As winter begins in Lincoln Park, Chester Samoyed, a mystery dog, shows up to the strains of balalaika music. (Photo by J.M. Hilton)
posted by LuLu @ 11:41 PM
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
Sunday, November 26, 2006
As winter begins in Lincoln Park, Chester Samoyed, a mystery dog, shows up to the strains of balalaika music. (Photo by J.M. Hilton)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
About Me
- Name: LuLu
I am a single five-year-old female Beagle, shown here by myself, while my mix-up of a sister sings the praises of mutts on my blog. Well, let her. I have a most intriguing (one might even say lascivious) past, at least according to my autobiography. In a former lifetime I was Queen Elizabeth the Ist of England, and later on (among others) I was Nell Gwynn, Pauline Borghese, Louise Brooks, and eventually just lovable, neurotic, adorable ME. I have a perfectly charming, albeit very annoying, sister named Sadie. She's rarely plagued by conscience, possibly because she's a Sagittarius. To date she has attempted to steal most of my boyfriends, meaning we're quite used to fighting over bones. Sadie and I are the same age, although she's the adopted one. We do have a fair amount of things in common. For example, she was once Mary Queen of Scots, and later on both Barbara Villiers and Marlene Dietrich. Amazingly we get along -- at least when we're before the public~
Previous Posts
- Rush and Randhi are also back in Lincoln Park and ...
- And LuLu might be about to find herself stuck betw...
- Moxie is named the "Sexiest Dog Alive" by Mammal M...
- ...and Blue Girl dreams~ (Photo by Lisa Bratton)
- Coming up! Lily's Aunt Lucinda arrives in Lincoln ...
- Morey the Mutt's column makes no sense, meaning it...
- Lily recovers from 'avian distemper' at her leisur...
- Gracie the coachdog has plenty to impart to old fr...
- Sonja the seal befriends a real turkey in internat...
- Lizzy (or is it LuLu?) takes to her heels and head...
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126 Comments:
Beautiful dog but where is the story?
The Eye On The Park...
Here's something different: the Eye just received a late night phone call that was not from an outraged reader or a collection agency! Instead, it was from one of our stringers in Europe, which generally means some booze hound in a bar in Cologne or Marseille. Imagine our amazement when it turned out this particular hound actually had a story.
Jeesh! Wonders -- will they never cease?
Story below.
Dateline the South of France:
A major ruckus at a manse belonging to the Duke of Rothschild and Roquefort earlier this evening, when armed dogs with bared fangs broke into chez R&R, and made off with a few priceless paintings, some exquisite jewelry, a protesting French bulldog named Giles, and the lord of the manor's girlfriend, a hot Dutch stabyhoun who gave her name as Mata.
Moxie Rothschild and Roquefort, who was recently named the "Sexiest Dog Alive" by Mammal Magazine, was not home at the time the invasion took place. (He was, in fact, partying down with another Dutch bitch -- former paw candy, Zelda the poodle -- at a party in Switzerland.)
According to local police, the castle invaders may have been let into the manse by Mata the stabyhoun, who has a lengthy pound record, as it turns out. She later insisted that she and Moxie had recently broken up, and she had just started an affair with Giles the bulldog, "in order to get even with Mox for screwing around with my old friend Zelda again."
This is France, after all.
According to Giles, he and Mata had been gnawing on wild boar bones while smoking catnip, when he passed out, and when he woke up he discovered that he had been kidnapped.
After a quick plunder and a plate of wild boar bones, the invaders quickly made their escape on motorbikes, but were stopped before they could leave the estate by two American coyotes, who refused to identify themselves for reasons unknown.
"Lafitte, we are here," one of them told police officers, who had no idea what he was talking about.
Things are still being sorted out, but the police have officially taken into custody Mata the stabyhoun; Miguel, an Argentine Dogo; Mikhail, a Black Russian terrier, and Pedido, a fila brasileiro.
Giles the French bulldog, still dazed from his ordeal, was released into superscion Moxie Rothschild and Roquefort's custody late this morning.
The two coyotes finally admitted to police that they had initially been working with the invaders, and arrived in France two days ago on a ship sailing under Venezuelan registration.
"But old Mox, you know, he's almost as hot as Johnny Depp," they said, "and besides, he's from our hometown. And, you know, once in a while, a pariah's got to do what a pariah's got to do."
The pair was given a flea dip and then released into the custody of Moxie Rothschild and Roquefort.
They were told not to leave France.
Developing...
There's your story!
We know two dogs who look like this. One is Sasha and the other is Blizzard. They are great snow dogs and our pals!
Hi, Fiver&Deuce! I lUV the Samoyed.
