LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
Tonight Sam Spencer gets lucky with Brigid, which is not to bark he just gets lucky. If you would like to read our mystery from the beginning, please go to 03/06/2007 in our archives. (Photo by J.M. Hilton)
posted by LuLu @ 11:05 PM
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
I am a single five-year-old female Beagle, shown here by myself, while my mix-up of a sister sings the praises of mutts on my blog. Well, let her. I have a most intriguing (one might even say lascivious) past, at least according to my autobiography. In a former lifetime I was Queen Elizabeth the Ist of England, and later on (among others) I was Nell Gwynn, Pauline Borghese, Louise Brooks, and eventually just lovable, neurotic, adorable ME. I have a perfectly charming, albeit very annoying, sister named Sadie. She's rarely plagued by conscience, possibly because she's a Sagittarius. To date she has attempted to steal most of my boyfriends, meaning we're quite used to fighting over bones. Sadie and I are the same age, although she's the adopted one. We do have a fair amount of things in common. For example, she was once Mary Queen of Scots, and later on both Barbara Villiers and Marlene Dietrich. Amazingly we get along -- at least when we're before the public~
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The Maltese Chew Toy (continued)
Last week Sam Spencer, along with Cairo the pug, located Brigid at the Canine Coronet Dog Spa, one of the few legitimate businesses owned by mobster Bugsy Gatthamer.
The story picks up from there...
"Nice digs," arfed Sam, giving his surroundings an appreciative once-over, "but I still prefer my humble shed back on Post Street."
Brigid twitched her tail, pretended to be amused. "This is nothing for me to bark home about, either," she said. "It's just a place where I can kick back and get in touch with my inner bitch."
"Two dogs and a two-footer named Floyd died last night," Sam told her. "One of the dogs was my partner, Archer."
Brigid flinched ever so slightly and turned her attention to Cairo, who stood next to the love seat, gazing at her adoringly.
"Honey, why don't you go down the hall and find Betty Lu, that sweet little groomer?" she suggested. "I think she might be able to locate a nice bone for you."
"Betty Lu's like the rest of the staff," explained Cairo. "She knows how to keep her mouth shut. This has been a wonderful place for Brigid to hide."
"Cairo!" snapped the little Maltese, and with as much dignity as he could muster, the cowed pug meekly trotted off.
"A hell of a way to treat a friend from puppyhood," remarked Sam
Brigid twitched her tail again. "Come up here and sit beside me, Sam."
"I'm fine where I am," he told her, which was an out-and-out lie. He tried hard not to sniff the perfumed air. Cairo hadn't lied; Brigid was about to come into heat.
Story continued below...
Story cont'd...
"I'm profoundly sorry about Archer," she said, sounding almost sincere.
"I'm not," Sam responded. "At least I wasn't -- not really, until I got to thinking about it. You know, when a dog's partner is killed, he's supposed to do something about it, Brigid. It doesn't matter what I thought about him. We were partners together in the dog detective business, meaning it's up to me to bring his killer to justice. Do you understand me? Do you get what tree I'm barking up here?"
"No," she replied. "Are you suggesting that I killed him? I didn't, Sam. Granted, I told you a few lies..."
Sam interrupted her. "A few lies? Angel, you told me more lies than a retriever has ticks."
"I'm sorry," she apologized again with an equal lack of sincerity, "but you don't understand. There's a lot at stake here, Sam."
"Is that why you lied about having a sister?" he asked her.
The blue bow atop Brigid's head began to quiver. "It's too complicated to explain! I wanted to pretend I wasn't really involved. Honestly, Sam, I don't know what I was thinking. I had no idea things would go so terribly wrong."
"Terrier balls and flea dip!" Sam exploded. "I will NOT play the sap for you, sweetmeat! You lied about having a sister, and then you went over to Floyd's place on your own. He and Thor and my partner all wound up eating lead pills, but nothing happened to you. Look, Brigid, I know who the gunsel is. Now, give me an explanation. Give me something I can sink my teeth into."
She lost her cool and actually panted for a second, but quickly got hold of herself. "All right," she said. "All right. First, I had to get Thor out of the house, and that's where you came in -- or were supposed to. I figured Thor would chase you, but you're a healthy young dog. I thought you'd lure him away from there and lead him a merry chase. I didn't expect him to get killed or you to get killed. I also never expected Archer to show up!"
Sam said nothing, but he kept his eyes locked on her own.
"I tried to find the chew toy," she went on.
Sam growled low in his throat. "Not that ratty tale again. I know there's no chew toy, Brigid."
Story continued below...
Story cont'd...
"But there is!" she insisted. "Thor took it with him when he went off to live with Floyd. He hid it somewhere, but I couldn't find it. I sniffed and sniffed..."
"Neither could I," Sam admitted, "and I'm the mutt you hired to dig it up, remember? You saying you didn't trust me, Brigid?
You saying you just wanted to set me up as a chew toy for Thor -- then you'd find the toy and take off with it?"
"Sam, it wasn't like that!" Her dark, liquid eyes showed nothing but desperation. "I'm a terribly confused bitch! As for trusting you -- no! I don't trust you. I don't trust anyone. I need the jewels hidden in that chew toy in order to get Daddy Gatthamer out of Alcatraz, but his worthless, murderning son also wants them -- so does that selfish slut, Florinda. I don't know what to do!"
She jumped off the love seat and onto the thick carpet. She crept close to Sam and laid her sleek head on his forepaws.
"Sam, don't give up on me now," she pleaded. "Daddy Gatthamer's jackal of a son blew away everybody last night, and if he finds me, he'll kill me for sure. If only you could help me. If only you could find out where he is and do something..."
Sam barked a laugh. "Like what? I wouldn't be much good against a two-footer with a gun."
"I have to find the chew toy and get the jewels to Daddy Gatthamer," she howled, sounding close to hysterics.
Sam licked the top of her head, which tasted of perfume and powder. "How, angel? Even if you find the toy, Bugsy's stuck on The Rock."
Brigid began to whimper. "Oh, please, Sam. You've just got to help me," she begged.
Sam sighed, told himself he was squirrel-chasing mad, but capitulated. He allowed Brigid to lead him into the wild country where snakes and coyotes dwelt amongst the high waving grass, along with the skulls of the unlucky. This is one dangerous little Maltese, he thought, but it no longer mattered.
Cairo returned to the room a short time later with a succulent beef bone clenched between his jaws. He saw the discarded blue bow on the carpet next to the love seat. He dropped the bone, hung his head, and padded silently from the room -- an unbayed howl stuck in his throat, his heart broken like a stale, untasted biscuit.
Story continued next week.
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