The lovely LuLu
posted by LuLu @ 12:34 AM
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs (formerly the Bow Wow Blog)
LuLu's Desperate House Dogs is a blog about an eccentric little Beagle named LuLu, who, along with her sister Sadie (a Whippet/Terrier/Beagle blend), writes the lurid Puppies in Lust series, and absorbs local color in an idyllic, off-the-leash, canine-centered village known as Lincoln Park~
About Me
- Name: LuLu
I am a single five-year-old female Beagle, shown here by myself, while my mix-up of a sister sings the praises of mutts on my blog. Well, let her. I have a most intriguing (one might even say lascivious) past, at least according to my autobiography. In a former lifetime I was Queen Elizabeth the Ist of England, and later on (among others) I was Nell Gwynn, Pauline Borghese, Louise Brooks, and eventually just lovable, neurotic, adorable ME. I have a perfectly charming, albeit very annoying, sister named Sadie. She's rarely plagued by conscience, possibly because she's a Sagittarius. To date she has attempted to steal most of my boyfriends, meaning we're quite used to fighting over bones. Sadie and I are the same age, although she's the adopted one. We do have a fair amount of things in common. For example, she was once Mary Queen of Scots, and later on both Barbara Villiers and Marlene Dietrich. Amazingly we get along -- at least when we're before the public~
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51 Comments:
Nice new template, Lulu. Way to go, girl!
In order to see all of our comments so far this month, please check out the archives.
Down, girl. In order to see our posted comments, please click on Previous Postings. LuLu and I apologize for all the confusion. This is a new blog and we're just trying to get oriented, which is a polite way of saying that we don't know what we're doing.
Anne Oscard
Hi, Lulu, this is Robert. That sure is a good picture. Be sure to be good so your Mom doesn't turn you into a frog
Hey, LuLu! Wish I could play the piano like that dog who interupts parties. They should video tape that. The XXXXXXX dog'ds a genius!
Robert! I almost missed you. I was so busy checking out our other box. This is very strange. Some people are leaving messages here, and others are leaving them further down. My guardian needs to work on that one. Thank you for leaving me a message, and Mrs. O. can't turn me into a frog or I'll see she gets TOAD.
Kisses and licks -- LuLu~
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
There are more messages on the Bow Wow Blog. Scroll down to the bottom of the title page, click on "comments" there, and enjoy~
lulu,
i left a comment on your other comments place, but you've bot like 69 of them now. my dog has a drinking problem, so what do i do?
LuLu responds to Ken:
Make the effort -- scroll down to the bottom of the 70 some "comments" page, and there you will find your answer. Impatient sort, aren't you? Makes me wonder how much YOU drink.
LuLu:
Please tell Wendy Little, the seriously injured chipmunk, to contact me. I am Mr. Litigation when it comes to mad dogs. In fact, I recently won a 6-million dollar settlement for a raccoon who was clobbered by a combative chihuahua after a game of lawn croquet went badly awry. Tell Wendy that Weasel, Weasel, Ferret & Jackal are on her side -- or will be if she'll consent to let us take her case.
LuLu,
First ask Mr. Weasel if he can get me on Oprah.
Anna-mioole's lost her case, Lulyu.
lol.
LuLu responds to Ken (again):
So have you.
LuLu,LuLu, what am I going to do? Word in the park is that Wendy's planning to sue me!!! All I did was yawn and that little rodent crawled right into my mouth. I thought she was hurt. I was just taking her into the house to show my Mom and ever since then, well, you know, like everything is a mess. A big fat sloppy owl, who says he was Clarance Darrow in a previous life, has offerd to represent me, the innocent one, in court. But, I am afraid that he might try to swoop over and eat her. You know how I hate violence. And he seems to know her and bear a grudge over something...
