"Shut yo' mouff, mama! Oh, sorry, Sally. I misunderstood. The thing is, I have both controvertible and incontrovertible proof that the Damn Doggone exists. I also have some pretty interesting pictures of you and sizzling hot TV anchor Noah Blackstone playing pawsies on a bear rug. You scratch my back right above the tail bone and I don't billboard 'em. Deal?" (Photo by J.M. Hilton) Story likely to be continued....


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