LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
141 Comments:
"So fair a coat to cover her charms..."
C'omme talle vous apres la teeth work, lily ? Tres bien, I hope. (that's my "french" poodle talk).
my,
I sure like the looks of that 'Guess Who'dog. If she's a girl, maybe we could romp a bit?
And that's all as I never lust in (my) mind (or was it his heart). . .whatever that guy said. ditto for me.
Nestle,
You are SUCH an incorrigible Frenchman. Mon Chien! It would seem that you spend most of your time sitting around lusting.
You know, we really ought to get together.
C'est moi? incorrigible. lusting.
I am just an ordinary french man.
Although. . . some staid english dr. did say (and please cover your eyes, lulu, as this is petit mal ver-bage) :
he said when I was @ two that I was a "horny little toad" ! The nerve!!!To accuse moi of being a toad !
I sot ze fraaanch ver called ze FROGS.
Lily, is the dog in the picture below this you when you were little? My sister says it is but I say it's a different dog. Who is correct?
Hi Karen, Its me Lily. You are. That is a picture of mmy little friend Mollie who walks with us sometimes. Sh is 8 mos. old. Isn't she cute?
I knew it was another dog!
Rockie sighting!!!! Yes, the Jude Law of the Waggin' Train was back in form in the ice-encrusted park this morning. Also encountered bad boy Bandit (Orlando Bloom?), and the three of us shared a prolonged group hug in the frozen grass.
It may be freezing out, but seeing those two hotties made me feel SO much better. Meanwhile, enjoy your sweaters -- Lily, Gracie, Grendil, Maggie, Cocoa, et al~
gracie the shih-tzu now has a sweater! didn't think I'd see the day.
I got another new coat to keep me warm. It fits much better.
lulu,
My she guardian/sometimes typist, had probably just watched a French movie. Freudian slip for her. hehe
Yes, I am a la chien de france with lousy french. I hope that means french dog. Hope all of you have a good day.
I believe you are a "chien francais." And I was speaking in the figurative sense, Nestle. Gracie is a hearty girl like I am, but right now she doesn't have Rockie around to keep her warm.
OOOOO, so cold out there. But my winter fantasy continues. Ran into Rockie TWICE in one day -- this time around 4 p.m. We shared some ice sticks, and I am thrilled to report that IT'S LOVE....well, at least we like the same flavor of sticks.
Now my guardian wants to say something; I can't imagine what.
It IS cold out there, and "out there" means half the country tonight. Please keep in mind that while your dog still needs exercise, s/he can suffer from a form of hyperthermia if allowed to stay outside in extremely cold weather for very long. A good half-hour romp is generally considered "long enough" when the temperatures fall into the low digits. If your dog has a thin coat, a warm sweater is a good idea. A nice paw rub after a romp in the snow will make your dog feel better, and give you a chance to pick ice chips and rock salt out from under his/her pads.
Finally, NEVER leave your dog outside for any length of time in colder weather. Unless your dog has a state-of-the-art heated doghouse, bring Phido inside when the temperatures plunge.
Dogs may not always know what's best for them, but you do! One clear hint that your dog has had enough of the cold is when s/he lifts a paw and whimpers. Booties might prevent "paw freeze" -- but good luck getting them on. I tried the bootie bit with LuLu when she was a puppy, and gave up after she ate the first one.
Happy Holidays
lulu,
are you sure we're talking the same dog when you say that Gracie has a sweater!?
The 6 o'clock walker that LOVES the sweet Rott mix and Rocky & sticks? I was told that would NEVER happen.
Also, thank you for the 'paw' reminder. Sometimes my guardians forget about the salt and stuff.
Miss seeing you all, but sounds like you're all have lots of fun :)
Nestle,
I think you're a tad confused, cheri. Gracie and I both lust after Rockie, but I'm the babe what likes kissy sticks. Gracie's the dame who shares her water bowl with him.
We are, each in our own way, total groupies~
Can you honeytongued hounds help out a lonely pembroke welsh corgi in Michigan?
Fiver,
We can give it our best bark~
But you're in Colorado, aren't you? That's a long way to bark.
