LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
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The Eye On The Park...
Dateline Lincoln Park:
The Eye was all set to interview King Rockie this afternoon, moments before he was scheduled to hop into his limousine -- in this case a large semi-truck with a built-in "King's Room," to make his annual Christmas pilgrimage to the Canine Monarchs' National Conference, held at an undisclosed location...in a cave somewhere west of the, ah, Rockies.
But like the rest of the press, we were forced to cool our paws in rain puddles, while His Majesty cuddled in an enclosed garden with none other than former sweetheart (and our publisher), LuLu the Beagle.
A stalwart member of the squirrelarazi snapped the posted shot of the once and ?? future ?? couple, and from the expressions on both their muzzles, everybody in the newsroom agreed -- they don't look "ex" anything.
"Hot and naughty and ready to doggie waltz," postulated one of five yapping mutts from a cable show called "The Spew."
"I think that King Rockie is disgusting!" yelped another. "He's so oversexed, he makes me want to hurl. Where is a metro mutt when you want one?"
Let's get King Rockie on the show!" howled yet another, and sue him for being male!"
"What did you and King Rockie talk about?" the crush of reporters demanded to know the moment a very demure LuLu emerged from the garden, with bits of grass still clinging to her back.
"I have no comment," she replied, and stuck to the old bark -- "Rockie and I are dear, dear friends" -- before vanishing into the maw of a block-long royal limo with windows tinted as black as a jackal's heart.
"Are you and LuLu and item again?" yelped the assembled, salivating mob when the King himself made an appearance a few moments later.
"Let me say this," he said, "LuLu and I made a simple promise to one another. We promised -- no matter what happens in this life -- to always chase sticks together."
"What the kennel does that mean?"
"What about LuLu's sister? Does she still qualify as hot paw candy?"
"Yeah! What about Bleu?"
But the King was having none of it. He hopped into his semi, blew the horn, and headed west, following the sun -- or maybe a really hot scent.
Fortunately his old friend, Nikki the hound, was more than willing to talk. "The little tramp is off to France again," she told us.
"But she's wanted for bank robbery over there!"
Nikki shrugged lightly. "Since Bleu has high-placed connections both here and abroad, the French are more than willing to forgive and forget. They're good at that, I'm told."
"Does Moxie know she's coming?"
"He's having her met at the airport," replied Nikki, with a wink, a nudge, and a not-so-subtle nip.
"What? Moxie? The playboy? Oh, that is so another age! So Ali Khan!" It was one of the mutts from "The Spew" again.
"Oh, let's get him on the show!"
"Maybe drunk?"
"Yes! Yes! I LOVE it!"
Hmmm. Developing...but hopefully well away from the madding crowd.
Correction...as usual....
While Ali Khan was Ali Khan, he was generally known as "Aly Khan."
King Rockie is known as King Rockie.
Has Lulu put on weight?
We're glad we are not in Denver!
Do you think Lulu uses a thong harness?
Lulu might not be able to fit into one. LOL.
That is unfair to LuLU, who is no more than a little plump. We have a great deal of snow here today and I hope we can dig out. Please don't forget to post a holiday picture of Lily for us.
Where do u live, Karen? Not Lincoln Park!
I live in Colorado!
Be careful, Karen. Jay will stalk u.
What happened to KKB? She go off and die?
She moved to the Bahamas and bot a doublewide.
She did not! I miss KKB.
KKB has been gone a long time, hasn't she? She must be staying in the sunshine over Christmas.
Bye-Bye, LuLu. See you in 2007.
Lulu is pretty! She dosen't look fat to me.
I hope it was nothing I said. LOL.
Perish the thought!
Why, Jean -- maybe u and JaY?
Left them speechless you did, Anon.
Evidently. Evidently.
Have a feeling Yogi was drunk. Where is the gang? It must be Christmas or something?
Genius!
No thanks.
You can tell that lulu and rockie are in love. They are so sweet when they are together.
Where do you live, Kittimar?
On Mars.
Merry Christmas, Lulu and Rockie.
Arf, arf. Favorite bartender back for Santa Day.
My drink for Yule is Hot Buttered Rum this year. It will cure any old thing that ails you and it can knock you out faster than a roundhouse punch.
