LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)

LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~

Monday, March 26, 2007

 Meanwhile, Jade Jardine takes an emotional bath of her own. (Photo by J.M. Hilton) Posted by Picasa

posted by LuLu @ 12:32 AM 

2 Comments:

Blogger LuLu said...

From the secret files of "the fly on the wall"....

Jade Jardine sat bound and gagged in a lonely cell in the basement of Chester's Gulag, the fishiest restaurant in Lincoln Park.

Outside she could hear lake water lapping against the walls; some had already leaked in through various cracks, and the bottom of her cell now consisted of one big puddle.

A good rain, she thought, might raise the water level to a dangerous height, and if one of the walls sprung a serious leak, she might even drown.

The pretty Great Dane guessed that she had been in the basement for two or three days. She'd been given food, and she certainly had plenty of water. She even had a friend of sorts -- a rat named George.

George came scurrying down the wall every night just after food was shoved into her cell. "You're better than a deli," he told her. "They're tight with the food in this joint, but you're getting some very nice leftovers."

GET HELP! She implored him with her eyes.

But George was a rat, and rats weren't know to do much of anything that went against their self-interest. If she was gone, easy access to edible food would be gone with her. End game? Keep her there as long as possible.

Meanwhile, two stories above Jade's cell, Chester Samoyed and a tough military operative known only as Aunt Lucinda were exchanging barks.

Story continued below...

2:04 AM  
Blogger LuLu said...

Story continued...

"I say get rid of her," snarled the spaniel. "You realized weeks ago that she knew the lake had a different smell to it. You should have popped her one then, but instead you allowed that know-it-all chipmunk to knock out her sense of smell. A lot of good it did! Now Gwen's taken it on the lam, and I'll bet my new zippered poop bags that Spencer Hilton's got blood in his eye."

The handsome Russian took a sip of dogwood juice mixed with a Siberian blend which was all his own. "Jade is an innocent victim," he growled. "She was born with a superior sense of smell -- hardly a reason to kill someone."

Aunt Lucinda barked a laugh. "So you plan to keep her a prisoner in your basement forever? You're getting soft, Chester. I think it's that beagle you've been hanging out with. She's got you thinking about tether-tying and settling down in suburbia. You're not the dog I knew in the old days."

He sighed. "The fact is, you're right, Lucinda. When I was younger, the game was a lot more fun, and we were waging war against other agents. Jade Jardine is...

"Jade Jardine is a danger!" insisted his companion. "My advice is to knock her out, wrap her in a blanket, and toss her into the lake. Show some balls, Chester! Unlike most of the dogs around here, you've still got a set -- at least I thought you did."

Two stories below, Jade Jardine watched as water began to stream into her cell from a large crack in the wall. Within minutes it was up past her front hocks.

"Heigh-ho, girlie!" squeaked a voice, as George came scampering down the wall. "No food yet? And to think! This place prides itself on service."

Halfway down he stopped and stared in dismay at the rising water. "Oh, my! You are in a pickle, aren't you? If the rain keeps up, this cell of yours is going to fill up like a leaky boat. Too bad you're not a water dog, eh?"

He turned around and scurried back up the wall.

Twenty minutes later, the water was up to Jade's shoulders.

"Gwen...are you in there?"

Somebody pushed against the door, raised the outside flap...which broke off as he entered.

"Oh, mercy me! I didn't realize you were taking a bath."

Jade made a few strangled attempts to woof.

George darted back down the wall. "You idiot! She's not taking a bath! She's being held a prisoner here! Get that stupid gag out of her mouth!"

The stranger swam across the room, and a moment later Jade spat out the words, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for a literary agent," he said. "Well, I suppose almost everyone is these days, but I already have one. The problem is, she seems to have disappeared. Oh, my! You're all tied up -- aren't you?"

"Chew through the ropes, you two!" urged George. "The whole basement's going to flood in a few minutes."

"This is really kind of you, George," arfed Jade. "It's hard to believe you're a rat."

"They won't be serving dinner in a flooded basement, sugar, and I do part-time undercover work for the Lincoln Park PD. Obviously the pay sucks, but you're still looking at one of LP's finest."

Jade and her new friend swam through the murky water and out the door.

"By the way, my name is Jade Jardine," she arfed.

"Shamus O'Possum at your service," said the soggy marsupial. "You know, I have a feeling there might be a book in this..."

2:40 AM  

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