Fiver,
I'm not in Colorado. Maybe some of my friends are in Colorado. And I know I've got cousins in Pennsylvania and California. My guardian tells me that a friend of hers who has a pet elk lives in Colorado -- but you're probably not interested, right?
You're looking for a bitch with the right bark. For now, let's do cyber bark...and wait and see what develops~
Longtime gone. I see the fun is continuing and Ken is still alive.
Is nestle a dog or a person? My French is terrible but I think you guys are even worse. The problem is, how would I know?
LYA
Nestle is a dog, a French poodle.
If Nestle were a Dachshund, we would of course be writing in German.
Oh, no!! Lulu, did you eat Santa Claus?
Does anyone know how to make a Yukon or Sleddog cocktail involving a severed human toe?
EEEK! If it's all the same to you, Maesh, keep your sled dogs to yourself.
Lily,
Dahling, of course I didn't eat Santa Claus -- but maybe Maesh did.
That is sometemes called tow jam?
Strawberry, peach, or plumb?
oops. totally wrong channel. movin on out fast.
to let you know lajohnna, I am a toy french poodle. a sweet one too.
well, carry on and thnx for lettin me visit Lulu's Desperate House Dogs.
Lajohnna -- Bad francais? NOUS? Or should that be "nose"? I think you've offended Nestle, who is a very sweet dog but possibly touchy, since he IS French. (I mean, the French have fought duels over truffles.)
Or is that trifles?
Sorry, gang, but I'm in a giddy mood. I LOVE the snow we've got here, and my guardian put me on the retractable this morning. She's almost out of Iodine and bandages, but I HAD FUN.
And I didn't even run into Rockie~
fun without Rockie. Thats super lulu.
Question: Aren't you of english ancestory? Beagles, are you know. And surely you must know what is said about the british.
Why even this country was born out of a fight to get away from them.
Not away from France. hehe. :)
The french are lovers, not fighters. I had just wanted to answer some scribes question (lajohannas, I believe) as to whether I was a dog or person.
that's all. nothing more, nothing less. anyway, y'all enjoy the playground, its my dinner time!
Ground filet of beagle. my favorite. kidding. just kidding lulu.
Hello again, Nestle.
And, yes, I'm of British ancestry, although small hounds of my type were known far back in antiquity. However, my own direct ancestry can be traced straight back to Henry VIII, my father in another lifetime.
Which means that's another story.
By the way, I LOVE the French, and also know what is said about the British. The Brits turned away the Spanish Armada and centuries later won the Battle of Britain.
And you ought to see what those Scots have under their kilts! Arf~
felony has a friend.
Just asking.
You actually want me to ask, don't you, Ken?
Rockie,
You really know how to have a good time! And I know EXACTLY how you feel. It's been days and days since I last saw another dog -- and forever since I last saw you.
My guardian keeps buying me toys. (I think she has stock in Pet Mart.) But I need companionship! I need someone to hold my paw, to help me chew on a stick....
Now the word is out that you're going back to Iowa?
Say it isn't so.
Maesh,
How did you get from Pink Ladies to severed toes?
Oh, never mind. Forget I asked.
You didnt liest my holiday.
That a boy, rockie ! Good job.
Next, if you still need to get her attention here's my trick. Grab the book she's reading. Take off with it. When she says drop it, drop it. Then whiz on it. Gets my guardians attention EVERYTIME.
Whats this Iowa stuff. They're sending you back to Iowa! Forever? No they can't do that. It wouldn't be the same without you rock.
Cyber bark? LOL. Not something more lasting and personal?
OK, Ken, your holiday is listed~
Fiver,
What did you have in mind?
Getting better. I'll have to read more often.
Rockie --
It was great fun seeing you in the park today -- but later on my guardian sat down next to me on the sofa I'm not allowed up on, and told me you'd be leaving town in a couple of days for absolute WEEKS.
I threw up my dog treats, then dragged out one of her old poetry books, so I could plagiarize (sort of) the following poem by Alfred Noyes: "The road was a ribbon of paw prints over my purple prose, when Rockie the Lab came running, running up to the old pet door..."