U don't see many where I live but I would like to. He almost doesn't look real.
My dog has a good friend who looks suspiciously like our blog boy. If this is the dog I know, he has the personality to match his good looks.
I like the pix of Lulu too. The pix of the Samoyed was taken right on a lake from the looks of it. It looks like Lake Michigan!!!!
That is NOT Lake Michigan. It's Lake Lincoln Park.
Perhaps it's the ocean? Wait a minute! Aren't these dogs from Ohio or Michigan? Haven't we been through this before?
Which ocean, KKB? I believe you are right.
I tried to get on the blog before & couldn't. I would like to meet Chester.
This sucks!
Firbawl? Where u been, dog? We miss your wisdom.
Uh, if memory serves, Firbawl's screen personality is feline, Hooey.
Dear Lulu, I suppose it was only a matter of time before you took up with a cossack...
Why isn't Lily the one having an affair with the Russian?
Lily has had quite enough affairs, thank you, Karen. Granted, so has Lulu but her's aren't as extravagant. How would you feel if your sister stold your boyfriend?
I got booted off the blog for griping about my bitch of a sister! Lulu deserves some happiness if the bitch is coming onto her man. Rocky comes across as a typical male, and Lu ought to send that sister of hers back to France. Or Iraq!
It's just a story, Jean. Just a story. Who knows? Maybe there's a big, fluffy Samoyed out there for you?
YIPES!
My gosh! I'd better let Chester know.
Keep Miss Bobbit away from the garden shears.
What sister? Lulu's having an affair with Chester? Was this posted?
It was but it isn't now. It's a mystery?
I didn't see it & I hope my sisters won't try to take my boyfriends. I'm younger then they are, so probably not.
Jean, I thot bassets were friendly dogs.
Im a sensative person.
Here is the missing link that got erased.....dum, dum, de-dum.....
From the Diary of LuLu the Beagle:
"He's hot; he's hot; he's really hot; oh, we are talking so barking HOT here; hot...hot...."
Finally, a blank page.
Dear Diary,
I don't know what I'm going to do about my baby sister, Blue Girl, who continues to call herself "Bleu" and is now barking with a French accent, even though she knows less about French than I do about chastity.
"I want to go back to France," she tells me. "Moxie's Dutch girlfriend has turned out to be a criminal, and that means he'll drop her and leash-lock with me."
(Dog help me to understand the workings of the adolescent mind!)
"He is not going to leash-lock with you, Blue, and you are not going back to France. Aren't you forgetting something? Like the fact you're wanted for bank robbery over there!"
"Giles got away with it. He's out of jail."
"Only for the time being, and I do not want the press turning my sister into Patty Hearst."
"Who's she? And Moxie needs me!"
(Great Dog Almighty! It's like trying to reason with the Bush twins.)
Then...this very afternoon, I saw Blue frolicking with Rockie in the park. Yes, Rockie. MY Rockie. King Rockie, the Rockman, the Honcho Hound, the Lord of Lincoln Park. He, who has such a weakness for houndy bitches, but I have always been his number one sniff -- the tail he most likes to nose, the goose-poop scented lips he loves to lick.
Now here is my baby sister, younger and fresher; my sister, whose hound scent is stronger, whose breath is even more enticingly rancid.
All at once I feel like Mary Boleyn watching her little sister Annie dangle younger, fresher bait in front of Henry VIII.
Blue Girl needs a smack. She's after my hunk of dogo because I won't let her have her way; and Rockie, like all males, is too awestruck by a neat pair of stifles and the set of a high tail to realized he's being used.
I'm devoted to my sister, but I also love the Rockman. I'd like to throw her into the pound, but I haven't got the heart for it; and how can I send her back to France, knowing what might be waiting for her there?
As night fell I found myself aimlessly roaming the park, trying to think while longing for love in the form of a cold nose. An old torch song came to mind, and I paused to howl at a sliver of cloud-shrouded moon.
All at once I heard the odd but not unpleasant sound of mournful Russian music, and I peered through the mist rising from the lake to behold a large white dog sitting on a bench, strumming a balalaika.
For some reason he reminded me of Peter the Great, not that I knew him personally.
"Hello," he woofed in faintly accented American. "You sound suicidal. Would you like a musical accompaniment?"
"I'm LuLu," I told him, wagging my tail.
"Chester."
He strummed on his balalaika, while I rolled over on my back, exposing my softer side, and let loose with a full Beagle bay....
That's sentient, Ken, not sensitive. There's a difference.
Blue is a bankrobbing bitch? She needs to go back to France since moxie likes those bad girls. Rockie+Lulu it is!