Recipe: One or two oz of light (or dark) rum...depends on your tastebuds and how well you can hold your alcohol.
A round tsp. of sugar (white or brown)
1/2 stick of butter. And don't use margarine! It tastes ghastly in rum drinks.
A pinch of cloves
A pinch of nutmeg.
Dump everything into a large mug, stir like crazy, and fill it up with boiling water. If you want to have some real fun, add a little Southern Comfort.
Happy Holidays, desperate puppies!
I'll SUCK!
Seasons Greeting, LDHD! We r doing much better and will soon be ready to hit the road again. Firbawl, u need to get out of the house more.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Lulu. I read Morey's column and enjoyed your reference to James Stewart's performance as a psycho.
He did play a madman early in his career. Is that why you used him? It was in the Thin Man series, and Stewart was a screaming loon.
I doubt he ever did one Stephen King movie, but it was funny.
Hi, Manuel! And you're on the mark, as usual. Glad you're still reading the blog! S'narf~
Merry Christmas, LULU and friends!
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND STILL DIGGING OUT IN KANSAS!
Merry Christmas from Feloney and Carlot.
Yeah. Whatever he said!
Merry Christmas!
Isn't anyone on this blog Jewish?
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, LuLu, from your friends the Rez cats (~)
Have a nice Christmas, Lulu and Lily, along with all your friends.
merry christmas to you, lulu.
MERRY XMAS!!!!!!!!!!!
A Merry WET Christmas from Lincoln Park.
Help! There's a dead man in my fireplace!
Scorched or impaled?
U 2 R SICK.
My dogs are tired! So are the reindeer. The hot coals from the fireplace are now in your pants, Jay.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
50% off on sweaters at the pet store down the street, but it is a warm winter. 35% off leashes! Merry day after!
Our stores are doing the same exact thing. We have had no snow and it is very warm for this time of year. I will get my baby a new bowl, muzzle, and toys. This is the perfect time to buy Christmas presents for dogs. The day after Christmas!
I got fabadoogle presents! I got a robot cat! I am not kidding! (giggle!) I can chase a robot cat!
U lead kind of a strange life, Stacy.
Not any stranger than yours, Jean. Remember, Stacy manages to get along with her sisters. LOL.
Boof! Watch your back, son. Mean dawg!
Don't sniff down any dark highways this new years eve, Jav! An evil somethinf in the bushes is waiting for you, my boy.
I will take your advice under advisement.
I got a new pink coat for Christmas and Spencer got a squirrel. I think my mommy is ordering me a new pink stroller too!
Hi, Lulu! Merry Xmas! I'll be home soon! Miss you!
Lily, you are more spoiled then my grandma and she is really spoiled. it must be nice to be a super star! Want to tell you that I LUV pink. It's my fave, fave color. PINK rules!
Who spoils your grandma? Is this a dog grandma or a human grandma? Pertinent, I suppose.
Dog grandma! she travels the country in her own motor home! When they stop over night, she stays in the motor home instead of a kennel. she even has four boxes of toys!
Is Lulu on sabbatical?
Looks that way. She might want to give us a time to catch up.
Hi, Anne,
You know I've been trying to follow this for a year or more. I think I get it but I have a question. How many kings are there in Lincoln Park? I count three.
Rocky, Spencer, and Paco. But Paco might be a simple prince.
Pray enlighten.
Al
Rockie is the main man -- the Leader of the Pack, Allie. Spencer was a summer replacement who got kidnapped, underwent a sex change, got kidnapped again....or something like that. He might have been a spy and outsmarted all the rest. He a DOG again instead of a bitch -- for now at least. And Paco is a prince of a fellow who ran off with an intern (????) and unlike real life, is now engaged to same.
Close enough. Guess the Catt never got to be king. I like the relevance of a lemming being honcho hoooligan in a world oligarcy. Very fitting.
U into oligarchy, J?
Why don't we bring back Prince Paco or some other prince or prez who likes interns. Those were better times than these.
Rockie appears to have his scene on scope. Three bitches noted and the press loves him. Wish I'd been born under that star!
Awesome! I see Lulu has got her own fashion line. She can afford to send her bad ass sister to france.
Sez Lincoln Park is getting a three-acre dog park. This U?