Oooo, that is sexy. But maybe I also ought to look up a few lines from "Sonnets from the Portuguese Water Dog"?
Uh-ho -- my guardian is giving me one of those "I-want-my-computer-back" looks.
So, dear Rockie, Merry Christmas! And don't you dare forget about me (or Miss Gracie, for that matter) -- We will be thinking about you and panting for your return.
(Poetry's great, but I want to make sure you get the picture.)
Love and nibbles galore -- Your favorite paw-candy, LULU~
Come to Michigan for a visit?
Rockie,
We all want you and your guardian to have a safe journey to Iowa and back. And to have a very happy Christmas. We know you can't WAIT to see your tiny, little shit-zu friend in Iowa. :)
Oh
I told Sony about the flour and she smiled. My he guardian thought it was a hoot ! Said he would have loved to have seen you roll in all that flour.
Me, I would've loved to have seen your guardians reaction. Somehow I don't think she was smiling at the time. Oh but it'll be a topic and reason to chuckle around the Christmas tree in Iowa.
And btw rock, those books interest her so she can get a job that will enable her to buy you lots and lots of toys, milk bones, whatever you want, anytime ! How bout that!
I know you have lots of girlfriends, rock. But Sony and I, we like you lots too and loved it when you chased squirrels with us a couple times.
So here's wishing you, your tiny furry friend, and your guardian and her family a Verry Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Wait a second. Lulu and fiver, your recent posts seem to be going in an "interesting" direction. Something beyond cyber bark. My she guardian says I have to quit reading for awhile as that kind of stuff gets me excited, being a french male and all.
Where is anyone btw?
My bags are packed and I am leaving for Buffalo tomorrow. LuLu is going to watch my apartment for me and she promised to be good and not chew on my furniture. May you all have a Merry Christmas and be rewarded with long, long walks in the park. See you in 2006.
Felony and I thanj you. Felony has a friend.
Sorry, Fiver, but I don't do travel well, not unless you're willing to pick up kennel costs~
Why, Lulu, is that your version of pay per view?
Hello, LuLu, Lilly, Spencer, and everybody else.
My pets and I want to wish everybody Happy Holidays. Luv the picture of Lilly in her new coat, and I'm still waiting for the book.
Paper view? That sounds like fun, Anon~
Kittimar? Long time no meow. But you have a Merry Christmas, too, Kitty~
Exactly like the funny papers, Lulu?
No, Dumbo. I was thinking more of running through the living room with toilet paper. I love unraveling those rolls of Charmin. It drives my guardian to distraction. And that's what the holidays are all about -- insanity, right?
You may have capured the essence.
Dose Santa Calsue know?
Lulu,
The holidays are about LOVE.
The holidays are about GOD.
The holidays r about me.
Does that mean ken that lulu was right about the meaning of Christmas?
All these essences and here I thought Christmas was only about ripping open my gifts of little rawhide sticks and greenies, then stealing the cats' toys. Guess not. Oh well.
Hope you're all having a good Holidays Season.
Oh, all right, everybody. The holidays are about Love and God and Ken. Surely you don't think I've taken all those advanced degrees in biscuit crunching without being able to figure that one out? Besides, my guardian reads to me a lot.
Yes, the holidays are about all of the above, but like any stalwart member of Congress, I'm sticking to my original statement unless it comes back and bites me on the tail.
The holidays are about insanity, like unraveling the TP, because without a little insanity -- By Dog! Nobody gets out alive.
The holidays are also about giving to those less fortunate. And that's a biggie for me. For example, my filthy rich guardian (who sleeps on a mattress the size of an entire dog park) has refused to buy me the beautiful $2,100 dog bed that I want. It's shaped like a bone (or a slightly damaged Porsche), is fleece lined, has its own stereo system, and it can be used as a coffee table when necessary. She informs me I'm getting a new squeak toy.
Tell me, Anon, where is the LOVE?
I think the holidays are about Ken's dog Felony. Or should be.
Talk about the less fortunate!
but we must remember felony has a "friend". just what kind of friend, though, ken never says.
oh and lulu, as far as LOVE, check out that pic of spencer and lily. looks like holiday love to me.
