The baddest feline on the planet? Archibald Catt appears to be as cunning as Machiavelli. (Photo compliments of Leo Profitt)
posted by LuLu @ 11:56 PM
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
The baddest feline on the planet? Archibald Catt appears to be as cunning as Machiavelli. (Photo compliments of Leo Profitt)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
About Me
- Name: LuLu
I am a single five-year-old female Beagle, shown here by myself, while my mix-up of a sister sings the praises of mutts on my blog. Well, let her. I have a most intriguing (one might even say lascivious) past, at least according to my autobiography. In a former lifetime I was Queen Elizabeth the Ist of England, and later on (among others) I was Nell Gwynn, Pauline Borghese, Louise Brooks, and eventually just lovable, neurotic, adorable ME. I have a perfectly charming, albeit very annoying, sister named Sadie. She's rarely plagued by conscience, possibly because she's a Sagittarius. To date she has attempted to steal most of my boyfriends, meaning we're quite used to fighting over bones. Sadie and I are the same age, although she's the adopted one. We do have a fair amount of things in common. For example, she was once Mary Queen of Scots, and later on both Barbara Villiers and Marlene Dietrich. Amazingly we get along -- at least when we're before the public~
Previous Posts
- Still at the bottom of Lincoln Park Lake, we wonde...
- Private eye Snots Cluzo. Does he really have a clu...
- Blog hostess LuLu stars as the three very differen...
- PRIDE&POOP (cont'd)......
- The angelic and the not so angelic? Lily tells the...
- King Rockie enjoys an early autumn dip in the lake...
- Is Lena (Waggs) LaMarr, AKA Spencer Hilton, living...
- Better off playing 'possum? Shamus is in the worst...
- Morey the mutt and his pals are stuck at the botto...
- Safe home from captivity in North BimBim, Lily say...
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See the latest news from The Eye On The Park in "comments" directly under the pix of Morey the Mutt.
It's almost Halloween and strange things are happening.....
We're moved!
Hi, Fiver. We've been purged.
Oh, come on, Cathy. It's not that bad!
KKB is right, Cathy. The fact is, matters were getting a little out of paw.
Welcome home, Deuce and Fiver!
Am I allowed on the blog?
Stacy,
Anyone (with the possible exception of Satan's puppy, and since it's Halloween, we may lower our standards there)is "allowed" on the blog. You seem like a sweet young German shepherd and we're happy to hear from you and help you with your problems.
As long as your PERSON doesn't start griping about former spouses, life behind bars, or start sniping at other blog habitues (pretend there's an accent mark over the "e"), we'll get along just fine.
Welcome Aboard!
I'm allowed on the blog, Stacy. I've been a good boy. I sit and stay and NEVER snipe.
Yogi, u r going to have a nose like a Borsoi from telling that one!
If Ken is allowed on the blog, I should be allowed on the blog.
I have seniurority.
I could not get on the blog this morning.
I had no trouble. Where r Deuce and Fiver?
Deuce and Fiver just moved. They are more than likely unpacking leashes, dog dishes, and toys.
LDHD has been having its problems for the past couple of days -- possibly due to the machinations of the evil Archibald Catt? Or Mercury Retrograde? Or maybe it's just Halloween?
We've called in our own Hounds of Hell to check matters out, and we hope to be back to "normal" (for us) muy pronto~
Could the Great Punkin be after u?
Do u mean OUR Punkin?
No, but it's a possibility.
What is that thing? A Parchovarian?
We apologize for further complications with the blog tonight. The page was down for repairs, which is the reason no one could get on for at least an hour.
Could it be the Parovarchian?
We have an "OUR" Punkin?
I have my punkin, Javens. Don't you have yours?
No commento.
I guess I'm first in the door this monring? I was hoping Punkin might reply.
It's u and me, KKB. I like the blog Hallow. pix. Not too spooky but cute. Can you figure out the Parovarian?
I am not to be "figured," Molly. I am the essence of the earth, the wind, water, and fire. I am the queen of the elemental spirits.
In other words, don't piss me off.
Well, I like that!
I like the tribute to the Pekingese. I'm also a Chinese dog and frequently dream of pagodas.
Aren't u a chow, mollie?
A very wet one tonight, Yogi. I need to shake myself off, have some Dog Soup and curl up on my blanket.
We've got rain where I am, Mollie. What is Dog Soup?
It's a mishmash stew that can be shared with my human, Jole. Are you in Ohio?
Dog Stew? Sounds ominous.
I live in England, Mollie.
No!
No is right.
I was born in Paris, Illinois.
The Eye On The Park...
Dateline Lincoln Park:
Major doings at the Church of Lily this morning, when uber celebs Brom Cairn and Babs Owtchauka flew in from Hollywood to check out what both kept referring to as a "significant and very now religious movement."
