"Uber awesome! Tonight Sam Spencer teams up with Cairo the pug to find Brigid!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)
posted by LuLu @ 11:37 PM
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
Friday, September 07, 2007
"Uber awesome! Tonight Sam Spencer teams up with Cairo the pug to find Brigid!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
About Me
- Name: LuLu
I am a single five-year-old female Beagle, shown here by myself, while my mix-up of a sister sings the praises of mutts on my blog. Well, let her. I have a most intriguing (one might even say lascivious) past, at least according to my autobiography. In a former lifetime I was Queen Elizabeth the Ist of England, and later on (among others) I was Nell Gwynn, Pauline Borghese, Louise Brooks, and eventually just lovable, neurotic, adorable ME. I have a perfectly charming, albeit very annoying, sister named Sadie. She's rarely plagued by conscience, possibly because she's a Sagittarius. To date she has attempted to steal most of my boyfriends, meaning we're quite used to fighting over bones. Sadie and I are the same age, although she's the adopted one. We do have a fair amount of things in common. For example, she was once Mary Queen of Scots, and later on both Barbara Villiers and Marlene Dietrich. Amazingly we get along -- at least when we're before the public~
Previous Posts
- "Big pooper-bag deal!" (Photo by J.M. Hilton)
- "Hello, Varag? Zarex here again. Listen, I'm havin...
- "What the hell is that I feel on my left hind leg?...
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- "Spread the word! Sam Spencer's back -- with a new...
- Tonight...Sam and Murray cross paths with a killer...
- "Hi! My name is Buddy and I'm looking for a mate w...
- "Aside from the fact you're able to knock over fou...
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The Maltese Chew Toy (continued)
Last week Sam Spencer and his new friend Murray managed to evade a gunsel, and Sam found out his client could bark a good prevarication.....
"Murray, is there some way I can get inside the Gatthamer mansion?" Sam asked the big guard dog. "I want to try to locate the bird chew toy."
"I can't imagine how you can get inside," replied Murray. "The place is a fortress, son."
"But there must be one or two unlatched doors. Maybe a broken basement window?"
Murray shook his head. "Tighter than a mean choke collar throughout."
Sam thought for a moment. "Is there a way to get the butler out here?"
Murray thumped his tail. "Sure, if you're willing to wait until just before dark. Mr. Webley-Fosbery is so hard of hearing, he wouldn't react to a convention of cats in heat out here in the courtyard. But he keeps to a strict schedule. He feeds me and changes my water twice a day -- once in the morning, and once right before he goes to bed. Otherwise, he ignores my existence and never even uses the back door."
"Doesn't sound like much of a dog lover," Sam observed.
Murray shrugged. "The cook is decent enough when she's here. As for our butler, he's always been fond of Cairo and Brigid. He was once a British soldier over in India, and he's just not partial to 'war dogs,' which is what he's always called Thor and me."
Murray paused and gave Spencer a sharp look. "Say, what's with this bird chew toy business, anyway?"
Sam hesitated. He instinctively liked Murray, but that didn't mean he trusted him. "I don't know," he lied, "but Brigid wants me to find it. All things considered, I'm not sure it even exists."
Murray studied him for a long minute but arfed nothing.
He's not stupid, thought Sam. He can tell I'm yanking his tether.
Sam stood up and shook himself off. "I have to be going," he said. "I want to get back to my own patch of earth in time for dinner."
Murray nodded. "If I hear anything about Cairo or Brigid, I'll let you know," he promised. "I have a hankering to see this patch of earth you like to bark about."
But instead of leaving, Sam Spencer began to paw dirt. Could he trust Murray or couldn't he? he wondered. Basically he'd always been a loner and he had few friends. In fact, aside from Effie, he didn't have any.
"Ok," said Sam. "Supposedly there's a fortune in jewels hidden inside the chew toy."
Murray grinned and cocked his head. "Brigid tell you this, son?"
