Tonight! Sam Spencer confronts Brigid and carries a big stick -- or something like that -- as our lengthy rerun mystery, The Maltese Chew Toy, rolls on~ (Photo by J.M. Hilton)
posted by LuLu @ 11:37 PM
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
Friday, November 02, 2007
Tonight! Sam Spencer confronts Brigid and carries a big stick -- or something like that -- as our lengthy rerun mystery, The Maltese Chew Toy, rolls on~ (Photo by J.M. Hilton)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
About Me
- Name: LuLu
I am a single five-year-old female Beagle, shown here by myself, while my mix-up of a sister sings the praises of mutts on my blog. Well, let her. I have a most intriguing (one might even say lascivious) past, at least according to my autobiography. In a former lifetime I was Queen Elizabeth the Ist of England, and later on (among others) I was Nell Gwynn, Pauline Borghese, Louise Brooks, and eventually just lovable, neurotic, adorable ME. I have a perfectly charming, albeit very annoying, sister named Sadie. She's rarely plagued by conscience, possibly because she's a Sagittarius. To date she has attempted to steal most of my boyfriends, meaning we're quite used to fighting over bones. Sadie and I are the same age, although she's the adopted one. We do have a fair amount of things in common. For example, she was once Mary Queen of Scots, and later on both Barbara Villiers and Marlene Dietrich. Amazingly we get along -- at least when we're before the public~
Previous Posts
- "Hi, Morey the Mutt here. I wish Sam would hurry u...
- "Boo!" And Happy Halloween from LDHD~ (Photo by J....
- "Oh, YEAAAAAAH~" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)
- "Those are bows not stab wounds! But Miss Bambi at...
- "Where, O, where has my little dog gone?" (Photo b...
- "Oh, dear! I hadn't realized Renee Zellweger was d...
- "Where is the hole for my tail? Oh, what vile tort...
- "It's Friday night, and The Maltese Chew Toy myste...
- Tonight! Brigid returns and the plot thickens like...
- "My color is pink, so I'm a pink witch, get it? No...
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The Maltese Chew Toy (continued)
Last week mystery bitch Brigid the Maltese showed up with her sidekick Cairo the pug -- and a collar studded with diamonds. Effie woofed the not-so-sly Maltese into pawing over $20,000 worth of the ice, and Sam now hopes to get some semi-honest answers out of his deceitful former client.....
"Sam," arfed Brigid, "I never meant to lie to you..."
Murray rolled his eyes and Iva gave out with a short, disgusted growl. "Oh, tell it to water dogs, honey!"
Meanwhile, Sam kept eye contact with Brigid and held onto his canine cool. "Much of what you told me was true," he allowed. "I believe Bugsy Gatthamer put that diamond collar around your neck to use as escape money if and when he got sprung from Alcatraz..."
"She did tell you the truth there, Sam," Cairo assured him, his expression open and sincere. "I know the story's true."
Sam slowly wagged his tail. "But after that, Cairo pal, things start to get a little murky, don't they?"
Cairo's expression went from sincere to hangdog.
"The way I figure it," Sam went on, "Florinda planned to run off with Floyd Munsday. It was a nice, simple plan. Her husband was on The Rock...she had plenty of money, including your diamonds, at her disposal. All she had to do was pack up and leave -- but at the last minute there was a glitch..."
"A glitch by the name of Sophie Caruthers, a former factotum of hers," Murray took over, "leading a gunsel named Lefty by his big mitt of a paw. She introduced Lefty to the butler as his long-lost son, and shoved him straight at Florinda Gatthamer."
"Between them, the butler and Lefty cooked up a plan to spring Bugsy from The Rock and murder him," barked Sam. "It was a revenge killing for the first Mrs. Gatthamer's brutal murder."
"This must have scared Florinda half to death," Murray went on seamlessly blending his barks with his partner's. "So she rolled on her back for Lefty, hoping to win him over until she could figure out a way to get rid of him, and the big lug fell in love with her."
Brigid yawned. "This is ancient history," she snapped. "I already told you that Florinda was screwing over Daddy Gatthamer, Sam. She wanted to get her paws on my diamonds! You know that's why I ran away in the first place."
