"This is former pack leader Ace Melrose at the Lincoln Park Airport. A poodle I recently met by a hydrant informed me that the New World Order is secretly building a dog park under the terminal here -- and it's slated to be ready in 2012. Mighty suspicious, I'd say. In fact, the story absolutely reeks of a government, Wall Street, military, AKC conspiracy and cover-up. For all we know, there might even be a few space aliens involved...or Spuds MacKenzie's evil twin brother. You know. THEM." (Photo by J.M. Hilton)