LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)

LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~

Friday, October 26, 2007

Tonight! Brigid returns and the plot thickens like mashed potatoes left on high. (Photo by J.M. Hilton) Read our story from the beginning by going to 03/06/2007~~

posted by LuLu @ 11:30 PM 

3 Comments:

Blogger LuLu said...

The Maltese Chew Toy (cont'd)

Last week Sam and his friends witnessed Sophie Caruthers' somewhat messy death scene, learned that the sweet and arthritic Mrs. Petoma very likely bumped off her husband, and found themselves pondering the words: "Diamond Dogs." Our story continues...

"Murray and Iva are getting very cozy," observed Effie a few days after the deaths of Sophie Caruthers and her boyfriend Lefty.
"Mrs. P. hasn't said anything about sending them to the pound. You know, Murray would make a good partner for you, Sam."

Sam was in the tool shed, mulling many matters in his head. He looked up. "So he says. But I'm not sure I need another partner."

Effie stopped cleaning her paws. "You know what I think, Sam? I think you're just being stubborn. You and Murray would make a great team -- much better than you and Archer ever were, because you're both young dogs."

"So that's what you think, is it, Effie?"

Those harem eyes of hers were completely candid. "Yes, it is."

Sam sighed, stood up, and shook himself off. "You're putting on some weight, Effie."

"Our puppies," she reminded him.
"I'm going to be whelping soon...then Iva will whelp."

"I'll probably need a partner," Sam conceded.

Effie smiled and wagged her tail. "Have you figured it out yet?" she asked him.

"Figured what out?"

"Why, the mystery. Bugsy Gatthamer, Florinda, Floyd, Lefty and Miss Caruthers. Cairo -- and Brigid?"

He took a lap of water from the bucket in front of what had become Murray's doghouse. "Pretty much. I think so."

"Care to let me in on your conclusions?"

"When it's over," he told her. "But it's not over yet, Effie."

She went back to cleaning her paws and didn't say anything further.

Story continued below...

12:11 AM  
Blogger LuLu said...

Story (cont'd)

It was late in the morning, the weather was warm, and the four dogs were snoozing in the sun, listening contentedly as Mrs. Petoma, the landlady at 891, busied herself with her usual housecleaning chores.

Sam was the first to smell the sweet feminine scent of flea powder mixed with talc. He felt a pinch somewhere in his groin, then realized he way lying on a nail. But when he moved, the pinch didn't go away.

Cairo the pug slipped under the back fence, followed a moment later by Brigid...a slightly disheveled, less than perfect Brigid. Her blue silk bow was gone, and her coat was matted. Cairo also looked a little worse for wear.

"Hello, Sam," she barked, then cast a glance at Murray. "What's he doing here?"

Iva rose with her hackles. "Murray and I are a couple -- not that it's any of your business. You look a mess, sweetie. Your groomer shoot himself?"

Never one to condescend, Brigid didn't bother to reply.

Cairo arfed for her. "We've been living on the rough, Sam. Florinda's dead, and Bugsy. Of course we heard about Sophie Caruthers and Lefty."

"Of course you did."

"We need your help," Cairo continued.

Sam slowly wagged his tail. "Of course you do."

"Well," snapped Brigid, losing patience, "are you going to help us or not?"

"Why should I?" Sam asked her.

Instead of replying, she cut her dark eyes to Murray. "Exactly when did you run out on your duties?" she demanded, her stance accusatory.

Murray yawned. "When pills started to pop, babe. Let me put it another way, I may be a guard dog, but I was getting pretty confused about who or whom I was supposed to be guarding."

Brigid didn't reply.

"Was I supposed to be guarding Bugsy?" barked Murray. "He was in Alcatraz -- or so everybody thought. Florinda? She was proving one tought two-footer to guard. Mr. Webley-Fosbery?"

Sam saw Cairo flinch slightly and glance in Brigid's direction, but she remained as composed as a coma victim.

"Murray and I were up by the mansion the other day," Sam told her. "We saw the butler out in the garden with his son, who's in a wheelchair, but otherwise seems in good spirits."

"Brigid and I would like to go home!" Cairo blurted, and Brigid growled.

"Have you eaten yet today?" Effie asked the pair of them, and Sam had to paw it to his bitch. No matter what the situation, Effie knew how to conduct herself with grace.

Iva was a whole different breed of dog. "I'd bark you've got your nerve," she said, "coming here and bothering Murray and Sam. If you want anything for us, dearie, you're going to have to pay for it dearly and pronto." Her eyes narrowed as she fixed her gaze on Brigid's sparkling rhinestone collar.

Story continued below...

1:02 AM  
Blogger LuLu said...

Story (cont'd)...

"Thank you, but we did manage to find something to eat this morning," Brigid told Effie. She turned and faced Sam. "We're ready to negotiate," she said. "What do you want?"

"I know diamonds when I see them," snarled Iva, unwilling to be ignored, "and my friends here know I know. I sized up those 'rhinestones' of yours the first time I saw you. Those are some pretty nice chunks of ice."

"They're what everybody was after," said Brigid, finally deigning to arf at the pretty cocker spaniel. "There are six of them on my collar. If I give you two of them..."

"Three," cut in Effie. "You will give us three of them -- one for Sam, and one each for his two partners."

"I don't understand," said Brigid, fluttering her lashes in confusion, but she was fluttering her lashes at the wrong dog.

"Murray is Sam's new partner and Archer was his old one. Archer is dead because of you. What don't you understand?"

Sam was impressed, as was Murray. Iva was staring at Effie as if she had never seen her before. Even Brigid looked startled.

"All right, three," she agreed, but not graciously. "Do you realize I'm about to paw the four of you something in the neighborhood of twenty-thousand dollars?" she snapped.

"You're getting off cheap!" barked Iva, but Sam could tell she was impressed. Twenty-thousand dollars was a lot of money -- in fact it was a fortune. It certainly was far more than he could ever hope to make in a lifetime of fogging rats.

Brigid pawed at the clasp on her collar, and Cairo finally had to help her. It fell on the grass in front of her, and she stared down at it looking as if she might start to yelp.

"I haven't taken that off since the day Daddy Gatthamer put it around my neck right before the hauled him off to The Rock," she barked softly. "It was his escape money. He knew fences all over the world. We could have had such a nice life together."

"Oh, gag me with a chicken bone!" snarled Iva, and Sam got the feeling Brigid would love to do just that.

"Will you help us get home now, Sam?" asked Cairo.

"What is it you want me to do?"

Cairo wagged his stub of a tail. "Brigid has a plan."

Murray looked at Sam and winked.
"We thought she might."

"But before we hear your plan," said Sam to the little Maltese, "let's review a few things, sister -- like the mountain of lies you've built up from the day you first dog-trotted in here onto my patch of earth."

Story continued next week.

1:55 AM  

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