"Was it?" Sam asked her, her eyes cold, his jaw set. "You never told me you knew about Sophie Caruthers, Brigid -- knew she was my next-door neighbor! You marked me from the very beginning, didn't you? Marked me as a sucker who was highly expendable."
Brigid returned his cold stare. "I told you, Sam, I hired you to..."
"...to find a sister who never existed!" he snarled. "On the night Archer died, Brigid, what were you looking for at Floyd's house? I know Lefty showed up there -- saw you and immediately thought the worse, just as you'd hoped he would. He knew about your disappearance and he knew about your diamonds. He had to have figured Florinda was shafting him for Floyd."
"Where are you going with this, Sam?"
"Here's where I'm going, sister --
your plan for getting rid of Floyd was a neat one, and maybe you figured Lefty would then run over to the Gatthamer mansion and do both Florinda and the butler..."
"Not Mr. Webley-Fosbery!" Cairo protested, and Brigid growled at him.
"My question," said Sam, "is what were you looking for in Floyd's cottage, Brigid? Ricardo the cat, who witnessed the entire scene, told me how you struck around for a while after the carnage. You had the diamonds around your neck. So what were you looking for -- the non-existent chew toy?"
"Diamond Dogs," arfed Murray -- and Cairo yelped like he'd just been kicked.
Story continued below...
Story cont'd...
"Is there something you would care to share with us, old son?" asked Murray.
"Sam just set you up, Cairo," arfed Brigid, "and you fell for it--leash, fireplug and kennel door."
"I'm sorry," barked the little pug, but we have to end this saga somewhere."
She sighed and said to Murray, "When did you find out about the Diamond Dogs?"
"Just now," he replied, "although both Florinda Gatthamer and Sophie Caruthers dropped rather broad hints."
"What are the Diamond Dogs, Brigid?" Sam asked her.
"Two exquisite South African blue diamonds," she replied. "They are small enough for me to swallow, which is what I planned to do if I could find them."
"Ouch!" barked Iva. "Clever, but ouch!"
Brigid ignored her. "The stones are cut in the shape of dogs -- hence the name. They are absolutely priceless. Daddy Gatthamer left them sewn into my pillow, and one day I found they were missing."
"So you set up the scene at Floyd's in order to look for them?"
She shrugged. "I thought Florinda might have given them to him," she said. "I wasn't in his cottage all that long, but I knew they weren't there. She certainly didn't give them to Lefty! They must still be somewhere in the mansion."
"How would Sophie Caruthers find out about the Diamond Dogs?" Effie asked her.
Brigid blinked. "I don't know..not unless she found out about them while she was employed by Florinda. Sophie was a nasty piece of work, always sniffing around, peeping into ledgers and drawers."
"I've got a feeling," said Sam, "that both Mrs. Gatthamer and Sophie Caruthers were playing a few games of their own."
"You can't blame a bitch for wanting a little something extra," sniffed Iva in defense of her late mistress.
"The little something extra you're barking about runs into the millions," snarled Brigid. "I was saving those stones for Daddy Gatthamer!"
"Well, Brigid," said Effie, "since he's now dead and gone, you won't have to worry about those diamonds any further. Take the ones you have, go back home, and share them with the butler and his son."
Murray grinned. "Oh, I think our Brigid would like to have more than twenty-thosand dollars to drop on Mr. Webley-Fosbery's doorstep. Am I right, Brigid?"
She didn't reply.
"Problem is," Murray went on, "I doubt he needs your help, my dear. You see, not too long after Lefty showed up on the scene, I saw our redoubtable butler burying a small box in the backyard."
Cairo's eyes bulged. "WHAT?"
"Mr. Webley-Fosbery?" said Brigid.
Murray grinned and nodded.
Brigid didn't miss a beat. "If you'll show me where he buried that box, and if the diamonds are in there -- I promise to share them with you."
Sam looked at Murray and Murray looked at Sam. "Done!" they agreed.
As the dogs, including Iva, slipped out into the alleyway behind the apartment building, no one noticed that Effie paused to carry something inside her tool shed. A few seconds later dirt began flying out the door.
(Story continued next week...)
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