"I've examined Zen Buddhism, plumbed the tenets of Scientology, sipped coffee with the Unitarians, studied the Kabalah with Madonna," said Mr. Cairn, while he and his entourage rapidly padded around Lincoln Park Lake, as celeb-hungry film mavens sniffed at his stifles. "I've decided it's time to give Lilyism a try."
Tailing slightly behind him, Ms. Owtchauka pawsed to bark a few favorite songs for her pack of fans, including her signature howler, "Squirrel Meat in the Wind."
"I've always been a deeply religious and highly evolved canine being," she told the panting crowd. "I mean, I think about Dog all the time when I'm not thinking about something else, like running for political office, or how leaves sometimes look kinda funny right before it rains."
"Could you autograph my collar, please?" asked an adorable Golden retriever puppy who couldn't have been more than eight weeks old.
"!!!###%%%," she replied, before kicking dirt in his face.
Her entourage moved her along quickly.
The two superstars were met on the marble steps of Lily's nouveau Greco temple, designed by Norwegian Elkhound Ionia Gable, and dedicated to youth, beauty, and the current 'Face' of Celestial Canine Cosmetics (not so very long ago the 'Face' of Sushi-Siam Dog Chow), by a group of yipping maidens clad in veils. They were officially greeted by Lady Dixie Simba (AKA the Asp), who padded forth clutching two red roses betwixt her jaws.
"'elcome to di gerh ah rily," she managed through clenched teeth, before gracefully dropping the roses at their paws.
The two way-more-famous-than-you'll-ever-be entertainers were then ushered inside to meet Lily Herself, while their entourages -- one made up of Dobermans and the other of German shepherds, waited patiently outside, after exchanging the usual salutatory snarls.
"I wonder what they do in there?" a pretty Pom was overheard asking a bulldog.
"I don't know," replied a sturdy young Boston terrier, "but that howling bitch didn't have to be mean to the puppy. I don't care who they are; there's no excuse for being vicious."
There were a few more growls and grumbles, and somebody tossed a Kong ball. But the pack of fans did not turn feral.
Not with ten sturdy guard dogs to keep them in line.
"I hear that politician -- the Jack Russell who wrote that porno book, 'Irretrievable Retrievers,' is supposed to show up here tomorrow," arfed an outspoken Schnauzer.
The pack fell silent, their expressions cold and sullen.
The guard dogs closed ranks.
"Cossacks," snarled a feisty fox hound.
Developing...
Mad about you!
We were just talking about you, Punkin, but you know that. Where are you now?
Punkin! He's got to be sailing the seven seas.
Who is Punkin?
He's sort of our hero.
He's not my hero.
Do you have a hero, Javens?
I kind of like T-Bag Bagwell.
What IS it with u and convicts, Javens?
I like good ones.
I like ones that bray.
Ones that kicks!
From Backbone Magazine, a publication dedicated to all vertebrates, but particularly to dogs and cats; not that other vertebrates (in particular other mammals) aren't equal to canines and felines under law as well as in actuality, but we kind of like to limit ours and have the right to do so according to some bloody amendment to the US Constitution.
Thank you very much, the editors.
October 5, 2006 edition
See continuation....
An Interview with Archibald Catt
By Cindy Cuttlekitty
Entrepreneur, financial maven, movie producer and director -- Archibald (Archie) Catt's interests and accomplishments appear both intriguing and diverse This rougishly attractive, swaggering tomcat -- who literally came out of nowhere, has, in the period of a few short years, become a magnate, as well as an acclaimed filmmaker. But recently we have learned that there are problems on the set of Mr. Catt's latest film project, "The Lurid Leaf Pile," and we are here in Vilnius, Lithuania, where the movie is being filmed, to dig deep and get answers to a few pertinent questions.
Cindy: "Mr. Catt, I know that you're an acclaimed filmmaker, but please refresh my memory. What are the titles of some of your other films?"
A. Catt: "Oh, let me think. There was 'The Cat's Meow.'"
Cindy: "The 2001 film about Charlie Chaplin? I thought Peter Bogdonavich directed that one?"
A. Catt: "Let's just say I was involved. I also did the !!%%!!! penguin thing."
Cindy: "Really? Well, why don't we just move on? Is it true that you're so far over budget on this film that the national debt looks like chump change by comparison?"
A. Catt: "All !!%%!!! lies. It's a vast left and right wing conspiracy. A lotta birds hate my guts and they'd love to bring me down."
Cindy: "Well, what about that strange accident on the set? We understand Chantilly Khat was almost killed. Then there was the disappearance of canine actress Lena LaMarr."
A. Catt: "Chantilly Khat is beloved by all. She is a legend, or will be if she lives long enough. As for Lena, she has hormonal problems."
Cindy: "Exactly what do you mean by that?"