LuLu responds to her friend Lily:
Dear one,
Look at it this way, if Clarence the owl eats Wendy the chipmunk, my guess is that Foxy the judge will declare a mistrial, and you will be off the hook. However, Richelieu the cat knows Clarence the owl rather well, and he's passed the word that Clarence is a clever old bird with more nefarious deeds in his past than most barns have mice. Do tread carefully, Lily. I would hate to see you wind up behind a fire hydrant (or in front of a firing squad). Granted, while no one wants a domesticated animal for a lawyer, a night poacher like Clarence seems really iffy. Let me see what kind of dirt Manny the mole can dig up on Wendy, and I'll get back to you.
By the way, Spencer was somewhat nicer to me in the park today; he didn't once go for my throat.
I think the spark of love is still burning, don't you?
Ms. Hilton:
My office was contacted this morning by the law offices of Darrow,Hawk&Roadkill. I believe they are to be your legal representatives in the upcoming matter of Lily Hilton, the pampered spaniel and child of privilege vs. Wendy Little, the struggling writer and professional victim.
Evidently, Ms. Hilton, you are unaware that Clarence the owl was recently disbarred for screeching at a judge and eating two defendants. Mr. Hawk, his partner, only last month was convicted of embezzlement and has flown the coop, so to speak, to God knows where, which leaves the vulture, Mr. Roadkill, behind to mind the store. Please let us know if he will be your legal representative in this upcoming matter, and we will immediately forward all correspondence to him at his perch out by I-75.
Ms. Little has asked me to inform you that she recently agreed to do a spot on "60 Minutes," and the deal with the Oprah show looks good.
So there!
Yours very sincerely and always open to negotiation, especially if there's a lot of money involved or some red-hot babes,
Willie the Weasel, ESQ.
Mr. Weasel: With regards to my sweet little Lily Girl and your nerfarious Law, and I use the term lightly,Office and your client Wendy Mendacity, if you are seriously thinking of playing the Class card, let me call your attention to the case of Randall the sewer rat v, Prudence the Persian kitty and Gertie the swamp gator v. Myron the lion. The owl was an unfortunate fantasy, Lillie Girl being very un-worldly. We will be represented by Studly Benton-Chauncey, the world famous attorney to the Royal House of Cavalier.Please direct all further misives to his office. And don't think we will settle out of court. Not one acorn will she get from us!
LuLu,
It's obvious whose side you're on in this dispute, and here I thought you were an unbiased beagle. I should have known better.You pure-breed canines stick together like members of the Skull and Bones Society.
Well, you can tell your friend Lily that she certainly hasn't heard the last of chipmunk Wendy Little. Her humans may have hired a fancy lawyer, but I would remind THEM of the case of Marie Antoinette vs. the people of France.
Let's see how snooty all of you are after you catch my spot about Psychotic Pampered House pets on
"60 Minutes." (I'm also doing a local radio show about Killer Cavaliers. Can you trust them out of the crate?)
Next week I start physical therapy for my injuries -- which means I'll be seeing a chiropractor again. I'll also be seeing an acupuncturist, a therapist, a plastic surgeon, and I'm having my two front teeth whitened, my ears pierced, and my tail waxed at Rodent World.
You'll be receiving the bill, Lily dear. See you in court!
Yeah, Manny the mole here and I'm lookin' for a broad name of Lily or Lily Girl. Great bod, ears curly enough to keep a guy edgy, suspicious, and unfulfilled. That Lily.
I got some very inter-esting info
FYEO, my hirsute honey-bee. Meet me down by the fence...back of your house..Sat.midnight. No charge 'less I have to tunnel to your door.
Come alone.
Wendy, put on your big girl panties and DEAL WITH IT! Luckily, I only need a trip to my local groomer, and I will look as pretty and as sweet and innocent as I really am.
I don't have big girl pants...I'm a chipmunk!!!
But you'd better watch out, Lily. I fixed your friend Queen Elizabeth, AKA LULU, and I can get to you too, my pretty. You and all your snooty pure-breed friends who think you're so much better than a lowly but VERY clever rodent. Watch your step, princess!
