"I'm a Real New Jersey House Dog! My friends want to rip out my throat because I'm prettier than them and because I know where all the bones are buried. Oh, yeah, and because I've slept with all their husbands, sons, brothers, cousins, nephews, fathers, grandfathers, old high-school sweethearts, psychiatrists -- you know? But I gotta be me, right? And, Gina, you're tellin' me those are your real toenails? Yeah, yeah. Bite my dew claw!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)