I don't want my Fiver chopped! His masculine aggression keeps us safe when we are biking. Jean, how can you look at a handsome dog like the samoyed and even THINK castration?
This is not how I want to end my morning. Deuce, are u and Fiver going to have puppies? If u are both corgies that makes sense, but there r too many puppies out there that nobody wants, not that I agree with Jean, who if u will excuse me, is for the most part mad at her husband and her sister.
I believe Chester can take care of himself.
Didn't Lulu recently have an affair with a Polish terrier? Will a Finnish spitz be next? LOL.
I guess I didn't get kicked off the blog this time?
Nobody booted you off, Jean.
I know what I know.
You are adorable when you're angry, Kabby.
I sorta hope she turns out to be a pit bull.
So do I.
Fo' shizzle, J. U in2 Kink?
Depends, wid. I don't like simps.
Carlot is not a simp. Felony is with cats.
Another cute dog but I would like to see more pictures of pugs, and what ever happened to Shamus and Monica? I can't keep the characters straight. Further, I am curious about Ken/Kingsley. Is he a character orjust a bonafied nut?
Getting PUGnacious, Molly?
Have u priced new pet toys lately, anyone? Three hundred dollars for a new dog bed!!!!!!! Who am I? Paris Hilton????
I would rather be Lily Hilton.
Lily's life is a lot like Parises. R they related for real?
Lily's life is like Paris Hilton's. She has to deal with the Paparazzi daily. It has even been said that King Rockie has been caught outside her window trying to catch a glimps of her.
That would figure.
Lily is much nicer then Paris Hilton, and her dog is named Tinkerbell not Lily. I kind of miss Monika or Monica and I really, really, really miss Shamus. But I like all the different characters. It's a soap.
Old Rock's been panty peeking? He is my kind of head of state.
THE SAMOYED NEEDS TO COME HERE. WE'VE GOT A FOOT OF SNOW.
Snow? Isn't that what "Jay" is trying to do to KKB?
She's my bay.
U know somethig about her?
For the latest Lincoln Park News, please check out our update under Moxie "comments."
It's true...we sometimes like to mess with you~
In truth it is my old friend Lucinda who is messing with you. As for me, I am a simple musician, a dog of few wants or needs.
And I have not come in from the cold. What an odd thing for somebody to say.
Hooray! We have been up since six!
Winter has arrived! Hooray!
I forgot. U two love snow. You are welcome to it!
We don't have snow.
Neither do we.
Don't you live in Lincoln Park, Mollie? If so, why would you have snow? It's idyllic, isn't it?
It's not that idyllic, KKB. Besides, what is wrong with snow? I like a few flakes.
You're on the right blog.
Thank you, Jean. I hope it's snowing where you are.
I read the latest EYE article last night and got a LOL from it. Could that beautiful samoyed be a spy? If he is one, he'd better watch out for radioactive chewies.
Where is the article? One vanished and i can't find this one you refer to.
The article is under the picture of Himself, Mr. Mox. All the articles are currently posted.
KKB, I am a spy who wants to come in out of the cold.
Open the windows and let in some air! This bambalina should run like the wind.
Love is a nice holiday gift.
U up for a date, Ken?
What is this -- a Christmas miracle?
Can the blog cover the wedding?
It's been awhile since I last posted and I want to tell you how much I love your dogs. Most of your subjects appear to be full brreeds, although you have mixed in some very appealing mutts. Lincoln Park must be a happy place with so many handsome dogs living there. I am a professional dog trainer and know good dogs when I see them. Yours are champs.
It is a perfect day here again. Eat your hearts out! LOL.
Get real. "Jay" is a stalker and Ken is a box of cracker jax who can type...barely. Nobody's that desperate!
Jean has her manicure scissors in paw again. LOL.
A stalker? Isn't that what an ugly girl calls every man interested in her hot sister?
IALMFAO!!!!!!
I am sicing Moljackava on you, Jay!
Does that have feathers and the blessings of a VOODOO princess?
Exclusive to LuLu's Desperate House Dogs from Us...
Yeah, so Okay. It's us. And like we know how bad LuLu's blog needs some juice, and anyways we figure she will count out at least what she doles to those dunkdumb stringers from all over the 'sphere.
We just like saved the torpedoes of Giles the bulldog -- the FRENCH bulldog, from the Evil Ones. LOL. Well, see, we were like the Evil Ones ourselves there for a ten minute break. You know. By that we mean we worked for El Chico over in Venezuela, but then we said somethin stoopid about Selma Hayek, and we had to jetfast for Patagonia or get peppered with hot metal. Uglybad. You know.
