian caviar is to kill something for!"
"Our tongue rings don't us'ly get filled up with fish eggs," commented Rush the coyote, "but this moogoo is feelin' fine."
"Tastes good, too," added his partner Randhi.
"The imported caviar must cost a fortune," opined Lady Dixie Simba, who actually showed up at the restaurant with her estranged husband, Lord (General) Mondo Simba.
"We're not exactly estranged," the Cocker peer insisted. "We just got off to a bad start at the reception."
He too made comment on the imported caviar. "Surprisingly inexpensive. I really don't know how that Samoyed fellow does it."
The Samoyed in question padded through the restaurant, which is quaintly divided into tiny prison-like cells in a large "dungeon" room, strumming on his balalaika; while LuLu the beagle acted the part of chanteuse, barking such old Siberian folk ballads as: "Don't Let the Wolves Catch and Eat Me" and "Chilblains Always Make Me Cry."
"LuLu looks pensive," remarked Lady Dixie (AKA the Asp). "She doesn't know whether to stick with King Rockie or roll over for Chester. Poor little slut!"
(King Rockie, as it happens, was unable to attend the festivities because of a prior engagement at a Canine Monarchs' convention somewhere west of the Rockies.)
Aunt Lucinda the spaniel out drank most of the studs in the room, before paw-wrestling the head waiter for an extra bowl of caviar. She and Chester Samoyed climaxed the evening by doing a dirty doggy dance version of the famous Cossack Sword Dance, while patrons barked, meowed, yowled, and howled their intemperate approval.
Conspicuously absent was Lily Hilton, international supermodel and self-proclaimed Dogdess. Her former crate-mate, Spencer, attended the fishy feast with his new mate, Hollywood uber agent, Gwendolyn Monk. The sassy little chipmunk rubbed salt in Lily's paws by wearing her rival's signature perfume, "Naughty North BimBim Nights."
Spencer Hilton's missus was also wearing a stunning gold lame outfit from Stardogs of Beverly Hills, much to the chagrin of Lady Dixie, who was clad in a more subdued (and rather dated) sweater dress from RichMutts of London.
"You and Spencer have quite a past," we pointed out to Gwennie just for the bark of it. "You once accused him of groping you, sued him, and in many respects started all of the trouble he's gone through in the past year or more."
Ms. Monk responded by biting us, then rubbed noses with her fish-gut-sucking mate. "I've always been attracted to Spencer," she revealed. "As for what happened in the past -- why, that was only foreplay."
Really? Hmmm. Maybe 2007 will turn out to be an interesting year after all.
Developing....
Siberia sounds good to us! We hate this global warming winter and want to see a heavy snowfall. We may have to move to Colorado!
You two must REALLY REALLY like snow. I was raised in Maine and miss it sometimes, but getting isolated by winter snow can be scary.
I'LL BE HAPPY TO SEND YOU A TON OF SNOW, DEUCE&FIVER. THERE MUST BE A TON AT THE END OF MY DRIVEWAY, AND ANOTHER TON ON TOP OF THE DOGHOUSE. I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO BACK OUT MY CAR FOR A WEEK!
Give me the Bahamas, Costa Rica, Bermuda, etc. Even Florida will do in a pinch. LOL. Things must be awful for you out in Kansas, Monty. Your dogs must be wearing snow shoes.
Good news, evidently. It has stopped snowing in Lincoln Park.
I would like to see some snow. I want to play in it & bury my sisters in it. (giggle)
You don't mean permanently, I hope.
I LUV that picture of Chester Samayed. He is another GLAMORPUSS DOG from Lincoln Park.
Isn't GLAMORPUSS sort of a contradiction in terms, Jean? Er...Chester IS a dog.
Jean is a contradiction in terms.
Anything to get a rise out of u, KKB.
My favorite dog is the sussex spaniel, and while I have yet to see a picture of one on your blog, I am quite pleased with your recent choices. However, I feel you are slightly top heavy with spaniels of the currently popular cavalier variety. This is not a criticism! However, I would like to occasionally see other types of spaniels.
Watch it, Keith, or Aunt Lucinda will get you!
I like Aunt Lucinda, she reminds me of my grandmother.
Go mama!
Nana was a ninja, bare? Hope she didn't potty train you, bro.
OUCH!
We are supposed to get snow tomorrow but it's to be mixed with rain. REAL snow this weekend and we are looking forward to it. We moved here for the snow and cold weather and all the winter sports.
Idyllic Lincoln Park suits me fine, D&F. I'm a big old chow chow who is too lazy to handle a lot of ice and snow. My coat gets wet and matted and I am miserable.
