First Offender: Lily...Breed: Cavalier King Charles Spaniel...Profile: Lily is a stunning, if aging, beauty whose life story is a compilation of high drama, wild romance, and dark deeds. Born on a bucolic puppy farm in the heartland, she was not popular with the other pups because everybody's mother loved her best....She was once the "face" of Sushi-Siam Pet Foods, until she became addicted to whale meat and sued the company for millions...Later, kidnapped and held as a love slave by a crazed Asian dictator, she had to be rescued by members of a UN special forces unit...Later still, she started her own religion and declared herself a goddess. Thanks to (space) alien intervention, Lily has an estimated IQ of 300...Most recent dubious achievement: She has invented an invisibility harness which she is now peddling on Wall Street with great success...The best thing that can be said about her: She's definitely not the average bitch next door. (Non-photo by J.M. Hilton)