A. Catt: "I mean she's a slut."
Cindy: "I'm sure you're aware by now that Ms. LaMarr was recently discovered chained to the wall in an exotic pet store in Los Angeles. Her pen pal was none other than Shamus O'Possum, the author who wrote the books 'The Lurid Leaf Pile' is based upon."
A. Catt: "I was unaware of that fact."
Cindy: "You're kidding?"
A. Catt: "Look, babe, I'm not into !!%%!!! writers or intellectuals. I make movies. What do I know from nutzo authors? It's not like I'd want that ratty 'possum hangin' around the set. Filmmakers hate that kinda crap. Nobody ever wants the writer around."
Cindy: "Why do you think that is?"
A. Catt: "For one thing, writers are !!%%!!!. They want you to stick to what they wrote. Oh, sure! Because you tell the public a film is 'based on' some dumb book, it's supposed to mean it really is. The public sucks in the brains department, so we take a lot of liberties. I think that's called poetic justice?"
Cindy: "Poetic license."
A. Catt: "Whatever. I'm an eye-for-an-eye kinda guy."
Cindy: "Mr. Catt, how far would a producer/director like yourself go in order to keep an author like Shamus O'Possum off your set?"
A. Catt: "Hey, I don't like what you're !!%%!!! implyin' here. Let's say this interview has ended."
Cindy: "One more quick question. Would you care to make a statement about your alleged affair with Chantilly Khat?"
A. Catt: "Kitten, have you still got relatives in the old country?"
I apologize for misspelling Bogdanovich as "Bogdonavich." As for "The Cat's Meow," I loved the picture -- which is all about Charlie Chaplin, Marion Davies, and William Randolph Hearst.
A little bird tells me "The Lurid Leaf Pile" won't be half as good.
CC
What happened to the politician who wrote the porn book?
Here we go again. So now we're discussing pron?
That's "porno," Cathy, and it has to do with a recent "Eye" posting.
What is "pron" anyways? Does she mean "prawn"?????
Watch ur all's language!
ET TU.
I miss Gizmo. She was really special.
She is the dog Lulu used to dream about in the story. The one who was a great lady.
Gizmo was our first and bestest friend and we still miss her but we're qlso thankful for our friend Lulu!
Gizmo shows her heart in her eyes, as does the beagle Lulu. You have my sympathy for one loss and my joy for one gain.
That little dog is so cute. She looks like my cousin's dog. She has a Pekinese
I am a LARGE Pekingese!
Gizmo is sort of my idol, and I try very hard to be as patient and sensible as she was. But I'm a beagle.
I guess that says it all.
I never knew her but I wish I had. She would have been a nice buddy to chew sticks with~
That picture of Lily is a hoot!
Happy Halloween, LuLu's Desperate House Dogs!!!
I second.
Chains and whips and leather spiders. Oh, right. Halloween.
Leather spiders?
Silk sounds more like it.
A friend from Sussex, United Kingdom, writes about "Wish Dogs," who are supposed to haunt open fields in certain parts of England.
They are called "Wish" or "Witch" dogs in Sussex, but have different names in other parts of the country. Invariably they are huge black dogs with red, glowing eyes -- and teeth like pneumatic drills.
Sometimes the Wish Dogs are accompanied by a wild and evil huntsman of the 'Sleepy Hollow' genre. He is dressed all in black, and rides a black stallion with (what else?) red and glowing eyes.
The huntsman, along with his pack of slavering hounds, supposedly charges across the midnight sky, suddenly swooping down and attacking unwary travelers. Reports of such attacks have decreased in recent years, possibly because more people are traveling by car, which could prove something a genuine challenge even for the most dedicated evil huntsman or big black dog with red, glowing eyes.
Thanks, Jole, and Happy Halloween to you, too~
Isn't it black cats that bring bad luck? But I don't believe it. Halloween is fun not scarey.
It can be scary. I was in a haunted house a long time ago and found doors locking by themselves. We had to get out through the basement and I was scared to D.
What were u doing in a haunted house, Mol?
It was Halloween and I was a kid.
The real world is scarier then Halloween.
Well, Javens, maybe celebrating Halloween is a good way to leave the real world behind briefly, and once in a while we all need to do that -- people and dogs included.
For sure! I support Halloween.
For sure I support the Bat Girl of Lincoln Park!
WHO?
A cute little cocker with a very cunning cape~
Happy Halloween, and Lily makes a very convincing witch. That hat would seem to have a life of its own.
Happy All Saints' Day.
I already feel holy.
I feel like a ST. Bernard.
Too much brandy from a keg?
I ought to try that! HEEHEE.
I wish!
I had a good Halloween. I got a bottle of Jay Dee in my shopping bag!
When's old Morey's column coming back?
Morey is usually on Wednesday.
Like today?
Your pictures should win prizes and I am enjoying morey and rest of the nonsense. I have been reading your blog since you started. Is there a prize?
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