Do dogs like Chester get matted coats? Don't they pull sleds and things?
Samies? Yes, they are Siberian sled dogs. Beautiful, aren't they?
Samies? I've never heard them called that. They are proud looking animals. But a Samoyed and a Beagle? Poor Lulu!
You're in luck, KKB. It so happens I'm a Samoyed!
J, your pickup lines are the worst I have ever heard. Time to get neutered, honey.
I'm surprised you've heard any.
Jeans seems to have picked up her bones and left. Arf.
I don't want to get kicked off the blog again. One thing I know for sure is that KKB will never go out with you, J. You're too creepy and way too obvious.
Jean feeling kind of hangdog?
The Samoyed is the dog of choice of Siberian fishermen. The dogs are friendly and loyal. Jean? LuLu?
Happy New Year!
From the Files of Attorney General Sammy Chan:
"Es-ce que vous me comprenez quand je vous parle?" the Great Dane, Jade Jardine, better known as the 'Norse Nose' -- asked my girlfriend Chewy, as we lay sprawled on the grass at Lincoln Park beach, directly in front of the Church of Lily, where NN lives and works.
"Si...vous...parliez lentement..." Chewy responded hesitantly. "You will have to speak more slowly, Jade. Oh, I just don't have an ear for languages! And Sammy can bark in more than ten."
I heaved an inward sigh. I don't understand why Chewy feels such a strong need to compete with me. I like my little Maltese exactly the way she is, which is charming and adorable, bright as a brand new dog license, and cuddly as a feather pillow after a long day at the office. Does this make me a chauvinist Peke?
Considering the look of condemnation I received from my beloved, who seems capable of reading my thoughts, it does.
"I speak only French and English," said the Nose, coming to my rescue whether she meant to or not. "My Danish is nonexistent, even though I was born in Denmark, right on the Baltic coast"
She raised her head and took a deep breath. "I was discovered to be a 'nose' when I was only three months old, and sent to France to work in a perfume factory. I was set to work sniffing out flower petal combinations, and by the time I was six months old, I was raised to the rank of full professional."
"That is so romantic!" gushed my envious little Maltese.
Jade barked a laugh. "Not really. Instead it was a lot of hard work." She sniffed the air again. "Something is different about the water," she said. "The water or what's in it."
My ears perked. "What do you mean, Jade? What do you smell?"
The Nose looked confused. "I'm not sure, Sam, but if I had to make a guess, I would say there are different fish in the water. It doesn't smell the way it used to when I first arrived here."
"Different fish?" Chewy dug her paws into the wet mud in front of her. "That reminds me -- I wanted to go to the opening of Chester's Gulag, the new fish place, but Sam was too busy to take me." She glanced my way and pouted.
She has a delicious little pout.
"Oh, dear. All work and no play make Sam a dull dog?" teased the Nose. "Look at it this way, Chewy -- at least you've got a boyfriend."
"And you don't?" I couldn't help but ask her.
Jade Jardine is one exceptionally good-looking Great Dane. If I were a larger dog and didn't have strong feelings for Chewy, I just might be howling outside her window whenever my work load wasn't too heavy.
The Nose turned demure. "Well, I haven't been here for very long, and I have to help Mother and Aunt Dixie with their cosmetics business."
My thoughts turned to other matters. "How are things going with Aunt Lucinda's school?" I asked her. "Since she took over the rearing of those hyena cubs, the LPPD has been getting a lot less calls." (Not that a military school and boot camp will likely prove any asset to the community.)
"Oh, let's not bother with such boring stuff," said Chewy. "I want to know how Lily is doing. Is she coping at all now that Spencer's married to the chipmunk? I understand the little chippie even wore some of Lily's signature perfume to the opening of Chester's restaurant."
For a moment NN looked sad, but then she is a melancholy Dane. "Oh, well," she said, "you know Aunt Dixie. I didn't want to sell the perfume to Ms. Monk, but Aunt Dixie says that a bowser is a bowser -- and Ms. Monk bought two gallons worth."
I noticed she did not actually answer Chewy's question.
"Regarding the way the lake smells..." I began again, but Chewy nudged me with a paw.
"Sammy, it's time for my cute puppy tricks class, and then I've got my Tai Kwon Do lesson. Will you walk me over to the canine center?"
It was a request I couldn't very well refuse.
But as we padded away from the beach, I looked back to see the Nose walking toward the lake and sniffing the air in earnest, while off in the trees a solitary figure stood watching.
NB!