LuLu informs her blog readers:
Dear friends,
Something most untoward has happened -- an attempt has been made on my life! "Someone" tried to do me by getting me to eat a poison mushroom. Fortunately, an astute Winston Churchill was on hand, and he managed to grab me by the scruff of the neck in the nick of time.
Still, I was plenty sick yesterday, and let's just say that there's nothing romantic about flatulence; even Sir Winston eventually deserted my bedside.
My guardian nursed me through a dreadful experience -- but I am all right. Heaven knows I suffered enough attempts on my life when I ruled England.
The culprit WILL be caught and vengeance will be mine...as soon as the Imodium A-D takes effect.
Oh my poor LuLu, I hope you did not have too terrible a day. Spencer and I thought you might be indulging in magic mushrooms. We had no idea that that awful Wendy tried to POISON you. Oh dear, Oh dear, this is all my fault. I should have chomped down really hard when I had the chance. Some very scarry guy wanted to meet me by the fence last night. AS IF! You're nearly killed, I'm being sued and now my reputation is ruined. I was, of course, sound asleep in my crate last night, as any decent girl would be. I hope to see you in the park tonight, to reassure myself that you are okay. And Spencer feels the same way. He might not say so, but he has been worried and pacing a lot. We are all becomming way too tense ( and you know that can cause wrinkles). I can't help but think that something awful is going to happen. If it does, I hope it's directed at you-know-who.
LuLu replies to Noel:
While new theories about tea are cropping up daily, the consensus is that the caffeine in both coffee and tea can be extremely harmful to dogs. It can cause vomiting, restlessness, heart palpitations and in some cases, even death.
Other "foods" keep away from your dog include: avocados, grapes and raisins, tomatoes, and (believe me regarding this one)WILD MUSHROOMS.
There are all sorts of new health foods and beverages available for dogs these days. Stop by a health food store or ask your vet about them. Meanwhile, you definitely need to get your Dachshund off that tea jag.
Please see our brief salute to
American Canine Heros under "comments." Please go to the main page and scroll down to the
third "comments" line.
Let us remember all of our brave
veterans, both human and canine,on this Memorial Day, 2005.
Please see our brief salute to American Canine Heroes under "comments" on the home page.
Please scroll down to the final "comments" line and click on the word itself.
Let us remember our brave veterans, both human and canine, on this Memorial Day, 2005.
Dear LuLu, Please also warn your readers not to give their pets any chocolate or grapes. ISn't it terrible? There is nothing better than lying on the couch with a good Regency novel and eating bon-bons while my mummy peels me grapes. But , alas, no more. All I ever get now are carrots and green beans. But there is a good snack at the Pet store called Pupcorn. Spencer and I like the peanut butter flavor.Also beware of rawhide chewies from South American countries. Sometimes they use arsenic as a preservative. Speaking of which, Spencer and I found a whole pile of them in the back of our back yard. Since we are clued in, we didn't touch them, but buried them deep in the dirt. This was near the same area where I first met Wendy. Spencer says if he ever catches that hateful little thing, he will wring her neck.
LuLu responds to her friend Lily:
Thanks, Lily. I'm still recovering from the attempt on my life, but I'll keep your post open. I try to keep our readers up on the latest news as to what we should and should not eat. My guardian told me that Gizmo, the beautiful dog she had before she adopted me, loved grapes. "I asked the vet about it," she said, "and he told me it would be OK." That was only a few years ago, and Gizmo lived to be 12. But I think my guardian still feels guilty, even though she didn't know.
I will also post your information on the "other" comments board, Lily.
As for Wendy Little, she is MY number one suspect. I know she loves PD James novels, as do most thinking mammals -- but to attempt murder herself?
That is one angry chipmunk!
SALMONELLA ALERT! SALMONELLA ALERT!
Salmonella Alert regarding rawhide chews from Thailand and China.
Please go to "comments" #3 to get a special message from LuLu.
IMPORTANT!
The Bow Wow Blog is now almost a month old, and so far we're very pleased with the results. We would like to get more readers, of course, so please tell everyone you know about us.