So while we were in Patagonia who did we fall over but Shamus O'Possum livin it up with a bunch of flamingos like the bones of Jimmy Hoffa come to life. So we did a nab and took him to El Chico, who for real works for this major dude who wants to take over the world, and we already knew the triggerman wanted to make sure Shamus was history so he couldn't floorboard a big motion picture deal the triggerman is in on.
So El Chico didn't waste us, but he told us to Glockmouth Shamus and dump his bones deep, somethin we're real good at, and also he told us the triggerman wanted to lose this actress bop over in Siberia or somewheres. So we met up with a couple of mutts in a boat halfway between Venezuela and Aruba, and they passed the software to us. But instead of a bitch we turned up with a dude wearin fobs, and we recognized him as a former Action Ace from Lincoln Park, which is our own hometown.
Which is why we didn't waste him, or Shamus. Like we would've wasted Shamus anyways, even though he's from LP, but the Action Ace is a dog and like that, and we got a good offer from this exotic pet store in Quake City, and the rest is studyin Caesar, except for the part about Moxie's crib and us being with the pistolitos who nabbed the Dutch treat and the bulldog to start with.
If you want to read the rest of our true and remorseful confession now that we're a hero sandwich, edrop us at the label above...and we'll clue you where to send the bowsers.
Anyways that's the whole truth and nothin but, and remember we're a couple of coyotes.
Did anybody else on the blog lose power? We were out all night.
I am sorry to hear u were without power, Cathy. I am fine, and Moljie is my dog, Yogi!
Fiver is probably without power where he lives. Do u think its true they r making a movie out of Morey?
I am in Indiana. We have been on battery power for days.
I was out all night myself, Cathy.
I kind of enjoyed it.
I want to watch the dog show tonight. Does anyone have a favorite?
Moljackava.
Hi Cathy, its me Lily. My favorite was the Cavalier in the Toy Group last nite but he lost. Cavaliers never get to win but Toy Poodles ALWAYS do just because of their haircuts.
We win because we are the prettiest dogs.
U hot, Mindy? In season?
u advertising?
I am a boneified nut.
We've got more smow and I am already tired of it. Wish this hadn't happened. Mindy, you sound sort of vain. I like the cavaliers and feel they get a bad wrap. They are too popular right now and that is why they don't win prizes. Poodles are cute but there r so many of you.
It is snowing here and my chow chow is ready to roll. Her coat is so thick, it's as heavy as a fur coat. We have had no snow so far this year and I am happy to see it. It is winter, Cathy!
I will be glad to see it's winter after my trip to the Bahamas. I am ill-prepared for winter right now.
Snow is nice be4 it turns all yellow and brown and slides inside your socks. Ewwww. I like warm.
Thank you, Ken, for verifying the obvious.
You are going to the islands, Kabby? When? This old dog has a boat...in case you're interested.
We apologize for our outage. Our provider is having problems because of all the bad weather around the country, and in the course of trying to fix a few major glitches, they had to disable us for a while. At least we think that's what happened.
I mean, it might have been the work of El Chico, Archie Catt, Auntie Lucinda...Chester Samoyed????
It was probably Kabby. She is mad at me.
Maybe you are scaring her.
Why couldn't I get on the blog tonight? It's discrimination against angry pit bulls!!!
We are back. It is a good thing we have our own generator.
What happened, Deuce&Fiver? Were u snowbound?
We are fine because we have our own generator, but we had to help rescue our neighbors. The power went out for them and then there was a fire. It was touch and go for awhile, but we got to watch part of the dog show before going out to help other neighbors in our new truck. We were on the local news here!
You two are heroes!
We got to meet our new neighbors! No one was hurt in the fire but the fire department couldn't get here in time to save the house. Smacker&Umper r staying with us for the week. Smacker is a husky mix and Umper just is Umper, and we all r fine.
U two r incredible! I am so glad you are alright!
We're fine, Cathy. Thank you for being concerned about us.
Happy you are all right, Fiver and Deuce.
i wish i could be a hero. i'm a German Shepherd, but I still sleep with my puppy blanket.
I would rather be an exquisitely beautiful spaniel and ace out as Best of Show.
Did the spaniel win?
Zee Blog shee eez vorking?
The day is ruined. I missed my Kabby.
The spaniel won.
I have a new dog named Taxi.
What breed of Spaniel won?
The dogshow? A springer spaniel called Jim.
Those dogs are so well bred. They are like living works of art.
What do u bet their not like that at home.
Holy Goalie! I am in the park all the time and had no idea that Spencer was married to a squirrel, or Lily was an international super star, or Chester was a spy. I am going to watch my step more than usual over there.
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