Can I make a request? Please bring back Shamus and don't make Chester a bad dog. This isn't CSI and I like him!
Something tells me Shamus will eventually be back, Cathy. Meanwhile try to enjoy the story. I'm glad the big dogs are getting into the act. We have had Dacia and Rockie and Prince Paco, but mostly it's the small dogs who rule.
Wait a minute! Rockie is a great big lab and he's the king. I'll grant you, Lulu and Lily seem to pretty much monopolize the blog, but it's their blog, isnt it?
Personally I would like to see more pugs featured. I HEART pugs!
Oh, pugs RULE.
Rule what? What's the slam about CSI, Cathy? It's one of my favorite programs.
She wasn't slamming the program, Jean. She was comparing story lines. In CSI a "good" character often turns out to be the villain. Cathy doesn't want Chester to turn out like that.
However Chester turns out, he wins my vote for "leading man" and then some.
Jean likes CSI? Makes my hackles rise!
Oh, get an existence, J!
Are U 2 at it again? This is like listening to Trump and Rosie O'Donnell, or Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. I thought this blog was about dogs.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Enough already. And if you think we're acting like a bunch of Nazis, live with it...or just go to another blog.
The blog gnomes ride again.
Jumbret, you've got a way with words.
I get away with words.
Jumbret is my brother.
U brothers want a TON&A HALF of SNOW. WE HAVE GOT A MAJOR SNOWFALL IN ALASKA!
For some strange reason, Iddy, that will come as no surprise to anyone.
Oh, happy day. I'm the first one on the blog? If the rest of the crowd has Lincoln Park's weather, it's no wonder!
Good morning, Mollie. It's soggy and damp where I am too. Very strange weather all across the country. Poor Deuce and Fiver! Their hearts must be broken.
Thank u, KKB, but we'll be just fine. We are supposed to get snow this weekend and all of next week!
Excuse me, D&F, I had some work to take care of. That's wonderful about the snow, at least for you.
I would just as soon stick with tropical beaches and sand, but we all know you two love snow.
If it's not snowing in Minnesota in Jenuary, something is wrong!
You like the tropics, Kabby? What a coincidence! I live in Key West.
U do not!
I swear by Chester's nostril!
J, I thot you said u lived in Tennessee or Arizona.
Tennessee or Arizona? Maybe he commutes?
Jay suddenly changed his name for no particular reason which makes me kind of wonder about him. Now he's from Key West? I get the impression he's pulling our tails.
Ken changed his name!
But the blades fell off Ken's windmill years ago.
Ken never had any blades on that windmill!
We are still waiting for our snow!
It is sunny and dry here and we are disappointed. We may go regular biking later but it isn't as much fun.
We are under a blizzard alert again, or were earlier this morning. My husband has had to borrow my sister's snow plow twice this winter and that was to clear our driveways! You moved to the wrong state, Fiver.
One or two NICE pictures of Lily would cheer us up a lot.
Time to take J up on his offer?
I am all for that!
I was teasing you, J. If you can stalk me, I can taunt you. Turnabout is fair play.
I am your dogged devotee, KKB.
I am sleepless in Seattle...or maybe I live in Pennsylvania.
R U really from Seattle, Sandy?
Of course he's not, Mariposa, and Jay isn't from Key West. They are from boring and ordinary places on the map like Bergen County, New Jersey.
You know, like me.
U from B. County, Bare?
Nope.
Guess u r drunk like i am.
So these here dogs do live in Colorado? I'm in Alaska. FOR REAL.
KKB has agreed to meet J? That has to be a joke!
It's a joke.
Thank you so much. Lily, you are the sweetest little thing and we love you. Our weather is terrible but I'm copying your spring picture off the blog and putting it on the wall in my kitchen.
Do you know we may get another storm? I am glad you are back east where it's warm and nice and safe.
Molly is right. I'm not that kind of dog.
That was cold, Anon. Kabby's not a bitch, at least not in the human sense. Go bite the mailman.
Hot dawg! J is protectin' his woman!
I LIVE RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO KAREN, IN THE NEXT STATE KANSAS! HEY, J, CAN I COME VISIT YOU IN KEY WEST? I'M FREEZING MY ASS OFF OUT HERE!
Do u have soft paws and freckles on your belly, Monty? On second thought, forget I asked that.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
That u, bare? Guess you bared the wrong thing, huh?
I have freckles on my belly.
That is more than we need to know, Ken.
I'm home and will post something on the blog. Wait a minute. I think I'm supposed to post my something in the new comments section. So Sorry.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home