Happy ken holiday everyone.
Lily, you and your friend look like Santa's little elves and I'm sorry that Ihaven't been online. I've been sick with the Flu and my sister has it too. You and your friends have a nice Christmas and a happy New Year.
We've got a couple of people (but so far no dogs) on our holiday sick list. Nestle's guardian has some broken bones, and now we find out that Karen and her sister have the flu. Good friend Maggie's mom has a sore shoulder, and my guardian's still recovering from a broken elbow.
I'm so glad I'm a beagle; people seem to be awfully fragile creatures. In fact, if they weren't around to provide us with food and shelter, I'm not sure what use they'd be.
Anyway, good luck to all of you two-footers! May the Great Dog Who Sniffs All grant you good health and happiness in 2006.
Now it's time for my nap~
How about the Great Dog Who Sniffs Celestial Trash?
Or simply: HE (or SHE)Who Chew Toys Us All?
" In fact, if they weren't around to provide us with food and shelter, I'm not sure what use they'd be."
That was too funny ! lulu
Actually, that was me. Nestle's broken-boned, leg-braced, casted up guardian who got a kick out of that statement. But I'm sure many a dog and cat wonders the same thing.
Thank heavens I don't have the flu. Hope you get over it soon.
I think we should all take a vow to stay healthy at least till the end of the year!
Happy Holiday season to all.
Hi, Nestle and Nestle's Guardian,
Isn't this weather GREAT? I'm currently in training for the Iditarod -- just don't tell my person. I caught her looking at a Bahamas brochure the other day, but that's not what I have in mind for her next vacation AT ALL.
I can picture it now -- ME, the only female canine in the Frozen North, pulling a sled alongside a team of hirsute, husky males. Maybe I ought to be leading the team? On second thought, maybe I ought to ride in the sled. Whatever. I know it will be great fun once I can convince my guardian to dump the water wings and start checking out parkas.
Want to come with me, Nestle? Just think -- a poodle and a beagle in the Iditarod. How cool is that?
(According to My Sneaky Guardian Who Knows It All Because She Reads Over My Shoulder, it's about 40 below. OK, a little chilly, I'll admit. But I'm game if you are~)
I'd love to come,lulu. We could show those huskies how to really run an Iditarod.
We could practice Christmas eve. Have you seen that 60 second spot for something, capitol one, I think, well it shows dogs as reindeer pulling Santa Claws! A beagle is the leader, too.
Maybe your guardian could get you a sled and a harness and you could be a reindeer-dog on Christmas eve! Perhaps she'd even let you pull her around on the sled. That would be great practice for the Iditarod.
My guardian-- she got me some antlers, tiny little ones of course, for Christmas. I just know she's going to make me wear them on Christmas eve. Probably make me pull her walker around too!
Doesn't Felony have a new friend?
Some mornings are just meant to be. About an hour ago I chewed through my retractable leash (duct tape and all) and took off into the woods, while my guardian turned to mush. I had such fun! (She's now on tranks.) There's a rabbit over by the forked elm that I've been longing to nail -- and I almost got him this morning.
Good dogs get more squeak toys, but bad dogs have more fun, right?
As for Felony's friend -- I'll believe it when I see it. For that matter, I've yet to see Felony.
Felonyh is like you lulu. she chases wild animals.
Could you be a tad more specific, Ken?
it's me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi, Ken.
hi, lulu. I'm not the puppy angle.
Who else would spell "angel" as "angle" except Ken?
Maybe the Puppy Angel herself? But I'm sure it's Ken. What I'm not sure of is that Ken is really Ken.
it's really me.
Ken,
There's an odd rumor afloat that you're really Marilyn vos Savant, and you're just toying with us~
Say what?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
We like to keep our kennel clean, Ken, and we will not stand for having our dogs insulted. Guardians, such as they are, may take a few hits -- but you don't profane our pups!
Just what she said!
lulu looks worese then Felony in that picture.
Excuse me? It's called Method Acting, O, most annoying human.
i used to be a meth-o-dist.
ULUL, YOU LOOK DRUNK.
igot a new dog.
Don't tell me you named this one "Miss Demeanor"?