Kabby's coming back, J. She into oligarchy?
Oh, something a lot less sadomas we're just about sure.
We have a dog park here and it is called our back yard! We have an open air policy.
It is snowing out and we are going for our run. If u haven't had snow in Lincoln Park, it's not perfect and U R missing out!
Lincoln Park is not perfect, and we don't have snow. Enjoy yourselves, Deuce&Fiver, but please don't wish snow on us!
U dogs are crazy about snow!
Thank you for the explanation. If you lived where I live, you would get sick of snow, although I like a nice blizzard for the holidays. If you're wondering, I live in Boulder, and that's not in Florida!
Colorado? It looks like you are about to get your wish, a might late. I suppose we could use a little snow back here.
We seem to have a fair amount of people from Colorado on this blog. Could it be they r snowed in and have nothing else to do?
Could it be you are a snow FLAKE, J, and have nothing else to do?
There is that possibility, yes.
Yeah. We r a group of boyos on a dog blog in the late night hours. It is plain and simple to tell our lives r in the toilet -- or Lake Lincoln. LOL.
I read the blog because I like dogs.
I read the blog because I am a dog.
We don't believe you. In general they're a lot more coherent.
When is KKB coming back? Shouldn't she be here by now?
She might not be able to get a flight, Cathy. Maybe she lives in Colorado? Lincoln Park is not getting a three-acre dog park. I checked. We could use one! Our park is too small.
(serious poutie (' ')
~
lincoln park is supposed to be PERFECT!!!!
Always reinforce the positive, I suppose. Can we agree, Stacy, that Lincoln Park is 'almost' perfect?
Why does it have to be perfect to begin with?
Because there always has to be an ideal that must be upheld, even if it is only imaginary.
I am guessing that that makes sense.
U dogs want snow? I am in ALASKA.
It is minnus five & we got snow!
Happy New Year!
Hello?
Hi, KKB, and welcome back. Did u have fun in the Bahamas?
Yes, I did. It was a long trip home, however, and I am very tired.
were u able to take your dog?
She wasn't able to take me!
Hello, J. No, Stacy, I couldn't take my dog. You have to get a permit from the department of agriculture, besides I wasn't staying at a pet-friendly hotel. Maybe next time.
Welcome back, KKB, and happy New year.
Welcome back, KKB. Javie must be thrilled. Wag, wag, sniff, sniff.
You his howl.
YAWN. Who is KKB and why is she such a howler?
She is a hot little hound with a cute yap. Long time no write, Jum.
Happy New Year's Eve.
It's great to have you back, KKB! Happy New Year.
It's me, cathy. KKB must be sleeping in. LOL.
Moljackava has an upset stomach. Too many dog treats, and I have one from too much chocolate. We are a pair!
My own stomach is upset today, Molly. Too much bad air on the plane. I hate to fly but do it often. Is it snowing where you are?
No, it's just raining. I don't feel much like walking my dogs in the rain.
Can't blame you there. I'm in Rhode Island, and our weather sucks today.
Nobody here. I must be the only dog on the blog who doesn't have a date tonight. That means even Ken has a date, and firbawl.
Maybe it's time to swallow antifreeze?
Being alone on New Year's Eve is bad enough without your positive attitude, Anon. Phone 911 and bark as loud as you can.
I wasn't really going to drink antifreeze. I just wanted to bark at somebody. Last New Year's Eve I ate a chicken bone. But later I puked it up. Happy New Year.
Happy New Year, Anon.
We can always count on lulu for tales of pathos in a cinch. I guess I'm drunk. Happy New Year.
It wasn't easy getting out of bed this morning. My brother is here from Maine and the dogs don't like him. Why can't families get along?
Happy New Year.
Jimmy and the cat wish one and all the best of 2007.
I will do the same.
It's snowing in Lincoln Park.
R U a doggy with a tanned tummy, Kabby? Happy New Year to 1&all.
Evidently her tanned tummy is none of your business, J. LOL.
SNOW IN LINCOLN PARK? HA! TRY THREE FEET OF IT IN MY BACK YARD!!!
MY DOGS SINK IN IT!
That is too bad, Monty. Guess you really r in Kansas.
He got more snow then we do!
Aren't u in Alaska?
I think he's baked Alaska.
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