Cody the Akita...considering a trip to Lithuania? (Photo by J.M. Hilton) See comments section~
posted by LuLu @ 11:17 PM
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Cody the Akita...considering a trip to Lithuania? (Photo by J.M. Hilton) See comments section~
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
About Me
- Name: LuLu
I am a single five-year-old female Beagle, shown here by myself, while my mix-up of a sister sings the praises of mutts on my blog. Well, let her. I have a most intriguing (one might even say lascivious) past, at least according to my autobiography. In a former lifetime I was Queen Elizabeth the Ist of England, and later on (among others) I was Nell Gwynn, Pauline Borghese, Louise Brooks, and eventually just lovable, neurotic, adorable ME. I have a perfectly charming, albeit very annoying, sister named Sadie. She's rarely plagued by conscience, possibly because she's a Sagittarius. To date she has attempted to steal most of my boyfriends, meaning we're quite used to fighting over bones. Sadie and I are the same age, although she's the adopted one. We do have a fair amount of things in common. For example, she was once Mary Queen of Scots, and later on both Barbara Villiers and Marlene Dietrich. Amazingly we get along -- at least when we're before the public~
Previous Posts
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26 Comments:
YAWN! Here's an article we managed to rip out of the New Terrier Times: "Archibald Catt, owner and CEO of Diz Temper Productions, was given the key to the largest fish store in Vilnius, Lithuania this morning, by the Grand Pawboo tabby, who is also known as the unofficial mayor of the capital city of this historic Baltic republic.
"Mr. Catt purred, waved a paw, introduced his charming wife and their eight kittens, before jokingly requesting a crowd of at least two dozen felines not to eat Lester Lemming of Rodent House Books, who is Mr. Catt's coproducer on the upcoming motion picture 'Piles,' which is being filmed in and around Vilnius.
"Mr. Catt also introduced one of his hot young stars, Chantilly Khat, better known as the 'feline Jessica Alba,' to the yowling mob. As Ms. Khat made her graceful way through a pile of dead fish, Mrs. Catt threw a hissy fit, followed by a nasty right hook.
Mrs. Catt was unceremoniously hauled off into an alley by Jessica the hound, a bitch who's reported to be her kittens' nanny.
Ms. Catt, reading from a card, told the crowd, 'Ich bin ein Berliner.' When the comment drew no response, she managed to tell Mr. Catt in halting Lithuanian, 'Your wife is an overflowing litter box!'
"The crowd clapped, yowled, hissed with glee, and then attacked Mr. Lemming, who barely escaped with his life, thanks to actress Lena LaMarr, a spunky spaniel, who chased the cats for three city blocks, before breaking a toenail."
Yeah, well, thank you, New Terrier Times. We know you make up most of your articles, but we need filler in the worst way since our ACE reporter is in Gatlinburg.
Let's see...big doings over at Poppa Poochie's Singles Bar tonight. The owner, Cody the Akita, is (dammit!) missing our slutty news&booze hound Jessica, who happens to be his girlfriend. Our ACE tried to coax him into a roll in the grass right before she left for Tennessee, but Cody told her he had scruples, which she mistook for an STD, and dog-trotted off in a huff.
Anyway, thank Dog for the New Terrier Times. And here comes our city editor, which means I won't be able to finish reading "Pug Hill" until after my kibble break.
Just too uncoo.
(Developing? Are you serious?)
Direct me to Poppa Poochies! But what were the Big Doings?
Cody the Akita and Paco the cop get my votes as the best looking little dogs. Why little? I'm a Great Dane!!!
Hi, babe. Are you also a great dame?
When does Lily get to be normal again?
Was Lily ever normal? She's a supermodel, isn't she?
More big doings at Poppa Poochie's tonight. And by "big doings," we mean lots of drinking, growling, kibble spilling, bar fighting, leash pulling, furniture gnawing, the Dobie squad showing up twice. You know -- a really good time.
Cody the Akita told us that he's heard from Jessica, our booze/news hound, far-flung reporter, who's now kitten-sitting in Lithuania...which really has to be the other side of hell. Not that there's anything wrong with Lithuania -- but kitten-sitting?
And evidently Tabitha the cat, wife of Archibald Catt, owner and his-whiskers-don't-smell-fishy CEO of Diz Temper Productions, has been a hissy fit on paws of late, because she suspects her husband is having an affair with slinky feline starlet Chantilly Khat, whose hot looks have tomcats purring in every back alley from here to Kathmandu.
"Mrs. Catt treats me like an underling and a servant," wrote Jessica. "In fact, the only nice person here is actress Lena LaMarr, who used to be Spencer the spaniel. Oh, Cody, can you ever forget that wild night when we rolled in the high grass down by the lake together? I nibbled your ear, we howled at the moon, and then XXXXXXXXXXX."
Forget it, Jessica. Lady Chatterley, you're not.
"You'll never guess who Miss LaMarr's agent is," our bitch in Vilnius went on four salacious paragraphs later. "Do you remember Wendy the chipmunk? Well, now she's calling herself Gwendolyn Monk, and evidently she's done very well in Tinsel Town. She's even got Monica Ferret working for her, if you can believe it, and Miss LaMarr doggedly hangs on her every word.
"Anyway, John Thomas, this is good-night from Lady Jane, but first I want to say, XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX"
Oh, for Dog's sake, Jessica! Chew some ice cubes, why don't you?
"She writes beautifully, doesn't she?" commented Cody, snapping shut his laptop. "She a bitch in a million."
Oh, right. Like, try singles night at the ASPCA, Cody. Better yet, how about a fourth Salty Dog?"
"You're over you limit," barked the studly Akita.
The features editor and I spilled kibble, gnawed the furniture, and had to be hauled off by the Dobie squad. We both agreed we hadn't had this much fun since the night before we graduated from journalism school --Phi Beta Kappa.
Yeah, I plan to stay inside over the Fourth. Those warheads in the backyard are too scary for me.
A neighbor's dog ran off last year and they never did find him.
This can be a bad time for pets and it is best to keep them inside.
Our cat was missing for a week last year or so we thought. We found her behind a shelf in the basement!
We should be glad most of the Lulu dogs are in places like Italy, shouldn't we?
Thrilled.
The Americano
This drink is an afternoon slurper
that is great for holiday cookouts.
l oz. Campari
1/2 oz. sweet vermouth
Soda Water
Blend Campari and vermouth over ice in a Collins glass. Add soda water and stir. Serve with an orange wheel.
Happy Fourth of July!
Thanks, Maesh. Evidently you've been hanging out down at Poppa Poochie's.
Are the dogs supposed to drink it?
Let's hope not!
No, alcohol is bad for dogs.
As are chocolate, grapes, raisins, onions, cocaine and weed!
Drat! I loved it when I was in Scotland and could stroll down to the pub for a saucer of ale.
A feeline Jessica Alba? Yipes?
Try a saucer of ale, Burd.
I'll have a little Bad Elf, if you don't mind.
Would you like to split it with a naughty little fairy?
How naughty?
Hooey, you never answered my question.
How naughty do you like it?
Get a grip on your leashes! There are puppies reading this blog!
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