Sam didn't meet his eyes. "Look, don't bark it, all right? I know what you must be thinking."
Murray stretched and yawned. "I think," he said, "that I'll go for my swim in the pool now. Want to join me, son?"
Story continued below...
Story cont'd...
"Where is this pool located?" asked Sam with some trepidation. "I'm not much for water sports, Murray."
Murray grinned again. "Meaning you'd rather suffer fleas instead of getting a bath?"
Sam nodded. "Well, yeah. I guess so."
"The pool is in the pool house," the big dog told him. "Come on, I'll show you."
Sam was just curious enough to agree.
The pool house turned out to be a small, narrow structure that looked a lot like a converted garage. It sat at a short distance behind the mansion, and Sam figured it had once been some sort of carriage house. Murray nosed open the door and the two dogs padded inside.
Murray took a sudden flying leap and landed in the middle of what looked to Spencer like a large indoor fountain. Since he considered it unnatural for a dog to like water unless he was a retriever and couldn't help himself, he backed away fast.
"You've got to be nuts!" he howled at Murray.
"Come on in," barked the other dog. "The water's fine!"
But Sam backed as far away from the pool as possible, and in doing so, he spotted something out of the corner of his eye -- something small and dark. A rat! he fast concluded. A large, fat rat!
Spencer lunged at the thing and grabbed it firmly by the scruff of its neck.
Then he smelled canine.
The "rat" let out with a pathetic little yelp, and Sam dropped it at once.
Murray scrambled out of the pool, shook himself off, and padded over.
"What's the commotion about?"
The "rat" began to shiver.
"Great Sirius! It's Cairo!" Murray declared.
Sam stared down at the terrified little pug. "I'm sorry," he said. "Cairo, I might have killed you."
Story continued below...
Story cont'd...
The onyx-colored pug took a deep breath, rose to his paws, and growled with deep dignity: "I never expected to be cur-handled in my own home, Murray, and certainly not by a ruffian like Sam Spencer."
"But what are you doing here?" Murray asked him. "I saw you leave with Mrs. Gatthamer early this morning."
Cairo hung his head. He looked so pathetic, Spencer was halfway to forgiving him for the ruffian remark. "The truth is, I ran away."
"What?" Murray and Sam asked in unison.
"I had to," Cairo told them. "Brigid needs me."
Sam decided to pass on tenderness.
"Where exactly is Brigid?" he asked, a harsh edge creeping into his bark. "Thor and my partner died last night along with a two-footer named Floyd Munsday. Jangle a dog tag, Cairo? I'm sure Brigid knows all about it."
"Oh, please don't blame her for anything," pleaded the pug. "She's nothing more than a pawn of fate, and she's simply doing the best she can."
Spencer rolled his eyes and Murray threw him a wink. "Cairo," he said, "I think you're besotted with that bitch."
"I may be a neutered male," responded the pug in his impeccable British accent, "but I'm still a dog of breeding. Brigid and I have been friends since puppyhood, and I won't desert her now."
"Nobody is asking you to desert her," snarled Sam, "but I need to talk to her and I need to talk to her pronto."
"She's in trouble," Cairo confessed.
"That only figures," said Murray. "But what are you doing hiding in here, Cairo. More to the point, how did you get into the pool house?"
"I was being pursued by the dogcatcher," Cairo explained, "and Brigid and I discovered a way to get in and out of here by way of the heating system."
"I'll be a wolf in cat's underwear!" vowed Murray. "So that's how she managed to disappear."
Cairo nodded. "I planned to wait until dark and then go to her," he said.
"No such luck, pal," Sam told him. "I know at least a hundred and one ways to avoid the dogcatcher, meaning we'll go and see Brigid NOW. By the way, exactly what kind of trouble is she in?"
"I believe she's about to go into season," Cairo replied, looking embarrassed.
Sam looked at Murray and Murray looked at Sam.
"Better you than me," he said, and jumped back into the swimming pool.
Story continued next week....
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