We will, in all probability, be down for a day or two while we set up the blog for June. We ask your indulgence. Please remember that we're new at this game.
At last another chance to seize the blog. Allons, Mabel! Get your nose off the catnip toy and assist me.
And the story continues....
While trying to set up the blog for June, I managed to lose more than 100 postings that I thought had been archived. I am now attempting to get them reposted, and apologize to anyone who asked an etiquette question and did not receive an answer. Please resubmit your question and we will be happy to reply.
LuLu: "That is if you ever get the blog up and running again."
"It IS up and running."
Richelieu: "Je crois que je pourrais faire bien mieux. I can always the much better do..."
Mabel: "This new catnip is pretty wild stuff. I see birdies nesting in my litter box."
Lulu,
what happened? Everything is different.
Hi Lulu,
Its me, Lily. I'm sorry you lost so many of the comments from May. I hope your Mom can get them back. I might need them as evidence if Wendy's case against me ever goes to trial. Also, who was I in my past lives?
LuLu responds to her friend Lily:
Don't tell me that horrid weasel has been bothering you again! I will try to get the emails back, Lily, but I fear they may be gone for good. And my guardian tells me that we may change our blog site, since we're not getting much in the way of tech support, and we really don't know what we're doing, anyway.
I am not sure who you were in a past life -- yet. My guardian says that you remind her a little bit of Daisy Buchanan in a book called The Great Gatsby. I'm afraid I've never read it. Waaay after my time, although I'm doing my best to catch up. I understand this Daisy was very beautiful, but that's all I know.
By God's teeth -- I'm not even sure who Spencer was! I think I know, but, well....some things are best left unspoken.
Many thanks to Mike and Lynda Hilton, guardians of Spencer and Lily, for the wonderful pictures of
their two dogs...not to mention the snapshots of the lovely LuLu~
Hi, lulu, my dog and i met you two days ago, and we think you are wild!! i want to ask you about painting my dog's nails. is it okay or will it hurt her? Blog on!!
LuLu responds to Jill:
I remember you and your dog -- the BT with red, white, and blue toenails!
The last I heard, a nail polish called "Precious Patty's Poochie Polish Collection" (and don't try saying THAT in a hurry) was available at the Gilded Paw Dog Boutique: http://www.thegildedpaw.com/store/
dog/
Check with your veterinarian first, of course. I do not recommend using human nail polish on canines~
Lulu, I want to get the red doggles and the Snoopy bomber jacketbut Mom says no becaues there is no flying helmet to go with them. Drat!!
LuLu replies to her old friend Spencer:
They forgot the flying helmet? But surely they have the Red Baron's flowing white scarf and long cigarette holder? I'm certainly not suggesting that you take up (horrors!) smoking, sweet cakes, but you'd look great with a toy cigarette holder instead of that pacifier, red doggles, the bomber jacket, and a white silk scarf draped seductively over your collar.
"You walked into the party
like you were walkin' onto a yacht..."
Oh, excuse me, I got just a tiddly wit carried away~
Yo, LuLu,
If your anywhere near Chicago, you need to check out BARKER AND MEOWSKY. Tehy've got great items for pets. They're on line.
LuLu responds to Mercer's Man:
And to think -- I once had to content myself with the crown jewels of England!
Thank you, MM, for the information about Barker&Meowsky. My guardian and I both looked at the online catalog, and between B&M and The Gilded Paw, I now have my Christmas wish list made out.
I also must remember to get some B&M sun screen for my dear friend Lily -- she who likes to snooze in the sun a great deal, and I want to get a sterling crown ID tag for myself~
lulu,
Do you know of a good doggie boutique in the cincinnati area?
I don't think there is one. What part of Cincinnati are you from, cherrie?
The Kentucky part!!!!
I have a kentucky part.
Hi Sandy,
Its me Lily. Who are you? Spencer wants to know too!
You trying to slur Kentucky, sandman?
Appealing.
but too many comments sections. I can't keep track of what is going on.
ya had to be there in the beginning!
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