LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
Tonight! Sam Spencer and the Post Street gang figure it all out -- well, most of it, in the penultimate chapter of our rerun mystery~ (Photo by J.M. Hilton) If you would like to read our story from the beginning, click on 03/06/2007~
posted by LuLu @ 9:50 PM
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
I am a single five-year-old female Beagle, shown here by myself, while my mix-up of a sister sings the praises of mutts on my blog. Well, let her. I have a most intriguing (one might even say lascivious) past, at least according to my autobiography. In a former lifetime I was Queen Elizabeth the Ist of England, and later on (among others) I was Nell Gwynn, Pauline Borghese, Louise Brooks, and eventually just lovable, neurotic, adorable ME. I have a perfectly charming, albeit very annoying, sister named Sadie. She's rarely plagued by conscience, possibly because she's a Sagittarius. To date she has attempted to steal most of my boyfriends, meaning we're quite used to fighting over bones. Sadie and I are the same age, although she's the adopted one. We do have a fair amount of things in common. For example, she was once Mary Queen of Scots, and later on both Barbara Villiers and Marlene Dietrich. Amazingly we get along -- at least when we're before the public~
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The Maltese Chew Toy (continued)
Last week on The Maltese Chew Toy, as she was coaxing the gang to follow her back to the Gatthamer estate, Brigid inadvertently left her diamond-studded collar with Effie, who knew just what to do with it. Sam and Murray dug up the topiary garden looking for the fabled (and deadly) "Diamond Dogs," and almost got caught (and shot) by the butler. Finally, Iva and Effie put Brigid's lights out -- at least temporarily.
It was a cool San Francisco evening, and the tangy aroma of ocean salt was in the air. Effie was stretched out in her storage shed, her front paws lightly touching a small pile of earth -- a small pile of earth which obviously concealed something.
"Well," barked Iva, who sat directly outside the shed, shoulder to shoulder with Murray, while her eyes stayed on the the little pile of dirt in front of Effie, "we didn't get the "Diamond Dogs, but we did get enough diamonds to keep us in plush kennel heaven for the rest of our lives. Effie, that collar is worth a fortune!"
Effie smiled and wagged her tail.
"A bird in the jaws is worth two floating in the lake," she remarked, and Iva vigorously nodded.
She had new respect for the younger bitch since Effie had managed to sock it to Brigid with all the gentle emphasis of a Mack truck.
"An interesting case of murder and deceit, eh, old son?" Murray grinned at Sam, who was lying next to Effie.
His new partner thumped his tail. "Lust, murder, greed, intrigue. All in a day's work for us," he woofed.
Iva rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on! I'm still trying to figure out some of the plot. I understand why my late mistress didn't tell her boyfriend about the 'Diamond Dogs...'"
"Why?" Murray asked her.
Iva blinked. "Obviously she didn't trust him! She wanted to keep them under wraps -- save them for a rainy day. Men are men, after all."
"And do you feel that dogs are dogs, sweet ears?" Murray suddenly looked worried.
The blonde cocker was quick to rub wet noses with her new mate. "Of course not, gravy eyes! I hope to share MY share of OUR diamonds with you!"
She cast a meaningful glance at the little pile of earth in front of Effie's paws again.
"The way I see it," woofed Sam, "Sophie loved Lefty but didn't trust him, and they wound up killing each other. As for Lefty, he loved Florinda but thought she had betrayed him."
"And Florinda loved Floyd Munsday," added Effie, "and Lefty pumped a pill into him -- mainly because of Brigid."
"Ah, yes," Sam agreed. "Brigid."
(Story continued below...)
Story (cont'd)
"She's what I don't understand," admitted Iva. "Why did she want to get everybody killed?"
Murray looked at Sam, who thumped his tail. "In the beginning," he said, "I do think Brigid planned to be a good and loyal dog, and keep her diamonds for Bugsy Gatthamer."
"But..." Iva prompted.
"But she then found out Florinda was planning to run off with Floyd Munsday...and while Florinda would no doubt take Cairo with her, there would be no room for our Brigid."
"There would, however, be room for Brigid's diamonds and the 'Diamond Dogs,'" Effie added.
"But," Sam continued, "Brigid would be left as high and dry as a wormwood addict in the Kalahari."
"The butler..." Iva began.
"Would have been broke," woofed Murray, "or so Brigid assumed."
"Thus," Sam continued, "Brigid probably would have wound up in the pound."
"So she ran off," said Iva, "and set up Floyd Munsday -- and..and.. Archer."
"And no doubt hoped that Lefty, feeling betrayed, would kill Florinda," arfed Effie, "but Sophie Caruthers nailed her instead."
Iva shuddered. "How awful! But what do you think Brigid gained by trying to get all of us killed last night?"
"Possibly Mr. Webley-Fosbery's somewhat questionable trust," opined Murray. "I've an idea he's been the sharpest player of all in this little squirrel dance. He agreed to help Lefty rub out his former boss, and it was he who hid the 'Diamond Dogs.' Don't be surprised if our old butler and his son wind up the two richest men in California."
"Which would make Brigid and Cairo the richest dogs?" growled Iva, obviously displeased.
"I say Cairo deserves it!" Murray barked a laugh.
His mate wasn't pleased. "But, beef burger -- he tried to get you killed!"
"He only did it to impress Brigid," Murray reminded her.
"Right," said Sam, "and the poor mutt's likely stuck with the treacherous tart for life."
(Story continued below...)
Story (cont'd)
Iva was studying the little pile of dirt at the tips of Effie's paws again. "But what if Mr. Webley-Fosbery and his son don't take Cairo and Brigid in?" she asked. "Effie, what if she comes back here...looking for her diamond-studded collar."
Effie's harem eyes sparkled. "What if she does?"
"Well, we all know the first place she'll look will be the storage shed...and that pile of dirt is so obvious."
"I suppose it is," Effie agreed.
"When are you planning to give the diamonds to Mrs. Petoma?" Iva asked her.
"In time," Effie replied.
"Effie, we're both going to whelp soon..."
"I know that, Iva."
"And you're going to leave the diamonds where they are?"
Effie nodded.
"But what if Brigid..."
Effie stood up and shook herself off. "If Brigid has the moxie to come back here, onto our turf, and dig in my storage shed, she will find her collar, Iva."
"But..."
Effie touched noses with her friend. "She will not find the diamonds."
Iva looked perplexed. "I don't understand."
"I swallowed them," announced Effie.
"WHAT?" the three other dogs howled in unison.
"Effie, you could die," pointed out Sam, concerned.
"Oh, I honestly don't think so."
"Well, you ARE a beagle," observed Iva. "If anyone can eat almost anything and live, it's you."
"I just thought of something," said Sam. "Those puppies of ours might turn out to be Diamond Dogs, after all."
Story concluded next week...
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