LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)

LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~

Sunday, January 06, 2008

An Interview with a Canine Candidate: "Dogs are not descended from marmosets!" declares Sir Vinney Poodle, whose interview can be read below. (Photo by Stephanie C.)

posted by LuLu @ 12:31 AM 

1 Comments:

Blogger LuLu said...

An Interview with a Canine Candidate by Stephanie Shepherd...

His name is Sir Vinney Poodle (pronounced "Pou-dell," and the title is purely honorary). He's also known to his hordes of fans and supporters around the country as "the liberty dog." ("But never," insists a cute young Bichon Frise named Solange, "is he known as the libertine dog." At least that's what we think Solange said; she's the first Bichon we've ever encountered who was actually sporting a tongue ring.)

Sir Vinney, adored by pure breeds and common mutts alike, is not running on any platform; instead he declares the grass is fine with him.

He was born in Indiana, home to such famous two-footers as Johnny Appleseed, James Dean, John Dillinger, and David Letterman, on January 15, 2006. "I am a Capricorn," barks Sir Vinney. "Yes, I will admit to that. I will also admit to having an older brother named McGee, who says I would make a totally out there president, if only because I once lapped a few beers with Barney on the White House lawn."

LuLu's Desperate House dogs: "Do you belong to a political party, Sir Vinney?"

Sir Vinney: "Not really, but I'd be happy to start one. My brother tells me I'm the life of most of them."

LDHD: "You lived for a short time in idyllic Lincoln Park, didn't you?"

SV: "Yes, and I think it's an awesome city, small town, village, whatever. I still cherish the time I spent there."

LDHD: "So what made you move to Las Vegas?"

SV: "The dogcatcher was after me! No, no -- don't put that in the story. The move was my mom's idea, and I just went along for the ride. By the way, it's a great ride. Have you ever taken it?"

LDHD: "I prefer to fly. I've got a veritable passion for cargo bays. Exactly how long have you lived in Vegas now?"

SV: "Let's see, about a year, and I'm playing the whole thing down in my political ads."

LDHD: "Uh-huh, I notice you're calling yourself 'The Poodle From Pocatello.' Can you explain why?"

SV: Sure. It has a nice jiggle to it. I mean, 'The Poodle From Indiana' or 'The Poodle From Lincoln Park' doesn't have that melodic touch. You catch my thought pattern?"

LDHD: "I jive. But you live in Las Vegas, Sir Vinney."

SV: "Which my brother says is a very risky thing to tell potential voters."

LDHD: "Truthfully now, have you ever been to Pocatello?"

SV: "I not sure the question is relevant."

LDHD: "I see. OK, lets get down to something that is. Are you married?"

SV: "No."

LDHD: "Living with a bitch...or a stud?"

SV: "No way."

LDHD: "So, you've been neutered?"

SV: "I don't find that question relevant, either"

LDHD: "So you're neutered. Looking around for a companionable cratemate, perhaps?"

SV: "I don't have time for a social life; I'm running for president."

LDHD: "Oh, right-o. Fetch me another stick and call me Scooby Doo's simpleminded sister."

SV: "OK, OK, I could be lying."

LDHD: "WOW! And you're willing to admit it? A politician who's willing to admit he's lying? That's as rare as a retriever with good breath. A close-to-being-honest politician? I'm starting to pant!"

SV: "Uh, maybe I'd better consult with my brother."

LDHD: "Is he neutered, too?"

SV: "Well, sure. He thinks about nothing but politics, either. When I was younger I often wondered why."

LDHD: "Let's keep this simple, Vinney. You're a semi-honest politician and this blog will probably endorse you."

SV: "You will? Wait a minute. What's the flea on the flank?"

LDHD: "For one thing, you're the cutest pseudo-French candidate I've seen since I chased John Kerry's limousine down the street, and I'm into French; for another, my cratemate took off with a Wheaten terrier two weeks ago. I need a job and I need a boyfriend. Get it?"

SV: "I suppose I could use some help with the hordes in the dog parks, I mean aside from my overworked brother. He got into it with an Akita over a boner I made last week, and matters turned ugly fast."

LDHD: "So we've got a done deal here?"

SV: "Seems like. You're obviously not an intern and you strike me as acceptably vicious."

LDHD: "Happy endorsement, Mr. President."

SV: "About the marmoset thing..."

LDHD: "You're not in Iowa now, Vinney, so drop it like rained-on roadkill."


VOTE FOR SIR VINNEY POODLE, A CANDIDATE WHOSE LOYALTY WILL NEVER BE QUESTIONED AND WHOSE HONESTY WON'T BE TOO MUCH, EITHER~

2:18 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home