Carlot.
The dog's name is Carlot?
Only you, Ken.
Get REAl.
Why Carlot, ken. Not because you found your new dog in a car - lot, I hope?
Hi, Molly and Nestle....
Frankly, there are those among us who wonder if Ken even has a dog.
Then there are those among us who simply wonder....
Not to be insultive but it makes me wonder if I ought to be watching for "strange" men (or women) from whom I need to protect my she guardian.
It never hurts to keep an eye out, Nestle. Then again, both our guardians are a lot bigger than we are -- so maybe they ought to be protecting us?
This is true, lulu. You have a very good pt.
And people keep kidding my guardian that she has several weapons of m.d. because of her two crutches and one big ole steel toed boot.
I just can't figure out who this ken guy (?) is. Does he hover around Fraze with Felony? I've never met a Felony.
UlUl, this Michigan boy is becoming concerned about you.
Nestle,
Nobody knows who Ken is, although I have my dark suspicions. I think he's the guy who lives behind us with rats and mice and evil elementals. (Long story.) I have a feeling your guardian is safe. She walks with friends....and NOBODY would pick on the entire Waggin' Train. Well, maybe that weird guy with the husky -- but nobody with half a brain at the end of his muzzle. Hmmm. Could the weird guy with the husky be KEN?
Fiver,
Put your biscuits where your bark is, boy-o!
Oh, get a clue. This is funny. Ken is trying to tell you his dog's having PUPPIES.
EEEEK!
Ken is probably the father.
Watch it, Anon.
Felony's having babies ! Whoa.
I can't figure out if it's Felony or Carlot? Maybe both?
Scary, isn't it?
LOL. Lulu u would appear to have a RBT with boyfriends in real life and in ur mysteries.
I know how she feels. My boyfriend would rather bay at the moon than spend time with me.
Anon,
I'm making a leap of faith by assuming that you and your boyfriend are both dogs~
What else would we be?
Coyotes?
Werewolves?
OOOOWWWWWOOOO!
You wouldn't happen to know how to get in touch with a certain wolf pack living outside of Billings, Montana, would you?
I want some bad boys to chase my troika across the frozen wastes of Lincoln Park Lake at midnight~
Oh, what a tangled web we weave...
Well, OK, Anon -- but I'm not trying to deceive anybody. Well, OK, my guardian still doesn't know about her bedroom slippers, but aside from that, I'm cool~
well, ok.
Well said.
I just realized something. I think I actually miss Ken.
Hi Karen, Its me Lily. I miss you. Haven't heard from you for a long time! Do you like the picture of my new little friend, Dixie. She is a Cavalier just like me and she is only 12 weeks old. I will teach her to be a good girl like me. She is my neighbor.
Lily, I miss you too. You are so sweet and pretty. My sister has been in the hospital again and I haven't been home much. Your little friend is pretty but you are the prettiest dog on the whole blog.
Oh, for kennel's sake! Why not just do a grand tail sweep and make it the entire planet?
But since Lily is my bestest friend, I'll agree with you: she's pretty.
Hope your sister will soon be back chasing bones -- or whatever humans do. Please give her our barking best for a swift recovery~
lulu,
Something tells me you've upset Karen.
Lulu, I'm not upset, but tired. I'm enjoying the pictures and stories. Say hello to sweet Lily for me.
Karen,
I say hello to her all the time. She is my very bestest friend, even if she doesn't want to live with me.
You know, Lulu, that's very understandable.
Hmmph! Somebody else whose paw I rejected.
Lulu,
You rejected somebody?
I'll bet Punkin posted this one.
No, I didn't, Lulu, and I wish you a happy Valentines Day. I wish the provocative ASP one as well.
Happy belated Valentine's Day back at you then, Punkin. You and the ASP? Well, well, well. Maybe you can play Pygmalion?
Jealous, Lulu?
Yeah, intensely. Go roll in fish guts, Punkin~
I think Punkin has decided to sail the Seven Seas~
I think Punkin has decided to look for an eighth one.
I prefer silver-mirrored, sequestered lakes.
You really aren't from around here, are you, Punkin?
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